BaddaBlog

Distractions Needed

2012-01-09T11:09:00.000-06:00

Even at this early stage of 2012 I’m weary of the election.

It would be a whole lot easier to stomach if I could just watch the upcoming films for The Avengers, from Pixar, the Bond franchise, the first installment of The Hobbit, and the Doctor Who episodes due out in the Fall. And the second half of this season of The Clone Wars.

Passing Down Favorites

2011-11-14T20:52:00.003-06:00

I love showing my son stories, toys, movies, and events from my past. Legos from my youth are just as cool to a young kid now. Driving past my old neighborhoods and describing what we did all summer, or any time of year, is a delight. But for some reason, watching a film captures something special.

In most cases the film hasn't changed at all, so you can remember and relive the old days while watching the wonder in the eyes of a new audience. Sometimes, your memory leaves out small details... or details that seem small but become a little larger when they are presented to the kid.

For example, one of my all time favorite comedy films is "Young Frankenstein". I never saw all of the Universal 1930s "Frankenstein" before seeing Mel Brooks' classic parody, at least not to my knowledge. My sister and I rented that movie over and over and over and laughed each and every time.

My wife didn't want me to show the whole thing to him, and I agreed, but mostly since he should see the Universal films first. So downstairs to the comfy couch we go to watch a few key scenes.

Each scene he repeated a line or two with a huge smile on his face! Pure joy... laughing with my son over the same things.

"Put! The candle! Back!"

"Werewolf!"
"Werewolf?"
"There wolf. There castle."

"Sedagive. Give him a sedagive!"
"Sed-a-GIVE?!?!?!"

"Walk this way. This way, this way."

"Frau Blucher."

Unfortunately, he caught a line that I thought he would miss completely. Which line?

As long as he doesn't say it at school, I'm fine.

Stick it Out

2011-11-08T17:52:00.002-06:00

Long time, no read. Or write.

Recent claims on Herman Cain's character seem out of place. What's more they seem far beyond the level of scrutiny the press held President Obama to when he was a candidate.

Should the press pursue Mr. Cain like this? Probably. After all, what if it is true?

But Cain doesn't need to be the issue here... the issue is, as often the case, journalists in name only. The type of wretches who give a pass to and cover for Their Guy.

Now, I like Mr. Cain. A lot. But what if there is something to all this?

I remember saying to someone when these claims had no name to them, "If I were collecting material to smear someone, I'd make damn sure that whatever I started with I could follow up with something bigger... and then bigger."

I've been waiting for Sharon Bialek to speak publicly. Not specifically her, but the journalist in me (I have a history) said "There is more," and it would come soon enough.

What to do? Hope my guy can weather all this? After all, if President Clinton could get away with it, why can't *my* guy shake free?

But what if it is true? I don't want my guy to get through simply to even the score. I don't want a guy who can't be trusted.

Has our culture reached the point where this sort of thing, if it is true, isn't important to some people? Most people?

What's more, too many people have instantly gone after Sharon Bialek with venom. I've got my suspicions about her, but I don't know anything.

This whole thing smells of trouble... and someone is going through a lot of it to get this circus running through town.

Moved to Speak

2011-10-24T07:22:00.002-05:00

Hmmm... what time is it?
October 2011?!?!?! Talk about oversleeping.

Maybe a good rant might wake me up. For now, I'll just hit the Snooze button. ;)

Mind Your Own Business

2010-03-10T12:25:00.002-06:00

Hi, how are you? Having a good day? Mind if I ask a few questions?

Probably a bunch of tedious nonsense. What should you do if you get asked a bunch of tedious nonsense?

I have suggestions:

How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?
We ask this question to help get an accurate count of the number of people in the household on Census Day, April 1, 2010. The answer should be based on the guidelines in the 'Start here' section. We use the information to ensure response accuracy and completeness and to contact respondents whose forms have incomplete or missing information.

I didn’t count at the time, but at least me... well now that you mention it, I wasn't the only one there.

Were there any additional people staying here April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question 1?
Asked since 1880. We ask this question to help identify people who may have been excluded in the count provided in Question 1. We use the information to ensure response accuracy and completeness and to contact respondents whose forms have incomplete or missing information.

Maybe… I didn’t check.

Is this house, apartment, or mobile home: owned with mortgage, owned without mortgage, rented, occupied without rent?
Asked since 1890. Homeownership rates serve as an indicator of the nation's economy. The data are also used to administer housing programs and to inform planning decisions.

I really don’t know. I have someone else manage that information and my finances. Buy the way, your question has been intrusive since 1890.

What is your telephone number?
We ask for a phone number in case we need to contact a respondent when a form is returned with incomplete or missing information.

Look it up online, if you can find it.

Please provide information for each person living here. Start with a person here who owns or rents this house, apartment, or mobile home. If the owner or renter lives somewhere else, start with any adult living here. This will be Person 1. What is Person 1's name?
Listing the name of each person in the household helps the respondent to include all members, particularly in large households where a respondent may forget who was counted and who was not. Also, names are needed if additional information about an individual must be obtained to complete the census form. Federal law protects the confidentiality of personal information, including names.

Please refer to Person 1 as “Mike Hunt”.

What is Person 1's sex?
Asked since 1790. Census data about sex are important because many federal programs must differentiate between males and females for funding, implementing and evaluating their programs. For instance, laws promoting equal employment opportunity for women require census data on sex. Also, sociologists, economists, and other researchers who analyze social and economic trends use the data.

You’d think I’d know whether Mike Hunt is male or female… looks female, but has a male name.

What is Person 1's age and Date of Birth?
Asked since 1800. Federal, state, and local governments need data about age to interpret most social and economic characteristics, such as forecasting the number of people eligible for Social Security or Medicare benefits. The data are widely used in planning and evaluating government programs and policies that provide funds or services for children, working-age adults, women of childbearing age, or the older population.

I don’t know how old Mike Hunt is… doesn’t look old, though.

Is Person 1 of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin?
Asked since 1970. The data collected in this question are needed by federal agencies to monitor compliance with anti-discrimination provisions, such as under the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act. State and local governments may use the data to help plan and administer bilingual programs for people of Hispanic origin.

Mike Hunt wants you to drop the 40 year old question… because Mike Hunt thinks federal, state, and local agencies should not monitor compliance with anti-discrimination provisions. Mike Hunt thinks you are a quota-queen.

If I need to answer, I’ll try a stab in the dark. Perhaps Mike Hunt is Brazilian… I’m basing that on Mike Hunt’s hairstyle.

What is Person 1's race?
Asked since 1790. Race is key to implementing many federal laws and is needed to monitor compliance with the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act. State governments use the data to determine congressional, state and local voting districts. Race data are also used to assess fairness of employment practices, to monitor racial disparities in characteristics such as health and education and to plan and obtain funds for public services.

Again, you’d think it wouldn’t be difficult to have a vague idea of what race Mike Hunt is. Mike Hunt is light brown in parts, but also pink.

Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else?
This is another question we ask in order to ensure response accuracy and completeness and to contact respondents whose forms have incomplete or missing information.

Probably, but right now I don’t know where Mike Hunt is. Have you seen Mike Hunt? Maybe Mike Hunt is in the parking lot.

Traitor

2010-01-27T12:10:00.000-06:00

I practically gave away the keys to the kingdom yesterday. For this I might get branded, drawn and quartered, and sent to the fishes.

A couple of women at work talked about their spouses, boyfriends, and fathers on how they complain. Commercials come on television and the men charge that the company is conspiring and lying to the viewer. One buys a new vehicle, and after a couple of weeks begins to understand that it isn’t quite what he was sold… and he let loose a torrent of vulgarity. (I wish I could have heard it!) Things break, complain! Someone’s late, complain! Favorite show gets canceled, complain! Favorite show doesn’t get canceled but goes from good to terrible, massive complaining! Your team falls apart in the last few minutes, EPIC COMPLAINING!!!

They just couldn’t fathom how the guys would complain so much. The women told them to knock it off, and were then surprised with the guys were shocked.

Here is my betrayal.

I told them that we love to complain. Christ, I live in Minnesota… I complain every winter, in spite of the fact that I like it. Hell, I love it!

I didn't even realize I had revealed such precious information until well after it had tumbled out of my mouth.

In my defense, I got her to admit they women love to complain, too… so maybe in the interest of détente the two of us will get let free with a slap on the wrist.

Why Such a Cold Winter? Praise for G.W.

2010-01-07T11:47:00.004-06:00

Theory: This winter is so snowy and cold because it's freezing in Hell.

Check it out, a Hillary Clinton fan blogs appreciation and thanks to President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush.

;)

...we will always be grateful for what George and Laura Bush did this week, with no media attention, when they very quietly went to Ft. Hood and met personally with the families of the victims of this terrorist attack.

FOR HOURS.

The Bushes went and met privately with these families for HOURS, hugging them, holding them, comforting them.

If there are any of you out there with any connection at all to the Bushes, we implore you to give them our thanks…you tell them that a bunch of gay Hillary guys in Boystown, Chicago were wrong about the Bushes…and are deeply, deeply sorry for any jokes we told about them in the past, any bad thoughts we had about these good, good people.

You may be as surprised by this as we are ourselves, but from this day forward George W. and Laura Bush are now on the same list for us as the Clintons, Geraldine Ferraro, Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and the other political figures we keep in our hearts and never allow anyone to badmouth.

Criticize their policies academically and intelligently and discuss the Bush presidency in historical and political terms…but you mess with the Bushes personally and, from this day forward, you’ll answer to us.

We hope someday to be able to thank George W. and Laura in person for all they’ve done, and continue to do. They didn’t have to head to Ft. Hood. That was not their responsibility.

Scrounge around a little, you'll see the author isn't quite what you'd expect from a Hillary supporter... but more importantly you'll understand why "Sometimes the Universe Brings You the Wrong French Toast". Go ahead... check the link. It's a great, personal story about how easy it is to simply accept some of those little accidents that occur. Sometimes an honest mistake isn't a travesty of justice.

Not only that, in a way your reaction can define who you are.

Vicious and Brutal, but Not a Terrorist

2010-01-06T11:33:00.002-06:00

And Elvis is in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out, man.
- Mojo Nixon

If an extremist Islamic terrorist jackass was on an airline, like the Northwest flight on Christmas, who would you want on the flight to help subdue the dirtbag?

A sky marshall?
A courageous passenger?
Agent Jack Bauer?
Joan Rivers?

Personally, I'd want all three... but the reason I would want Joan Rivers, the queen of no-holds-barred quips, is to have her berate, ridicule, and embarass the son of a bitch. It should be part of the punishment for Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab... public vilification by a brassy Jewish woman from New York.

Broadcast the video live on a pay-per-view channel and video-on-demand online. Sell DVDs. Transmit it for free to Yemen. Send those Al-Qaeda jackasses free copies.

Then after that, perhaps folks won't consider her a suspicious passenger.

(Who in the eff was working as the gate agent, Heidi Abramowitz?)

What's Wrong With a Little Cold?

2010-01-04T11:56:00.002-06:00

Nothing... that's what's wrong with it.

That's why we have socks... multiple layers of socks, if you like. Not to mention undershirts, long underwear, gloves, hats, scarves, ear muffs, jackets, and fires.

I can't handle the sharp, fierce wind, though. But other than that, a little cold ain't so bad.

My son took to it very well so he could try skating. He wasn't frustrated at repeatedly falling down... in fact, he rather enjoyed slipping on his ass. He also learned to get up quite well, as well as shuffle along on skates. Me? Oh, no. Not yet, anyway. I didn't have the right clothes, much less skates... but soon I'll take to the ice.

This reminds me of my only attempt at ice skating. You'd think a kid who grew up in the state of Minnesota would have at least given it more than one try. I was within fifteen miles of the spot where the boy was falling on his can... some thirty-three or maybe thirty-five years before. I was very discouraged at not being able to consistently get on my feet, much less balance, and I gave up. In fact, I started digging the back of my skate into the ice like a pain in the ass.

All I wanted was a cup of hot chocolate, and perhaps to be home in front of the television. Not that anything was on.

Maybe a little cross country skiing this coming weekend, if not an attempt on the rink.

Wasting Your Own Time and Money: Random Acts of Kindness

2009-12-21T12:38:00.002-06:00

Throw out all references to Random Acts of Kindness… it is utter bullshit.

First of all, it is hardly random. You walk in to your local grocery store (already not random) and pay for someone’s groceries… whose groceries? The people who look poor? Not random. The people merely look poor… are they indeed needy or simply wearing old, comfortable clothes? What if you really wouldn't know a poor person if he jumped up and bit you on the ass? (Of course your judgment isn't sound... you want to practice "random acts of kindness" like a dutiful and mindless little quasi-lefty jackass.)

Secondly, why not have a purpose or a meaning behind your generosity? I know why… more than likely it is because giving with meaning takes a little more effort. If you intend to give generously, give to someone who actually needs and deserves your gift!

Perhaps you concern yourself with the plight of the homeless… if that is so, then randomly giving out cash to folks who merely fit the description on the street amounts to patting yourself on the back and showing other people how kind you look. You want to help the homeless? Get some of your old clothes and blankets and coats and gloves and hats and so on. Buy some new ones if you need. Bring that to a homeless shelter or to your local church or synagogue. Volunteer some time there giving those folks soup, cleaning up the place, offer to do odd jobs or offer to pay someone to do repairs.

See a soldier or a cop or a fire fighter or someone from a rescue crew at a restaurant or a bar or a store… quietly buy a gift card and give it to the cashier or waiter before the person checks out. Tell the cashier or waiter or manager to give the person the gift card, or pay for their purchases completely. Send beverages to their base or headquarters or where ever these folks work… hot ones on cold nights or cold ones on hot afternoons.

See someone working late night during a big game? Maybe a telephone repairman is out fixing the cables in your neighborhood on a holiday. Don’t forget the folks braving the traffic as they fix your roads… in the rain or snow. They would enjoy the kindness of a grateful citizen or neighbor bringing a box of cookies, a six- or twelve-pack of drinks, or a gift certificate for a meal on their way home.

Random Acts of Kindness is for well-intentioned, empty-headed hippies. Purposeful generosity and meaningful gratitude makes much better use out of your time and your gift.

Wasting the Peoples' Time AND Money

2009-12-16T13:11:00.002-06:00

Are they insane?!?!?!

As mentioned in my previous post, of course they are, but this ain't because of puppy love or the ignorance of youth.

Irritated with loud commercials, the California Democrat found it was also a common complaint with the Federal Communications Commission. So she drafted a bill aimed at preventing TV ads from playing noticeably louder than the programs they sponsor.

(Emphasis mine.)

Of course it was a Democrat! Of course, I'll give you dollars to donuts there are more than enough RINOs getting on board so they can pander to the public.

The Monterey Herald features an editorial on this issue:

Loud commercials truly are one of life's annoyances. On a scale of 10, they rank a 2 or maybe even a 3. As far as nuisances go, they are almost as bad as commercials that are on too often, especially this time of year. Who among us does not know that every kiss begins with K?

But learning that there is legislation pending in Washington to regulate the volume of televised commercials is almost enough to send us searching for information on how to become Libertarians. As originally written by Palo Alto Congresswoman Anna Eshoo, the bill would have prescribed that the volume of TV ads be no louder than the average maximum loudness of the programs they were interrupting. She amended the language later to let the broadcast industry work out the details. What a relief!

The writer considers other "useful" legislative options should this one get pushed through:

· Food service: Waiters should not be allowed to cross the room in a restaurant without looking at the diners they are responsible for. First offense, felony.

· Toothbrushes advertised as "soft" should have to stay that way, statutorily.

· Our own congressman should introduce legislation requiring pharmacies to fill prescriptions within 10 minutes.

How about someone pass legislation requiring public servants read and comprehend the Constitution of the United States of America... and tested... often.

How about that?

However, even this massive turd has a silver lining... consider the damage the House and Senate CANNOT do because they spend their time on this jackassary.

Is it possible the whole world has gone mad?

2009-12-15T11:01:00.001-06:00

What a ridiculous question… that’s one of the states of mankind. It seems like we all go a bit mad now and again.

Youth experiences ongoing and persistent madness, at least from the perspective of adults… which sends parents over the edge with madness. Love makes madmen of us all, while unrequited love makes us insufferably loony. Just ask your friends from high school.

Al Gore doesn’t merely make his opponents crazy, he makes his own supporters crazy! Even folks who don’t have much time for AlGore but adhere to his wacky environmental proclamations seem at least a little bit off their heads.

James Cameron, director of That Damn Boat Movie, made a new sci-fi action film with eye-popping visual effects and a thinly veiled message about raping the planet… and spent more than any other film doing it.

A film. You know… celluloid with still images used to make moving pictures with incredibly bright lights and loud sounds in a large comfortable room surrounded by parked cars. And it plays in these rooms around twelve hours out of a 24-hour day.

Madness… madness!

Christmas Viewing

2009-12-01T12:08:00.002-06:00

One surefire way to get ready for Christmas: watch Christmas films or television programs. Unfortunately, considering some of the material, that’s also a surefire way to kill the Christmas spirit. Then again, so is Christmas shopping in crowds of mean spirited jackasses. Perhaps too much and too soon, especially in the wrong tone, should be a warning sign.

As a film and television fan, I love a night’s worth of entertainment with friends or family. Nothing beats cozying up on the couch with a sweet TV special or a fun movie… which is probably why so many specials and films come out with a Christmas theme or story. However, it’s easy to find something that merely uses Christmas as a setting or a backdrop and not as an element of the story, or the reason for the story.

British television seems to have a tradition of big deal productions on Christmas, but Christmas is only the vehicle. There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself… Only Fools and Horses is funny and enjoyable, Doctor Who is exciting and thrilling (especially Voyage of the Damned), but sometimes you want something with a stronger meaning. Something that does more than entertain.

As a kid I often resented the obligatory Christmas message in television programs. To be sure, I wasn’t ready for it, but also some of those shows probably could have used a bit more care in getting the message across.

You might group these shows and movies into three types:
• Real Christmas stories that relate to Jesus, God, and the religious message
• Family stories that involve people during Christmastime
• Peripheral stories like Santa, Rudolph, elves, the giving of presents, and so on

The real Christmas stories include The Nativity Story and probably A Christmas Carol or Scrooge, depending on the production.

For the second type, you can’t get much better than “A Christmas Story”. Say what you will about how often the movie gets played, but I’m very fond of this movie. The message was right there out in the open, winding its way to the end, but it used an endearing series of vignettes to get from the beginning to the end.

The peripheral stories, while a number of them are rather nostalgic, usually don’t amount to much. Folks who are not fans of Blackadder probably won’t find themselves watching Blackadder’s Christmas Carol. The classic Frosty the Snowman cartoon while cute, especially if you have children, doesn’t do much heavy lifting.

Speaking of that Frosty cartoon… Mitchell from Our Word comments on the idea that it might have a poor man’s version of Christ in the story. The next time you watch it, consider various story elements. While it conveniently leaves out, to my memory, any reference to Jesus and God, there are thematic similarities. Whether or not they are intended as references to Christ is for the writers and producers to tell you… but remember that Frosty sacrifices himself to prevent the little girl from freezing to death and Frosty also comes back after he melts. Read the Mitchell’s post… he even comments on an Old Testament connection in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, which features the same writer as the Frosty cartoon. It seems there is at least an argument to be made that the similarities are intentional.

All this makes me want to go over a number of films and shows I own or can get my hands on. “Elf” recently became a new Christmas favorite, in spite of the fact that it is merely a charming story that simply wears the trappings of Christmas… the Rankin-Bass parodies, Ed Asner’s Santa, and Bob Newhart really made it a pleasant surprise.

I’ll gladly take recommendations on what to watch, and chastisement on what I haven’t seen. I'm partial to George C. Scott in "A Christmas Carol" from 1984, Alastair Simm's "Scrooge" from 1951, and as a Saturday Night Live fan from the 70s I'm fond of Bill Murray in "Scrooged". The Christmas episodes and specials from Bless Me Father, Good Neighbors (The Good Life for those of you from the UK), Mr. Bean, To the Manor Born, and The Twilight Zone (an epsidoe featuring the brilliant Art Carney) likewise warm my heart.

I don't recall the episodes, but I found two Christmas episodes listed for The X-Files... and since I really enjoy the series I'm going to need to remind myself. I remember some kind of X-Files episode with Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin, but I don't know if it was one of those Christmas episodes.

The family watched a couple of scenes from the Doctor Who Christmas specials this past week... a great scene with a bride kidnapped in a London taxi cab (and the Doctor's fly-by rescue in his TARDIS), and an even better scene where a space-cruiseliner nearly crashes into Earth (specifically Buckinham Palace).

What's for this week? Your guess is as good as mine... but rest assured it won't be the Star Wars Holiday Special. ;)
Although, to be fair, Art Carney does quite well in that... he was a genius.

Thanksgiving: Harken Back to Days of Regular Posts

2009-11-27T10:40:00.002-06:00

Am I ever lazy.

I also heap praise upon myself.

Now to combine both of those statements by linking to one of my favorite posts... or more accurately, a link that leads you to a post that links to an earlier post. ;)

I cannot stand the use of the phrase Turkey Day when someone means Thanksgiving. It doesn't keep me up at nights, but as I told my blogging friend Kermit it is at best a cutesy vocal abreviation, most likely a misunderstanding of the holiday, or at worst an intentional corruption of the real meaning behind Thanksgiving.

May the rest of your weekend bring you peace and rest as well as great memories of your recent Thanksgiving gathering. For now, I return to work and perhaps to brew up ideas for future posts.

What a Difference a Few Years Makes

2009-11-11T13:05:00.002-06:00

I remember a few years ago when folks publicly denounced the Bush (43) administration, likeminded commentators, and their supporters.

These days, I see folks publicly denouncing folks who disagree with the Obama administration, likeminded commentators, and their supporters.

How the world changes.

Gift of Youth

2009-10-27T13:03:00.002-05:00

Recently my mother gave me the nostalgic gift of old photos.

What a scrawny little shit. He's going to enjoy seeing me closer to his age, though.

She also gave me a lock of hair when my uncle gave me my first haircut. My hair is now much darker (although, much lighter in some spots), but it matches his quite well.

That kid in the photos sure seems a world away. I remember some of the occasions, a few with a bit more detail.

Not long ago, I saw my dad show a few old photos to one of his long-time friends... he goes over more detail with them. It isn't that he doesn't want to tell me anything. I think he considers it too boastful to tell me how he flew planes, what he did in college, how he started out his adulthood, and those sorts of stories. I suspect it also has something to do with an uncertainty in how to deal with people from a generation away.

Sometimes I feel the same way with my nephew. What do I tell him? I remember being his age and not knowing what to say to my older relatives. I usually still feel that way. I also remember when I was my nephew's age... when my parents were so terminally uncool. I don't want to say too much. I don't want to say too little. I don't want to be too serious. I don't want to be to cavalier.

For once I should no shut up. ;)

Things I'm Supposed to Hate, But Don't: Anti-Strib

2009-05-18T15:04:00.003-05:00

("Supposed to Hate, But Don't" idea taken from Shot in the Dark.)

Some blog-readers know the Anti-Strib, the long-running Minnesota blog that takes the Minneapolis Star-Tribune to task and covers a variety of other topics. If you know the Anti-Strib, you know that doesn't quite give you a full description.

If I remember right, Mitch at Shot in the Dark affectionately described the Anti-Strib's writers as a bunch of plate-throwers. That's certainly a colorful description, and one that isn't far from the mark. I know... I used to contribute to the Anti-Strib, and I wasn't the only writer who enjoyed poking at targets with a stick. Some of the commenters also enjoyed "plate-throwing"... not all of them on the same political side as the Anti-Strib writers.

Apparently, the Anti-Strib is going dark. That's going to bring a cheer to a number of the writers and employees of the Star-Tribune, Nick Coleman probably the first and the loudest.

A certain number of Anti-Strib "readers" are joyously commenting that the Anti-Strib is coming to an end.

That's all they ever wanted... to silence a voice of opposition.

Yeah, sure... a number of Republican and conservative bloggers consider the Anti-Strib to be a bit charged and vulgar. Tracy, the guy behind the blog and one of the main contributors, considers his original intentions (that you pretty much let anyone comment in almost any way, shape, or form for the sake of encouraging discussion) might be the reason that comments have gone overboard and subjects to vere away from the main topic.

The site is known for writers and commentors to both carry on heated exchanges regardless of the subject at hand. For this reason, folks might sneer if you say you read the Anti-Strib. I suspect we're supposed to dislike the Anti-Strib.

I just can't.

Part of it is that I used to write for and with those guys. To a certain extent, I know some of them personally and find them enjoyable folks.

It isn't that we all come from the same mind, because we clearly didn't... anyone who read a number of posts and comments could find that out.

Too many readers simply didn't get that part of it. They came to the blog with a fairly well cemented opinion that such plate-throwing conservatives were assholes and hate-filled and addressed their own misunderstanding of our posts... and those folks stayed! They often came back... with different names to try to hide that fact.

The original goal of Tracy's blog was to point out the journalistic failings and bias of the Star-Tribune. An easy task. We loved to highlight Nick Coleman's blathering and meandering columns... however, we were quick to point out when he had something we really enjoyed. We did that for other pieces in the Strib, too.

Steering away from that goal allowed the blog to grow, but it seems like that might have been a long-term mistake. It was the reason Anti-Strib stood out from the other local blogs.

Another slightly unique policy... Tracy's "keep your mouth shut when it comes to a commentor's family" stand. Insult the writers and commentors all you want, but if someone said anything about wifes, husbands, kids, etc.... your comment was deleted. I believe that stance was intended to remind visitors and writers that certain topics are off-limits and stray too far from the topic. Maybe that didn't work... but maybe it kept things going as long as they did.

For the most part, Tracy and Sequel and Kermit and Jim have taken a lot of heat for their opinions... as well as for their smart alec methods. Their critics seem to mostly come from the school of thought that believes conservatives are heartless, hate-filled bigots with no education, a mean-spirited attitude, and a desire to destroy.

Yeah, we kill puppies, too.

These critics didn't want a conversation. They didn't like the loyal opposition shooting-from-the-hip and telling beligerant commentors to "Go get your shinebox!" They were offended by the very thought that someone on the Right might disagree.

I'm taking note that this is occurring during the Obama Administration. I certainly don't blame the President... but I blame some of his supporters.

Wrong Time for Radio

2009-04-20T13:05:00.000-05:00

Maybe I don’t get it. The subject for discussion on Chris Baker’s radio show, at the time I tuned in, was video games. Violence in video games comes up now and again. Baker mentioned something about addictions and video games and I braced for the inevitable. He might have veered into first-person-shooters eventually, however this time he mentioned something called Second Life. I heard about it probably two years ago… and it was old then.

Second Life puts characters online to interact socially with other players. I guess it is like World of Warcraft without the warcraft. I suspect I might enjoy it, but it does sound a bit creepy. Regardless, this topic is a bit like going over the Olympics… very old news.

What’s on KSTP? Prebil and Murphy, replacements for Bod Davis, don’t offer much in the way of interesting discussion. Oh, they were talking about taxes, and but one of them (or both, I couldn’t tell) referenced an earlier caller. The caller claimed increased taxes pose a blow against freedom. Either Prebil or Murphy or both apparently asked the caller “How?” and the caller stumbled and said “Um, ah, ur”. Either Prebil or Murphy (if there is a difference) used that as evidence that the caller was wrong.

Of course, that would make most of what comes out of the mouths of Prebil and Murphy incorrect, since that’s the lion’s share of their broadcast commentary.

Either Prebil, or Murphy, then went on to say that if taxes are raised on a guy who makes $400K annually and he can’t make it, he doesn’t feel too bad for Mr. 400K.

Talk about trying to avoid the point.

It makes me long for the merely unlistenable Barbara Carlson. These guys make Jesse Ventura look insightful.

Back Again

2009-04-17T13:27:00.001-05:00

From beyond the dead, a post rises from the desolate blog. Symbolically, I suppose Spring works as a time to come back and write something.

Subjects come and go for me, and I’ve been way out of practice for a while. Certainly, some of this comes from other people and other blogs addressing topics much better than I manage. Not only that, but after two years of political overload those topics seem less interesting. Work also keeps me pretty busy, so my time gets eaten up, so I really need to gin up the interest to write about anything. Too many ideas seem banal, too.

With that in mind, I’ll write about my recent bout of nostalgia.

Over the last couple of months, dozens of old friends, classmates, and coworkers popped out of the woodwork. Folks I’ve not talked to in years found me and it feels like I am young again. Not that I’m old.

Last night I met up with some friends that I don’t see often, but I usually get a chance to see them a couple of times each year. These were friends I originally met in elementary school and high school. One moved out of state years ago, but he occasionally returns and it feels like he’s only been gone for a couple of weeks. All of us are good natured smartasses. A couple of bucks for beer and bar food is nothing for a couple of hours with those folks. A steak and several cocktails would be cheap to spend time with them, but as I’m a little tight right now I’m glad it was less expensive.

Earlier this month I got together with the other Three Musketeers to see our dear friend the Aging D’Artangnan. Over Christmas, I found a movie on DVD that he’d mentioned many times… a comedy from when he was younger that he really enjoyed. He waited four months to watch it with us. Perhaps a different style than we were used to, but we enjoyed watching “Miss Tatlock’s Millions” with old D’Artangnan. He, too, is one of those guys you can just hang out with for hours. Many times, we stay up past one in the morning talking, drinking, smoking, and talking more. All the old stories of our Gold Plated Years come back. These days, we’re more than a little aware of his time. None of us want to admit that he might go sometime. We might have him for many years to come, or not, but we don’t want to miss our chances.

Holiday, Vacation, Torture

2008-11-25T18:15:00.002-06:00

We begin our season of goodwill, humility, family, reverence, solemnity, and good cheer. How? With a family vacation… guaranteed to raise tempers, test patience, and dampen the mood at least once.

I love my family, as most people love their families. I wouldn’t trade them for anyone else… mostly using the theory “better Devil you know”. Aside from that, they are good folks. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t see an annoying argument, a bad mood, a conflict of schedules, or a disagreement on plans as a distinct possibility. There will also be the extra long wait at the airport… both to and from home. The flight itself might get annoying, too. Who am I kidding? It definitely will get annoying.

In addition to that “glass half-empty” view, I also have another reason to grimace. Regardless of how long or short the trip lasts, vacations always run one day too many for me. I love my home. I appreciate my weekly routine. I want the luxury of my bed, my stuff, and my local options. I even enjoy the weather. So, that last day is utterly wasted. I don’t want to be in the Not Home place… I want my ass home.

Of course I want to get away for a while, especially over a holiday like Thanksgiving. A few days of warm temperatures and some steady sun ought to give me a little boost. I just look forward to getting home. Why bother taking a vacation in the first place? You really appreciate your surroundings when you get home.

If you hate your home town then why are you merely taking a vacation as opposed to moving out? You know the types… folks who love to complain, bitterly, about the weather, about their family, about their job, about their neighbors. Get the Hell out of Dodge, dumbass. Hell, just move across town, just out of town, to another county, or even to another state… anywhere but in the place you so desperately hate.

In any case, I’m getting some time away. The Boy comes with, which ought to be wonderful on the whole balance… because we’re going to a Disney theme park. Let’s face it, he’s going to bust a vein in his forehead. I don’t even need to do anything, just watch him and take pictures.

Yet, I’m just a kid at heart and can’t wait to see what is new. Hopefully, there’s a Pixar tribute somewhere in the joint. There’s an Indiana Jones stunt demonstration that my wife and I saw several years ago… whether it is still there, updated, or trimmed down we want to see it again.

I’m certain that my most treasured moment may come to a premature end by the sudden change of mood by the Boy when he realizes that it is time to leave and go back to the hotel… or worse, go back home.

That cannot occupy my attention the whole time… I’d never enjoy anything that way. I might as well just brace for “impact” from my parents, my sister, my wife, or even my nephew. That’s no way to live. It’s certainly no way to vacation.

Back From the Dead

2008-11-11T15:34:00.002-06:00

Months go by with a major election in the forefront of peoples’ minds (or at least not entirely pushed to the back of peoples’ attentions) and nary a peep from a big-mouthed wop. All of August, September, October, Halloween, Election Day, and the first third of November.

Either that shows amazing restraint upon my part or amazing irresponsibility on my part as a blogger. Let’s call it both.

Thanks to our veterans and soldiers serving abroad.

“Sergeant, you’re out of uniform!”

“Sir, yes, sir! I’m following orders, sir!”

“What the Hell kind of orders are you talking about, soldier?”

“I’m serving a broad, sir.”

“You’ll knock off the smart-ass bullshit if you know what’s good for you. Now drop and give me twenty!”

“With respect, sir, should I start over or continue where I left off?”

Veterans and soldiers serving at home and overseas… my gratitude and thanks.

In any case, I enjoyed a remarkable summer, worked with my Old Man a little, spent time with The Boy, goaded a foaming left-leaner with whom I am acquainted, visited folks from high school, saw some faces I haven’t seen in many years, and voted.

The campaigns finally finished. We know our next President. While his general policies and ideas don’t bring me much rest, the fact that we know the results brings a certain peace of mind.

I can’t help but think back four and eight years ago when certain left-leaners went bonkers and took leave of their senses… Sore losers wanted nothing to do with W, going so far as to use “Not My President” as a slogan. About four yeas ago, one of my very good friends likened one of Bush 43’s administration as a guy who licks poop from Cheney’s ass. In spite of his less than sterling political analysis, he really is a good guy.

What about now? Should I get behind a little turnabout? Surely, posting a “November 6, 2012” bumper-sticker would be comparable. Maybe emphasize the word Mister when saying “Mister Obama”?

Aside from sounding like a petulant high school jackass, I wouldn’t say that because the man will become my President starting on Inauguration Day. Period.

We’re Americans, damn it. Folks need to drop this childish nonsense. This isn’t like voting for Prom Queen. This is the Presidency of the United States of America. Vote or don’t vote, but the guy’s our President starting January 20th next year.

Apparently, we have some dissenters on my side of the aisle who already declared words that essentially say Senator Obama will not be their President. That attitude is simply anti-American.

I suspect a good percentage of those folks merely want to voice their opposition in the strongest possible terms. To be honest, saying the guy isn’t your President for those reasons is like calling someone a racist or a fascist who isn’t either a racist or a fascist. What happens when someone comes along who fits the bill? You’ve already watered down the requirements for declaring a President-Elect to not be your President.

Grow some stones, jackasses. We’ve got standards… and we’re going to show the eternally offended folks from the party that clings to tolerance and diversity (as long as it suits their agenda) what the words Loyal Opposition means.

Guilty Admission: Yogurt

2008-07-31T10:38:00.002-05:00

Folks at Caribou Coffee... just so you know (not that you read blogs, much less my blog), the blueberries in your yogurt are suuub-standard. Not that they need to be fresh, but they were almost chewy. I believe the outer skin was replaced with something akin to a gummi-bear... and not in a good way.

Uh, yeah, I like yogurt. Even before I started eating The Boy's baby yogurt. (That pear yogurt is brilliant!) I really went to town on the custard-style yogurt... either vanilla, raspberry, or peach.

Uh, yeah, in case anyone is wondering, I've eaten quiche before, too.

Ely Six Update

2008-07-18T10:01:00.003-05:00

Thanks to a couple of kind visitors who have regularly commented on the subject (and often provided me with links), we now have the beginning of the end to last year’s story of the Ely Six jackasses. According to one commenter, Jay Olson may get sentenced in August, however, the so-called ring leader (or dork leader or alpha-moron) now pleads guilty, but to lesser charges.

Fifth man in BWCAW shooting spree pleads guilty
[....]

Lakner pleaded guilty to felony aiding and abetting terroristic threats; felony aiding and abetting harassment with a firearm; felony aiding and abetting possession of an assault rifle by a minor; misdemeanor aiding and abetting theft; and misdemeanor reckless discharge of a firearm.

Judge Kenneth Sandvik accepted the plea. State statutes call for a mandatory minimum sentence of at least three years in a state prison for the felony firearms charge, although exceptions can be made.

(Courtesy: Duluth News Tribune online)

His sentencing is set for August 11... and apart from that detail, that pretty much wraps up this case.

I hope they all straighten up. You've got to hope they straighten up. The kids probably shamed their families, and certainly worried them. What parent wouldn't be worried after hearing their kid used weapons to terrorize a bunch of Earth-muffins?

This makes me wonder if one or more of those guys don't have their fathers actively in their lives. Purely an assumption, one that would rankle any or all of the fathers. But these kids, for they are barely adults and seem to have displayed none of the judgment and maturity that usually goes with adulthood, were running around with (apparently) an unrelated man in his mid/late-thirties. Sure, I could be wrong, but that smacks of guys in search of a father figure.

And that adult male was unfortunately a guy who thought it would be a good idea to get drunk (on bad beer), boat around, shoot off guns, destroy someone else's property, threaten strangers, and generally terrorize campers.

Talk about the blind leading the blind. At least those kids can claim ignorance through youth.

Carlin

2008-06-23T14:42:00.003-05:00

Wishful thinking, faith, and a few liberties:

George Carlin: "What in the Hell am I doing here?!?!?!

Voice: "Heart failure, George."

George Carlin: "No shit, asshole. I know... I went to the hospital and died. Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

Voice: It's always the New York City, Irish tough guys.

George Carlin: "Did you say something?"

Voice: "Ahem... sorry, just clearing my throat."

George Carlin: "That's what I thought, asshole."

Voice: "George, you can let your guard down a little now. You are amongst friends. Everything will start to become clear now."

George Carlin: "Jesus Christ, already I get it, man. I know who you are, I know where I am, and I know I'm dead! That's not it. This place isn't supposed to exist, and even if it did what in the fuck am I doing here?"

Voice: "Makes a nice change from the view of Jersey, doesn't it?"

George Carlin: "Well, yeah, it ain't bad."

Voice: "Don't just peek through the gates, walk on in."

George Carlin: "Look, asshole, this place just isn't for me... plus I don't want to go in simply on principle. I don't belong there."

Voice: "I can assure you that you most certainly do belong here. In fact, I have a job for you, my son."

George Carlin: "And I've got no time for all of your patriarchal bullshit."

Voice: "Actually, George, you have plenty of time for all of my, as you say, patriarchal bullshit."

George Carlin: "And how in the fuck did that jerkoff get here?"

Voice: "He did plenty of behind the scenes work, and I've always been partial to That's Life. He knows how to close a show, too. Dean hasn't been able to golf as much since he showed up... some parts of Frank will never change."

George Carlin: "Yeah, man, but that's all of those boring stiffs. Guys in suits trying to all be the same, laughing at shit they don't even understand... they're part of the problem, man."

Voice: "Then simply come in and show them, George. You have something to offer everyone... but we all have a little something for you as well."

George Carlin: "Fuck this Kumbiya shit!"

Voice: "George, please."

George Carlin: "I knew all you religious types would want to shut us up."

Voice: "No, George... swear all you like, if it pleases you. What I mean to say is that I hate that damn Kumbiya shit as well. Here, have one of these and relax."

George Carlin: "What do you mean, you have beer in this place?"

Voice: "Benjamin Franklin was right about a good number of things. Excuse me if I only have one, some of the boys are meeting up at Jilly's and, uh, Frank still expects a good turnout if you know what I mean."

George Carlin: "Don't cut this short and weasel out on me, asshole. I mean, I've got a few things I want to get clear with you, man."

Voice: "I know... your wife, the Middle East, wars, cancer, hunger, hurricanes, and everything. Look, George, I promise you will hear all about it. It will of course take some time to explain it all... but let's get one thing clear. I am glad to answer your questions, but I don't answer to you. I do this because I love you."

George Carlin: "Again with the patriarchal bullshit. Do you mind?"

Voice: "Yes. But since you've mentioned it, let me put it to you this way... you've always been a determined man. I respect that about you. You're clever, but not as much as you think. You're sincere. Once I make all of this clear, you'll be a positive boon. Not only that, but I've always loved that one from Parental Advisory-Explicit Lyrics. The long one."

George Carlin: "Get the fuck outta here!"

Voice: "It's true. Moses prefers Baseball and Football, though. I think John Paul II just started reading your book about The Boy and pork chops... what was the title? Never mind."

George Carlin: "Bullshit, you're just trying to butter me up."

Voice: "George, I can assure you that this is not bullshit, as you say. I've had some very angry, very bitter people arrive with quite a lot of material to cover. How do you think Jefferson reacted? That took some time, I can tell you. Don't get me wrong, I love a good long discussion and a lively argument. You'd be surprised how lively and entertaining Buckley is, George. I actually think you're going to like him. Speaking of your fans, Lenny's going to want your signature."

George Carlin: "Okay, okay, okay... I'll come in. Just don't ask me any of your damn favors."

Voice: "While you're here, I don't suppose you'd mind doing a solid 45 minutes for your Inaugural Performance, would you? It's the Copa Room."

George Carlin: "I said no fucking favors."

Voice: "It isn't a favor to me, I assure you. I think Mr. Kaye would like to see your shtick... is that the word?"

George Carlin: "Do you gotta warm-up act ready?"

Voice: "As I understand it, a number of hats were thrown into the ring... Mr. Korman is available, but there are more senior members who have requested the honor. Mr. Carson, Mr. Bishop, a junior member named Mr. Hedberg."

George Carlin: "He wasn't bad."

Voice: "No, he's actually quite good, but I much preferred his material the first time I saw it when he was called Steven Wright. Ha, ha! Do you see. You've already got me in the spirit."

George Carlin: "Who else?"

Voice: "Mr. Belushi said he'd do 15 minutes for you, so did Mr. Berle."

George Carlin: "Either of them would end up taking over the fucking stage."

Voice: "What about Mr. Dangerfield?"

George Carlin: "I don' know. Tell you what, surprise me."

Voice: "Excellent, George. I have you down for two hours from now."

George Carlin: "Say, why the fuck have you been doing a James Mason impression?"

Voice: "Oh, sorry... I finally got a chance to see Eddie Izzard."

I suspect that might annoy a number of George Carlin fans... and George, too. Which is in the spirit of George's material and his personality.

To write about George Carlin, especially in death, requires an obligatory mention of his list of Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television… which long since evolved into an Incomplete List of Impolite Words. It is like knowing Rush for “Tom Sawyer” or Led Zeppelin for “Stairway to Heaven” or Monty Python for “The Knights Who Say Ni”.

I’d just as soon as skip all that, especially since his career is so much greater than his funny indecency routine.

In the past 20 years, Carlin’s done a number of interesting performances… his material shifted much more radically into well-focused rants and bilious observations. Some of them were even funny. He also narrated a few seasons of Thomas the Tank Engine on television and voiced a character in a Disney movie (Fillmore from Pixar’s “Cars”).

You can forgive the man his move to more caustic diatribes and vicious sneering jabs that fill his comedy sets from the last, I don’t know, seven to ten years. His wife died in 1997. Their daughter mentioned it on a biography of Carlin. For such a counter-culture, “anti-establishment” (whatever that means anymore) guy he seems very conventional for a celebrity… at least in the respect that he was married to the same woman for that long, and only separated by death.

Taking a trip in the Way-Back Machine, a good friend of mine from fifth or sixth grade introduced me to George Carlin. Luke loved goofy humor, probably because his dad seemed to really enjoy that kind of humor. Within a matter of a few years we saw his return to HBO with his live Carnegie Hall comedy concert. He was a little mature for us, which made watching a little rebellious. Back in those days, you couldn’t see comedians like that doing their real material, at least not without toning down the language… sure he made numerous appearances on Johnny Carson’s show, but on HBO we saw him unfiltered.

Not that Carlin needed to be unfiltered to make you laugh… plenty of his routines were hilarious and needed no colorful elaborations. “Baseball and Football”, “A Place For Your Stuff”, observations on his dog(s), “Wonderful WINO”, the news, “Fussy Eater”, “Euphemisms”, and so on. That said, when you are twelve you’re still trying to figure out what is actually mature and what is simply vulgar… and one passes for the other in some cases.

Another trip in the Way-Back Machine, working in the newsroom and
an older coworker from a number of years back surprised the Hell out of me when he made a George Carlin reference. From that time on we had a comedic bond and regularly enjoyed a few good Carlin lines. My coworker was one of the anchors, which made it seem all the more funny… a guy folks do not look to for a sense of humor enjoying such an irreverent comedian, especially one known for using broadcasting as a source for some of his routines. A real joy. I miss those days.

In fact, the first person I thought of after hearing the news of Carlin’s death was my anchor. The second person I thought of was Al Sleet.

Senator Up-Talk: That’s Not Change We Can Believe In

2008-06-04T12:40:00.001-05:00

Do, or do not... there is no try.
That’s not delivery in which we can believe, Senator.

Apparently desperate for a theme, Senator McCain regularly ended sections of his speech with, “That’s not change we can believe in.” Not bad. Looks good on paper, but the way he delivered the line was sing-songy and he ended it with “up talk”. His inflection on the final word always sounded like a question. It reminded me of Morghane Q.E. Wolfe-Slattery, Euphorian?

“That’s not change we can believe in?”

It makes him sound like a man inexperienced in the field of public speaking. It would sound better if he said, “That NOT change we can believe in.” Definitively end the sentence and the paragraph, Senator.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Olson and MU Update

2008-06-03T11:48:00.003-05:00

BWCAW shooter: ‘I may have ruined my life forever’
Update from Ely

Present:Another kid from the Ely Six pleads guilty… Jay Andrew Olson.

…one felony count of aiding and abetting terroristic threats; one felony count of aiding and abetting harassment with a firearm; two gross misdemeanor counts of criminal damage to property; one misdemeanor count of possession of stolen property; and one misdemeanor count of reckless discharge of a firearm.

Young mister Olson appears to show remorse, which is good.

…calling it “by far’’ the worst day of his life and saying he behaved “terribly.’’ He said he drove a boat with two other suspects for several hours on Basswood Lake that night, with the group firing an AK-47 rifle and mortar-like fireworks and harassing campers while drinking beer.

Now, if the news story is correct in suggesting that Olson claimed it was the worst day of his life, he should have chosen a different set of words. More accurately, he contributed to what might be the worst day of his victim’s lives. I suspect, based on what we’ve now read, he knows that.

While he said he never intended to harm anyone, he said he did intend to annoy them and understands now why many campers said they feared for their lives.

“I scared a lot of people … and I may have ruined my life forever,’’ Olson said in the courtroom.

Hell, Jay, we can sympathize with that sentiment. A number of the Earth-Muffin crowd is extremely annoying and I love the idea of annoying them right back… but not with a gun. Especially in the dark. And most definitely not with some punk-assed, loud-mouthed, jumped-up, snot-nosed, 16 year old drunk on crappy beer who thinks he’s the Ron effing Jeremy of Ely.

This kid probably did ruin his life forever. Then again, considering the crowd he apparently associates with this colossal mistake might have just saved his life.

Future:Still to come… Barney Lakner, since his lawyer arranged for another delay.

…faces a jury trial as early as September. Lakner was scheduled for a court appearance Monday, but that was postponed at his attorney’s request, one of several of such delays. Judge Sandvik ordered Lakner to appear June 16 and said no additional delays would be allowed without his approval.

We also have a name to go with MU. (Happy Birthday, jackass.)

…Matthew Bernard Urbas of Ely, now 17, is awaiting trial in the case. Urbas, who was 16 at the time of the incident, is being handled in juvenile court but his case is open to the public because he is charged with felony crimes.

Urbas faces 23 felony, gross misdemeanor and misdemeanor charges stemming from the incident. His trial and sentence will be handled as if he is an adult. In court documents obtained Monday, Urbas told law enforcement officers after his arrest that he had been drinking and that the group harassed the campers by firing weapons and swearing at them in an effort at “defending his territory’’ — meaning the BWCAW —against people who were “taking it away.’’

Defending the territory? From what? This is the kid, at least according to the statements made in the criminal complaint, who stated to a young woman that he was going to bury his c*ck in her for three hours. Apparently, Matthew Urbas wants to protect Ely from girls, cooties, and p*ssy… and he plans to protect Ely through prolonged sexual penetration.

That’s sarcasm, Urbas… but it sounds like the gal and her father considered that a threat of rape. Can you blame them? Besides, you wouldn’t know what to do with a Suzy if you got one in the mail.

Past:See the archives.

Three other suspects, who arrived on Basswood Lake later and joined the group after the incident had started, were sentenced last month after pleading guilty to lesser charges in exchange for agreeing to testify against others in the case.

See the Criminal Complaint.

Zachary Ross Barton, 19, pleaded guilty to one count of felony aiding and abetting terroristic threats and one misdemeanor count each of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption of alcohol…

Casey James Fenske, 19, pleaded guilty to one felony count of aiding and abetting terroristic threats, a gross misdemeanor for criminal damage to property and a misdemeanor charge of reckless discharge of a firearm…

Travis John Erzar, 20, pleaded guilty to a felony count of aiding and abetting terroristic threats and a misdemeanor count of underage consumption of alcohol…

Don Pardo, tell them what they won:

All were banned from the BWCAW for three years.

[...]

…Barton will serve 20 days in a local jail and three years’ probation on the felony charge.

…Fenske will serve at least nine months at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center or a similar facility and will be on probation for three years. He also will pay restitution for damage he inflicted on a federal water level-gauging station on Basswood Lake in an earlier incident.

…Erzar will serve no jail time but will serve three years of probation on the felony charge. The felony will be reduced to a misdemeanor in Erzar’s court record if he serves the probation without problem.

Kids, I have some advice for you. Do you time, don't complain (not even to sympathetic ears in Ely), straighten out Matthew Urbas (because he's going to ruin his life if you don't), distance yourself from Lakner (besides from the reason that it is kind of creepy), keep your nose clean, get through college, do some charity work... all that.

Folks will remember this, but if you simply deal with it in a mature manner and you should be fine.

Like my father-in-law says, you boys just grew up. Not on August 7, 2007... you're forced to grow up now to take your lumps. It is the long-game strategy.

Susan Sarandon Whines: "I'll run away from home"

2008-05-30T16:09:00.001-05:00

Isn't it a little *early* for these leaving the country lies?

From The New York Post:

SUSAN SARANDON, who appeared in three films last year and won kudos for her TV movie "Bernard and Doris," is still not a contented soul. She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."

You’ve had more than seven years to move to Italy or Canada, Susan, why the wait?

What’s more, considering the opposition a number of conservatives and Republicans have with Sen. McCain (on whether or not he’s conservative or Republican enough, as opposed to his tendency to work too much with Democrats and liberals) I would have thought she’d be more willing to “suffer” through four years of a McCain administration, or at least test the waters first.

OK, American people. You don't want Susan to move out of the country, so it's up to you to elect Barack Obama. What? You thought Susan of all people would be for Hillary Clinton? Well, no. She told John Hiscock: "I thought the whole point of feminism is that you're not supposed to be defined by gender. I don't understand the reasoning behind that, because I wouldn't vote for Condoleezza Rice, and I hated Margaret Thatcher."

Of course you simply wouldn't vote for Condoleezza. We could have *guessed* that you hate, HATE!, Margaret Thatcher.

This attitude tells me Susan Sarandon doesn’t want a united political landscape, she seethes with hate for the opposition, or she simply likes the attention.

Socialism and Environmentalism

2008-05-19T22:08:00.004-05:00

I just learned some old news. I didn’t know when I was well off.

Driving to work this morning I saw a Prius with a websiste and another logo stenciled on the back. Hourcar. The Our stood out with darker lettering. How sweet… a socialist bent. It called to mind the Yellow Bicycle idea that St. Paul used with community bikes.

Yellow Bicycle program
Yellow Bike program

Hmmm. The name might not mean shared property. Perhaps it is a market driven idea using a socialist idea to promote the concept. You know… rental by the hour.

Oh, were that the case.

(I'm probably WAY behind the curve on this.)

This is a car sharing project by a non-profit outfit. Apparently, it saves you thousands of dollars. (So does not buying a house.) Apparently, you should think of it as “go-anywhere transit”. (As long as you eventually reach an Hourcar hub.) Apparently, you can protect the environment. (With a Prius, which some contest is a bit “harmful” in the manufacturing.)

They compel visitors to the website:

Join Us!

I see Kevin McCarthy running down a busy highway.

Just see Part of the Solution to see “What’s Your Vision for the Future?”

Would you prefer a Smiley Face on your Air Quality Index or a Frowny Face? Would you prefer a flock of birds soaring over a lake or a bird covered in oil (EVIL oil, I tells you!) and much? Would you prefer a hazy Minneapolis skyline or a crisp and clean skyline? (I suspect the pictures might have been simply taken at different times of the day.) Would you prefer a lovely green park just outside Minneapolis (in view of the skyline) or some construction yard with noisy and dirty construction vehicles?

According to their website, hOURcar was founded by the nonprofit Neighborhood Energy Connection.

Apparently, they offer “tools” for energy-efficient living. I suspect you can’t pick up those tools at your neighborhood hardware store.

Ten Years On

2008-05-14T12:52:00.002-05:00

Sitting at the news room, I wrote some stories for the day’s events… a reader, a few VOs, a couple of VO-SOTs (if I was lucky). Whatever else happened one announcement overshadowed the rest. American legend Frank Sinatra died following a heart attack at age 82. I’m certain the announcement didn’t come on May 14th. For big public figures it seems the news comes out from a press agent or a publicist after the family gets their time alone.

At the time I was as much a Sinatra fan as anyone else my age. You tend to hear a few tunes from the man in an Italian family, as a DJ, and during the crooner/big band/swing/classic revival. It was just like when we lost Ray and Johnny Cash… you knew these guys were legends with no equal. Growing up it was simply taken for granted that we had Frank. We lost Heston last month, but ten years ago we lost Sinatra.

Since that time I’ve read a couple of books on Frank and his guys, seen some of his films, and listened to a number of recordings. Hell, this guy wasn’t simply a singer with a long career. He had stories, failures, comebacks, friends, blow-ups, films, charities, scandals, tirades, plenty of personality, and lot of hubris. Frank could act, sing, do a little dancing, charm the ladies, make men envious, throw a fit, hold a grudge, fund a hospital or church, pay off your bills… and make it all look like it was all part of his plan.

Frank was the pop star before the Beatles, Elvis, and Madonna… before there were pop stars. He was Hollywood’s bad boy before Sean Penn, Mickey Rourke, and Russell Crowe. He was pals with some of the biggest names be they from politics, sports, singers, writers, comedians, or actors… he had Sammy, Dean, Basie, Jones, Riddle, Jobim, Bogart, Monroe, Gardner, Gleason, Kennedy, Reagan, Rickles, Carson, and of course Sam and Lucky. The world really was Frank’s playground… Dean even half-joked on stage, “It’s your world, I’m just livin’ in it.”

The world’s a little less cool without Frank. He had the American spirit… probably by the tail. He was one of those Americans who embodied the American Dream. Scrawny little Dago from Jersey grows up and gets the world on a string (sittin’ on a rainbow). During his life he learned the meaning of the word success from learning the word failure… and he didn’t let failure get in the way. He represents all kinds of folks… down on your luck and top of the world, young and old, struggling and carefree, back against the wall and everyone watching your back.

If you can’t learn about America from school, history books, and documentaries… you can learn a lot about it from Frank Sinatra.

Some more nice pictures of Frank.

For Christ's sake, the man's got his own stamp!

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Barney Lakner Update (May)

2008-05-02T11:57:00.002-05:00

A brief update on the Ely Six. Essentially, we have more waiting. Not much on the kid (MU in the criminal complaint... the Star-Tribune had it).

Take a moment to review the newspaper stories and the criminal complaint… specifically, the way the “kids” allegedly threatened to have sex with one of the camper’s daughters, which was seen as unwanted

Evidently, they wanted to bore her to death. (I bet this kid could "interfere" with an olive without disturbing the pimento.)

(Courtesy: Duluth News Tribune… and commenter "Observer")

County attorney wants two Basswood shooting suspects tried together

Barney James Lakner, 37, of Ely appeared in Lake County District Court Tuesday but made no formal plea and has been rescheduled to appear again June 2.

Lake County Attorney Russ Conrow signaled at today’s hearing that he wants to try Lakner and another man, Jay Andrew Olson, 19, also of Ely, together. It’s likely both trials will take 10 days each, considered a huge block of Lake County courtroom time, Conrow said, and each will require potentially dozens of the same witnesses to testify.

[...]

“It would be a huge expense to do this twice. There are a lot of witnesses. ... A lot of people [who were threatened] want to be part of this,’’ Conrow said after today’s brief court hearing.

Olson’s attorney, David Keegan of Duluth, likely will reply to the formal request to join the two trials at a May 12 hearing. Lakner’s attorney will formally respond on June 2. Olson has pleaded not guilty. Keegan was not immediately available to comment today.

A trial or trials probably would be held later this year.

Peev, You Ignorant Slut

2008-04-22T11:18:00.002-05:00

I should have taken more time with this post, but what are you going to do? Maybe I'll add to it later. ;)

A little post from Mitch at Shot in the Dark regarding Instant Runoff Voting in St. Paul and its opposition.

Inevitably, Peev comes in with his size-twelves and a sack full of imitation leather bound books (when a simple sentence or two would suffice) and vomits all over the comment section.

I feel a limmerick coming on:

“O’Rourke next week!” shouts Mitch.
Then Peev comes in to bitch.
In wanders Badda
Saying, “Peev… yadda, yadda,
You feel just like an itch."

I take great joy at quoting one of his (many) sentences, “…I don’t think complicating things is best,” and letting him know that we we’ll try to bear that in mind.

Then the serious comment.

Peev says, “…your claim that this is the ‘radical left’ is just so much BS. Care to prove your claim that it’s only the radical left that’s pushing this?”

Mitch didn’t insist that only the radical left was behind this. That’s all. I suggested that Peev might be correct in that you’ve got moderates behind Instant Runoff Voting and that Mitch may also be correct in that there’s a push for this from the radical left.

I add that you can’t take Peev to seriously when he tries to identify conservatives, radical leftists, moderates, etc. because he describes those ideologies in a ham-fisted manner. Especially, conservatives.

Peev responds:

“I can pretty easily tell moderate Republicans from extremists. Moderates will have a free and open debate, extremists (in the manner of Hitler and Stalin both) call the middle the other extreme and breed hatred for anyone who isn’t ‘them’. I’m sure you’ve never seent that tactic here, right? Flash has commented that this is what this blog has devolved to many times, so you don’t need to take my word for it.”

Okay… in describing conservatism, moderate and extreme, he conjures up the names of Hitler and Stalin. When I point that out, he claims he wasn’t speaking about extremist conservatism. Fine. He provided another example why he’s a ham-fisted commenter… and perhaps a lazy commenter.

Back to Peev:

“…I’d say someone is a conservative who favors the ‘fairness’ tax, because, bread and butter,”

He also tries to back out of his “Don Shelby is a moderate conservative,” comment from a few weeks ago… which is hilarious every time he continues down that road.

Back to Peev’s bitch on Mitch:

“I certainly think Mitch was trying to suggest this is essentially a baby of the radical left, meaning it’s THEIR agenda, their idea.. it’s a suggestion he can’t prove, he just intimates it and hides behind the fact that he didn’t say ‘only’ when the implication was there.”

The suggestion Peev makes is not provable… he’s putting words in Mitch’s mouth. He said what he said, Peev. Plain and simple. When did you stop beating your wife,Peev?

He also suggests that he’s more light-hearted than me and “other extremist righty” folks. I’m not sure I’m an extremist, especially his kind of extremist.

“You guys are ready willing and able to tell EVERYONE and ANYONE how to live, what’s right, what’s not, except when those rules are used on you, THEN you get incensed, start calling everyone every name under the sun, and invoke all sorts of smear.”

Based on that comment, he’s out of his depth. I’m not sure where he’s getting that… but that is merely the tip of the iceberg.

“…it sure would be nice if rather than preaching hate all the time,”

“…many of you live in such a deep dark hole of seething hate,”

“…if the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn’t give a crap.”

“…on the political scale 1 being Strom Thurmond in his younger days, 100 being Che Guevera, I’m about a 55.. I suspect you’re about a 10, maybe a 6.”

He then bitches that I said he’s not objective. To “prove” that he is he claims to support a number of issues that might be strictly conservative… as if that kind of support from a Left-Leaner means he’s objective. He’s not objective because he doesn’t seem to understand conservatism and is lazy, clumsy, or ignorant of moderate and extreme conservative philosophy.

Why do you claim I might be a 6 or 10 on your scale? That might very well be the reason you are not objective.

Bonk on the Noggin

2008-04-21T12:11:00.001-05:00

I’m so out of practice these days. I prefer to not cover the same ground everyone else covers, yet I still like talking about those topics. I also enjoy prattling on about my boy and my hobbies… which, I’m sure can bore the life right out of the veins of most visitors.

I ought to come up with a pattern to help focus my blogging. I hate being inconsistent, especially when that means posting a couple days of the week followed by weeks of nothing.

Actually, one of my excuses covers my ass. It also provides a slightly interesting story.

While reading “This Just In” from Our Word I thought about a recent day out with my family. Months ago, my parents got tickets for “Jersey Boys” for my wife and I as well as some of my aunts. My mom planned lunch and drinks at her house, arranged for a limo to cart us downtown and back, desert and coffee back at her house after the show.

I’m not a huge Four Seasons or Frankie Valli fan, although he was fun to watch in “The Sopranos”. Of course, I know some of their songs, but an afternoon out with family sounded like fun. The dramatization of the story of the Four Seasons was much more entertaining than I expected… and the fact that Valli and Gaudio worked for decades (and continue to work) on a handshake gives me a sort of thrill. I got to see Tony Soprano’s father on stage.

I even got a concussion.

The concussion came afterward… around the time five women flew around in the back of the limo. That was mere moments after the limo plowed into the back of a minivan… which was seconds after the minivan tried to avoid hitting a car driving extremely slow on MN 280 after a fairly sharp turn.

My mother got an ugly black bruise on her leg and banged up her arm.
One of my aunts got a huge bump on her head and broke her toe.
One of my other aunts got bumped and bruised pretty bad.
My wife banged up her back and is in physical therapy.
Another relative broke her arm.

There is nothing sophisticated or classy about a limo ride… at least not with lumpy seats, dirty looking cup holders, blue-hairs violently thrown onto the floor, having to stand in the muddy grass off of a freeway in the early days of spring, and waiting for a ride home.

We laughed some of that off… what else can you do?

Unfortunately, I discovered that I didn’t get out of that accident unscathed. The next night I felt like I needed some cold medicine to fix my congestion, sinus pressure, cough, etc. My wife gave me the stuff she used, but she warned me that I would get pretty drowsy. I took it around 10:00 pm, and didn’t get to bed until about 12:30 am. So much for the drowsy stuff.

The next day I wake up and get ready for work… very drowsy. Some cold medicine! Same story follows that day. I take the medicine at night and get to sleep around 10:30 pm.

Next day… I’m not simply feeling drowsy, I’m feeling damn goofy. Hmmm, must be getting more sick. However, I decide to go home halfway through my work day.

Next day… word gets ‘round to my wife, my sister, and my mother. They all talk phone me over and over again, talking incessantly about getting me to a doctor. It’s been five days since the accident… how bad could it be?

Before noon, I have a mother hen ringing my doorbell about seven to twelve times and ringing my cell phone while I try to get pants on and answer the door. “Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’m coming.” The last thing I want to do is go anywhere and wait for a doctor to see me.

After navigating the new and improved halls of the hospital (with a little help from hospital staff) we find the Emergency Room. (I believe the hip folks call it the ER these days… the folks that give you their digits when they want you to call.) The gal at the desk asks why I’m there. “Possible concussion.” She tells me to go through the second door.

Huh? No waiting, no sitting around watching the fish, no reading an out of date woman’s magazine. Straight to the preliminary examination. Huh, I guess it is a big deal… all the same, it’s been five days. How bad can it be?

Eventually, they want to check me out for the flu, but they also scan my head. The stick a wire with a swab up my left nostril and gab it around briefly… but just enough to make me feel like my sinus cavity has been connected to a speaker system from the late 1980s. About an hour later I find out I’ve got the flu… but it’s been a while, so they can’t really do anything. Just drink fluids and rest. Exactly what I was doing in the first place… until my family woke me up repeated with constant nagging phone calls.

The scan of my head? I couldn’t help but remember the opening credits of The Incredible Hulk where Bill Bixby has lights and medical crosshairs on his face. How long before the Gamma radiation hits and I need to lift a car all by myself? (That doesn’t bother me as long as Mr. McGee doesn’t make me angry… he wouldn’t like it when I’m angry.) Verdict from the doctors? Closed wound head trauma… or something like that. Mild concussion. Not much to do about it now, though… it’s been five days and I didn’t die. However, over the next few months (or even up to a year) I need to watch out for returning or recurring signs of trouble… in which case I visit my doctor.

Felt light I was riding the Short Bus for a while.

Funny, that accident came within two weeks of some idiot pulling out in front of me. No proof of insurance, no driver’s license on hand. Luckily, she has insurance… and they are paying for the damages.

Until my car gets fixed (and the mechanics should finish soon), I’m driving a minivan. Nice room… but the boy sits too far in the back for my tastes.

As long as things get back to normal soon, I’ll be happy.

Brain-Dead Liberal on Brain-Dead Liberals

2008-03-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

I... I... I, uh, just don't know what to say at this point.

I've only seen a little bit of David Mamet, and then only in film versions. I don't recall reading any of his work, but I must declare this to be his best writing ever.

According to him, he is no longer a brain-dead liberal.

Regarding the government, corporations, and the military:

...Are these groups infallible, free from the possibility of mismanagement, corruption, or crime? No, and neither are you or I. So, taking the tragic view, the question was not "Is everything perfect?" but "How could it be better, at what cost, and according to whose definition?" Put into which form, things appeared to me to be unfolding pretty well.

Do I speak as a member of the "privileged class"? If you will — but classes in the United States are mobile, not static, which is the Marxist view. That is: Immigrants came and continue to come here penniless and can (and do) become rich; the nerd makes a trillion dollars; the single mother, penniless and ignorant of English, sends her two sons to college (my grandmother). On the other hand, the rich and the children of the rich can go belly-up; the hegemony of the railroads is appropriated by the airlines, that of the networks by the Internet; and the individual may and probably will change status more than once within his lifetime.

(Emphasis mine.)

Looks like he's simply American. If any of his writing is that good, I'm just going to need to binge.

More people ought to read Mamet.

Catholics, Old Sins, and Journalism

2008-03-10T11:08:00.004-05:00

Not much new under the sun where it concerns sin. In terms of generations or centuries, man constantly struggles with his relationships to others and to God. However, folks now say we have new sins… even though Yahoo! News says “new sins” in quotes (just like me).

The first half stresses that the area of bioethics poses a grave threat in terms of the soul. The article mentions cloning and the use of human embryos in stem cell research specifically. New science, but the sin itself falls into old territory… at least I assume so.

The concern over the destruction of human embryos for stem cell research is the same concern over abortion. I’m unclear on the concern over cloning. I’m not diminishing anyone’s objections… I just don’t know what they are in terms of Catholic teachings. (I suspect they fall into established areas of concern.) Maybe those objections are part of what Yahoo! News refers to when they say “new sins”.

Perhaps I can shed some light on the subject regarding these so called new sins. The story actually comes from Yahoo! Green (oi gevalt). Just take three guesses as to the nature of these news sins… but the first two don’t count.

Vatican lists "new sins," including pollution
(Courtesy Yahoo! Green)

In an interview called "New Forms of Social Sin," Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti mentions “ecological” offences. Again, I’m going to run on the theory (which has rapidly been moving into Law territory) that journalists know nothing about Christianity, much less Catholicism. Even if some do, journalists seem to talk down to the non-Catholic folks at best or playing fast and loose with Catholicism so as not to confuse the audience… as if they are stupid and lazy. The title of Archbishop Girotti’s interview specifically says “New Forms”… meaning what? Not new sins, but old sins committed in new ways. Dolts.

Now, about this Green crap. If anything is driving me out of the Catholic Church, and there are a couple of forces currently at work (but my resolve is currently strong) it is this nonsensical rush to judgment by the Vatican to ring its hands over ecological concerns. The Vatican has “…hosted a scientific conference to discuss the ramifications of global warming and climate change…” which scares the Hell out of me. Not because I’m worried about Man Made Global Warming and the ever-vague Climate Change, but because a religious body concerned with souls and our relationship with God is hosting effing conferences on Green issues instead of the other issue in the article.

“Girotti, who is number two in the Vatican "Apostolic Penitentiary," which deals with matter of conscience, also listed drug trafficking and social and economic injustices as modern sins.”

Again with the social and economic injustices. The Church becomes more Socialist, or so it seems, all the time. However, that line didn’t bother me as much as what followed.

“But Girotti also bemoaned that fewer and fewer Catholics go to confession at all.”

The Archbishop, perhaps (at least by the tone of the article) as an afterthought, bemoans that Catholics don’t seem to confess much or at all.

Con-effing-fession!!! One of the critical steps to forgiveness for Catholics and this article pushes the false idea that there are new sins to the top.

I don’t know what frustrates me more… the idea that the Catholic Church continues to move to the Left, that Catholics seem to pick and choose the acts of faith they see fit to practice, or that non-Catholics regularly paint Catholicism without much correction or objection from Catholics.

Those three are obviously related, folks.

Think of this: some times conservatives don’t vote for Republicans or don’t show up at the polls at all. When? When conservative candidates don’t run… and the situation in elections is similar for Catholics in church and in faith.

RIP Mirthful Leader

2008-02-27T11:19:00.003-06:00

Let us not forget that WFB, Jr. was as good-natured and fond of wit and humor as our other great star, President Reagan.

This morning, William F. Buckley, Junior dead at 82. Of course, National Review and conservatism lives on.

UPDATE:
I should add a few items, one of which is Jonah Goldberg's column on the occasion of National Review's 50th year (and Buckley's 80th).

Buckley understood that anyone, even barbarians, can be “individualists.” Individualism, properly understood, requires a larger moral and political context to work. The liberalism of the American founders was formed with a moral and metaphysical superstructure, which had been eroded by industrialization, urbanization, and the steady flotsam of various statist ideologies washing up on our shores. Pragmatism, reform Darwinism, progressivism, socialism and countless other isms had belittled and diminished the “old dogmas” of liberty, as the desiccated carapaces shed off by History on the March. The secular collective, not the Christian individual, was the form the God-state chose to manifest itself in this time.

Hence National Review got to work trying to craft a new ideology which stood up to Hegel’s historicist God-state. Indeed, had not Hegel proclaimed that the state was the “march of God on earth”? That is the History National Review was founded to stand athwart and yell “Stop” to.

Again With the Uvula

2008-02-22T08:14:00.003-06:00

Two years is too soon for this business with my uvula.

Luckily, I think there's a Minute Clinic open only slightly out of my way (and in a traffic-laden area). My wife and co-workers must be rejoicing in the potentially smaller window of Badda-talking.

Damn! There goes my entertainment for the next 24 to 36 hours.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Barney Lakner Update

2008-02-21T13:37:00.002-06:00

Thanks to Observer who dropped a comment with a link to an update on Lakner and the Ely Six.

BWCA shooting suspect will contest evidence
Duluth News Tribune
Published Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Barney James Lakner, one of six Ely residents charged with making terroristic threats against campers on Basswood Lake last August, will contest the evidence against him at a pre-trial omnibus hearing in March.

Lakner was scheduled for an omnibus hearing today in State District Court in Lake County but his attorney requested a contested omnibus hearing now set for March 24. Lakner could challenge constitutional issues and other evidence against him. It’s likely law enforcement officers involved in the case could be called to testify at the hearing.

Lakner is charged with several felony crimes for an incident in which several guns and large fireworks were fired near campers on Basswood Lake in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness on Aug. 7. One other trial is scheduled in the case and three other suspects have pleaded guilty in the case. A 16-year-old boy also is charged in the case in juvenile court.

Law enforcement officers might very well get called to testify, huh... didn't the guy who initially showed up know Lakner? Read the criminal complaint... it is in there.

That's My Girl

2008-02-07T12:00:00.000-06:00

Soucheray often comments on living in “a house divided”. Like the concept of The Look, I suspect most folks understand living in a house divided. With that in mind, you won’t be surprised if I say my wife leans to the left. Oh, she’s come a long way in the past fifteen years, but old habits are hard to break. She’s a far cry from the hard core lefty from before.

In any case, she’s come to regard President and Senator Clinton as the bane of politics and a black eye upon our country. She also has a feeling about Senator Obama. Regarding the Republican contenders she doesn’t yet feel much of anything toward any of them, but she has reservations regarding Senator McCain.

As she left for the caucus she told me she sees no reason at this time to vote for anyone in the campaign… so she intended to vote against the candidate who rankles her most. Senator Hillary Rod-ham Clinton.

Although she is my Dutiful and Beautiful Mrs. Badda, she doesn’t really want to blog… however, her caucus experience entertained the Hell out of me and made me proud. She’s writing down the details… but until they come in, I’m going ahead with the story. With that in mind, this post will get updated.

She brought our son to the DFL caucus. Since she arrived a little late she couldn’t immediately find a parking space. Once inside, she waited in line to find her precinct number and in which room that precinct was meeting. Was it up, was it down? Down the left hall or the right hall? She spent about ten minutes trying to find the damn room. Of course, the boy wasn’t really enjoying himself.

Eventually, one of the city council members (possibly Susan Rosenberg) ran into my wife. Perhaps this woman could help my wife find the right room. Well, my wife told her how frustrated she was with the lack of organization and assistance and that she was almost ready to give up. Oh, no… a woman on the city council (and at a DFL political event) wouldn’t let that happen. Local politics to the rescue! Did my wife need to find her precinct? “No! I already know my precinct number. I simply need to find the right room.”

Oh. I can’t help you. With that, the brave, knowledgeable, enabling, and supportive female city council member turned tail and walked off. See you next Thursday!

My wife’s got some German, Irish, and probably something else feisty and stubborn in her… and that damn council member only annoyed her enough to find that effing room. Of course, she did.

She walked up to a short line to sign in. Ahead of her was a DFL mom with a young son ready to take part in his first presidential election. The kid didn’t know exactly what to do and clearly had some reservations. “Just sign this thing here,” said the impatient DFL mother. The kid said he didn’t know if he even wanted to be there. “Just sign here,” said the loyal DFL helper. The kid still didn’t know if this was right for him. “Just hurry up and sign!” said the DFL mom. Isn’t that considered coercion and harassment?

“Back off,” said my most Dutiful and Beautiful wife. “He said he hasn’t made up his mind.” She then turned to the yout’ (as Joe Pesci would say). “Look, this vote is yours and yours alone and you don’t need to do anything that anyone tells you if you don’t agree.” The kid looked relieved at someone backed him up. The others looked shocked and stunned that anyone, much less a woman and a lone mother, would possibly obstruct the process.

Who wouldn’t be proud? That’s not all.

After the sign-in, she got into the room and took a seat. Now, I suspect it isn’t for nothing that they held this caucus in a junior high school. According to my wife the room was chaotic, unorganized, and full of idiots who wanted to be heard. (Herd?)

Out of such chaos must come order, though… but when? Eventually, they get to the straw poll with proposals to alter the DFL platform by adding, changing, or removing items. Oh, did they have suggestions. Not only that, they want to get “their money’s worth” so they quickly propose them, vote on them, and move on to the next one. Predictable as ever, some hand-wringing socialist demanded Universal Health Care. (What? It isn’t already in the platform??? The devil must be in brand new details.) Very well. All in favor…

Whoa, Trigger. Any chance someone might have a question? (Yeah, that was my wife stopping the show.) “Who is going to pay for all of this?” Stunned silence. Hostile expressions. Daggers from eyes. Looks that kill. She continued by telling the whole room that she works hard for her son and family. For that pleasure, she sees 40-percent of her income goes away to only God know? She tells the room that in spite of what they may think of her, she isn’t rich by any sane standard in this country and that they all should know because they should all come from the same precinct. She says she comes from a family that strongly supports the Democrat party (under varying successes and failures) and married a man with strong conservative principals and questions both sides constantly. Someone will be forced to pay for this… and for every other proposal and goal that you folks desire. There are side-effects and unintended consequences. Think about them.

Silence.

Silence.

All in favor? All but two hands were raised.

All opposed? My son raised his hand. (God, thank you for my son.) That allowed for a slight pause, letting my wife raise her arm a little bit for just a –

Passed!

Regardless of the amount of buffoonery, my wife made her voice heard and my son made his first stand against socialism… all within hours of my wedding anniversary.

I am a rich man, indeed.

Nine Years Married

2008-02-06T12:09:00.001-06:00

What a heavy week. (Actually, more than a week, but that's just nit-picking.)

Lost an uncle... and quite a good uncle, too. (Probably going to blog about that soon, mostly because the material is too damn good.)

My uncle's funeral... saw a lot of family including some folks I don't often see. The eulogies were great, including the speech given by my old man. My boy sat through a complete Catholic funeral mass... a little figity, but aside from needing a trip to the bathroom he made it.

President Reagan's birthday today.

Last night's caucus... further evidence that I live in "a house divided". Her caucus story is more interesting than mine... and, in spite of the fact that she went to the DFL caucus, I am extremely proud. Also, the boy made his first steps into conservative beliefs.

My ninth wedding anniversary, with the day off from work.

Ash Wednesday... so the wife and I can't really have a great anniversary meal,

My wife leaves town for a few days on Friday... so we can't really have a great anniversary meal this weekend.

On the other hand, my boy and I have the weekend to screw around like a couple of kids.

However, I just learned that my dad's uncle (the last one) died yesterday and the funeral will probably be Saturday... so a little less goofing off, but a little more time with our family.

I started writing something and mulling over ideas for something else, then I was hit with one of these events. Then another. Then another.

I'll get to something soon. ;)

Strib Letter: All-Day Caucus

2008-02-05T11:46:00.000-06:00

PRECINCT CAUCUSES
Not a fan
Is caucusing fair? People who work second shift cannot attend. It is difficult for older people to get out on a winter evening or even get a volunteer to give them a ride. Parents of small children cannot take turns babysitting while the other goes to caucus.

The small window of time for people to attend a caucus vs. voting at a polling place that is open all day does not seem to be what a free society proclaims when it says it wants all voters to participate.

Let us have a real primary where people really have an opportunity to vote.

BYRON BUTTERS, ANDOVER

Byron, in some way or another voting isn't fair. Life isn't fair, either.

Perhaps a second-shift worker getting the day off or taking a sick day or taking a day of vacation to attend a caucus is difficult... but hardly impossible.

Perhaps the old or infirm may not easily get around on their own or get a ride and an escort to the caucus... but hardly impossible.

Perhaps parents cannot caucus together without a babysitter... but hardly impossible.

Perhaps folks in general cannot easily run out to an evening caucus because of the two hours or more window... but hardly impossible.

You might need to pay someone for a lift, to babysit, or miss some work and therefore have a smaller paycheck because of one day.

We as citizens get a vote, but it isn't free of inconvienence. Nor should the government make a trouble-free caucus. The inconviences do not mean we do not live in a free society. Freedom isn't diminished because you don't want to get a taxi or because some guy doesn't want to lose four hours on his timecard.

You are free to go, and you are free to stay home. You are free to hitchhike to the caucus. You are free to talk to your neighbors and organize a cheaper mode of transportation and help find someone to watch your neighbors' kids and lend or give a couple of bucks to the guy who works second-shift.

That's freedom.

Sock it to ME???

2008-01-28T14:06:00.000-06:00

Strange waking dreams (I guess you could call them that) vexed me over the last few days… I saw President Nixon singing pop songs by female vocalists.

What songs and by what singers?
It all started with “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne… very strange. The song itself is mostly fun pop, but definitely in the modern pop feel. I’m not sure if it is pop-parody, a jab at psycho-girlfriends, a jab at narcissist girls, or an “empowering” song for girls with no scruples. All that from the original 60s Comeback Kid.

Not only “Girlfriend”, but “Take It Off” by The Donnas… which is an absolute blast (especially with Guitar Hero), but undeniably bizarre when you imagine a former president (not to mention a dead former president) singing any line from that song.

What else?
“Ready to Go” by Republica
“We’ve Got the Beat” by The Go-Gos
“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper
“Like a Virgin” by Madonna

I have no idea why… however, it lead to a couple of funny songs at work.

Strib Letter: G.W. Rebate No Good

2008-01-23T15:26:00.000-06:00

Spot the flaw in this guy's logic.

SLOWING ECONOMY
Don't leave out the poor

The Bush administration's economic-stimulus package does not provide rebates for the very poor, specifically families making less than $24,900. Once again, this Republican administration wants to stiff the working poor in favor of the wealthy. Not only is this morally wrong, it is economically disastrous.

The working poor are far more likely to spend a rebate than the wealthy. That extra spending will create demand for products and services, which in turn will create jobs. In the end, business owners will see increased profits and will get their share.

Stiffing the working poor will only increase the federal deficit and dig us deeper into the recession we are likely already in.

JEFF SOMMERS, MAPLE GROVE

Not enough rebates for folks who make under $25K. The natural questions, "I suppose", are how much tax do folks in that range pay, and how much to they get back?

What's more, do you really consider the middle class to be The Wealthy? Not only that, but isn't this guy talking about the same idea that folks chided President Reagan on in the 1980s?

Isn't Jeff Sommers suggesting that we should rob Peter to pay Paul?

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Barton Update

2008-01-23T13:17:00.000-06:00

Well... what's up?

Barton pleaded guilty to felony aiding and abetting terroristic threats in connection with the Aug. 7 night-time incident on Basswood Lake, in which dozens of BWCA campers reported being harassed by men who fired guns and yelled threats from motorboats.

...and?

Barton also pleaded guilty to misdemeanor counts of underage drinking and reckless discharge of a firearm. He testified that he fired a .22-caliber pistol at objects on the shore and laughed as his companions yelled and swore at campers.

Don't you love listening to kids try to skip responsibility with comments like, "Dude... I don't know," and "I guess"?

Look no farther than Zack Barton... total moron. (Buggs might call him a maroon.)

Lake County Attorney Russ Conrow asked Barton on Tuesday: "Do you believe that what was being said or how it was said could have caused terror?"

After a long pause, Barton answered: "I suppose."

Maybe you might agree, clearly and without a vague response, that the acts you, Zack Barton, committed were not only wrong but completely stupid... right?

"I suppose."

What in the flaming hootie-hoo is wrong with you, kid? Don't you have any idea about how serious this is?

"I suppose."

Christ! You must be a complete jerkoff.

"I suppose."

Dork.

Speaking of dorks...

Also on Tuesday, defendant Barney Lakner, 38, was allowed to continue his next hearing until Feb. 19, and defendant Jay Olson, 19, pleaded not guilty and requested a trial.

Olson's attorney, David Keegan, produced letters from more than 30 character witnesses on his client's behalf. Several wrote that Olson's alleged crimes were out of character and that they hope his punishment won't prevent him from finishing college.

His drove the boat. (Allegedly.) He also yelled at whoever told Lakner, MU, and him to shut up (and apparently, to knock off the shooting.) Olson and Lakner appeared to be the ringleaders, with the MU kid playing big shot.

However, in Olson's defense, he seems to have thought they should have stopped or knocked it off or not gone too far.

What else? The prosecution is pushing for extended jurisdiction for "MU"... the 16-year-old kid who thinks his penis is large and is eager to proove it.

No Cash, Please... We're Jerks

2008-01-21T14:18:00.000-06:00

Apparently, a tech store in Boise, Idaho refused to accept cash for a big purchase... I'm also left with the impression that the clerk, manager, and security guard were not very polite about the story policy. Of course, I might be mistaken.

The customer got a call back from the store's corporate office to explain that the policy was not company-wide:

...31 U.S.C. 5103 says that cash is legal tender for all debts, public and private. Creditors can't refuse cash.

The individual store may refuse cash, though. Of course, that's probably not a great idea. Certainly, it might not be worth maintaining the policy at all costs.

The corporate guy also apologized and assured the customer that cash would work out for the purchase. When the customer calls the store back to make certain that the items were still in stock...

...after I asked the guy about them he said, "I know who you are, [you're] the guy that wanted to pay cash. My district manager & corporate called me and read me the riot act over this. Thanks for getting me in trouble!"

He then hung up on me!

You probably know the name of the store... but you won't have much of an opportunity to shop there much.

Not THAT Cold

2008-01-21T13:10:00.000-06:00

Sure it was colder, but it was hardly impossible to go outside. I actually rather enjoyed it. I popped outside with a friend for a quick cigarette... now, we didn't linger, but it was possible. Saturday night was even better. Bella luna, too. Nice and calm with the moonlight on the thin layer of snow.

Last weekend was filled with game nights... role playing on Friday, Wii on Saturday, and a tabletop game for WWI aviation battles (Wings of War... and it's fun). Couple of cocktails and beverages each night, too. Vodka gimlets on Friday, margaritas on Saturday, and Jack Daniel's on Sunday.

Anniversary... Already???

2008-01-15T13:27:00.000-06:00

Oh, dear God... this quaint little idea is becoming more and more difficult. At least on my paycheck.

For almost every wedding anniversary, I take the traditional present idea and think of something silly. Ever since my first attempt she loved the concept.

On our first anniversary (traditionally a paper gift) I bought her a surplus of paper towels, toiled paper, paper tissues, paper napkins, and a couple of reams of printer paper.

Our fourth anniversary (traditionally a gift of fruit or flowers) yielded freshly squeezed orange juice and grapefruit juice, a can of pinnapple juice, a jar of Maraschino cherries, a variety of canned fruits, about four bouquets of flowers, and at least four potted plants. Fairly obnoxious... and it made her smile.

This year? Pottery and willow. Huh? We don't really need anything, so I can't get practical. Getting sarcastic with pottery is mostly a waste... get some goofy thing in pottery and you're simply asking to throw it out within the month. The modern gift is leather... and we took care of that back on our third anniversary. (A nice pair of comfy shoes.)

This gets even more tricky since the D&B reads my blog a little more regularly now... so if I start mentioning [whatever it is I'm thinking of], then the game's up. Hmmm, maybe this year I'll post a picture.

Do Me No Favors

2008-01-10T13:07:00.000-06:00

It makes me want to think up captions for this photo. He looks a little disappointed or even annoyed at the "help".

Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, endorsed Sen. Barack Obama for the White House Thursday

Sen. Obama: "Actually, Mr. Heinz, I'd prefer support from a winner."

Kerry should be able to provide some organizational and fundraising muscle to Obama.

Since losing the 2004 race, Kerry has kept a national network of supporters intact. He has an e-mail network of 3 million supporters...

At least one-third of those e-mails all go back to one guy with multiple usernames on Amazon.com where he continues to review conservative books with 1-star ratings and snotty rants.

Valuing Fathers

2008-01-10T12:57:00.000-06:00

It is good to remember your dad.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Erzar and Fenske Update

2008-01-08T13:28:00.000-06:00

Getting a lot of traffic... that must mean there's a development in the story of Barney Lakner and His Jackass Six.
You remember, he's the guy in his 30s who got a bunch of guys in their late teens and early twenties drunk (plus an underage, 16-year old, snot-nosed kid refered to as MU in the criminal complaint, apparently with a big mouth) on cheap beer, fired off guns, scared the shit out of a bunch of campers (possibly a bunch of wanky enviro-safe, urban dwellers who think the Indigo Girls are really neat), and "implied" that one of the girl campers was going to get used for hours.

For refreshers on the topic: Here, here, here, and here. Also, the charges and the criminal complaint.

The only defense brought to light by commentors here suggests that threats of rape are perfectly fine when you want some 'smores.

What's new?

As part of guilty pleas entered Monday, two of the six defendants charged with terrorizing campers in a drunken shooting spree last summer must testify against the others and can't enter the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness for three years.

Which of the two morons?

Travis John Erzar, 20, charged with three felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment and one misdemeanor count of underage consumption.

Casey James Fenske, 19, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment, one felony count of criminal damage to property, and misdemeanor counts of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

Erzar apparently didn't do much.

Erzar said in court Monday that while he was along for the ride, he didn't yell or shoot any guns. He pleaded guilty not only to the felony count but also to a misdemeanor count of consumption of alcohol by a minor. He agreed to be sentenced to three years' probation, to testify if necessary at the trials of the remaining defendants, and to stay out of the BWCA for three years.

Yeah, we've heard folks say "it wasn't me" before... however, it's probably true. Barney and the other punks probably think Erzar is a pussy. "The fucking pussy didn't fire a rounnd and he turns us in." Erzar probably didn't like the crappy beer they had either. I can't say I would blame him.

...Fenske admitted firing his .22-caliber pistol 40 to 50 times that night into the water. He also admitted to shooting the door of a "gauging station," a government structure. In addition to the felony count, he pleaded guilty to a gross misdemeanor count of criminal damage to property and a misdemeanor count of reckless discharge of a firearm.

Perhaps he was just excited to see (or be seen by) one of his friends skinny-dipping.

I can only imagine what the guys themselves really think... or if they are browsing this very blog right now.

Future updates to come. How do I know?

The attorney for a third defendant, Zachary Barton, 20, said in court Monday that they too are negotiating a potential plea. Sandvik ordered Barton to reappear Jan. 22. Also scheduled to appear that day for pretrial hearings are defendants Barney Lakner, 38, and Jay Olson, 19. The 16-year-old's case is pending in juvenile court, Conrow said.

This might get wrapped up by the middle or end of February. Even when the case is over, we'll never know if any of those folks are at least a little creeped out by a 38-year old man plying a kid as young as 16 with (crappy) beer and letting some of them go skinny-dipping.

Anyone? Anyone?

Again With the "Turnback"

2008-01-08T13:05:00.000-06:00

Just looking at yesterday's subject again... this whole "turning back" threat from Hillary [Rodham] Clinton.

"I have so many opportunities from this country, and I just don't want to see us fall backwards as a nation. This is very personal for me."

Where? What opportunities were granted to you that exclusively came from politicians like you that are threatened by politicians who may run against you or may get the Democrat nomination instead of you?

What exactly are these opportunities? Who made those opportunities possible? What law protected them? Who is threatening those opportunities? Is it a passive threat or an aggressive threat? Are the opponents of your opportunities evil or merely stupid?

Are you talking about champions for women? The poor? Immigrants? Illegal aliens? Blacks? Homosexuals? Who?

We'll never get an answer... however, we might get an answer to our prayer. ;) She not dead yet (ten months is a long time in politics), but you might be able to see a little bit of it from here.

Her Own Worst Enemy?

2008-01-07T13:23:00.000-06:00

Amanda Carpenter mentioned a couple of Hillary [Rodham] Clinton's post-Iowa statements.

“I see what’s happening and we have to reverse it. And some people think elections are a game, who is up and whose down, but it’s about our futures and it’s really about all of us together.”

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. Nobody knows the sorrow.

Isn't this exactly the same sense of panic and urgency we hear from politicians in every election? This is especially the kind of nonsense that comes out of the mouths of liberals when they point the finger at their boogieman... conservatives. What does she want to reverse? Troops in Iraq? Tax cuts? The boarder wall? Or is it the work The Man did against the poor, helpless women? Apparently, Liza Minnelli knew something about this some years ago.

Maybe she simply needs to "reverse" the No Job For A Lady... and only she can do it. Certainly not any of the other women involved in American politics... or Lady Thatcher. Or Elizabeth I.

“You know some of us put ourselves out there and do this against some pretty difficult odds and we do each one of use because we care about our country and some of us are right and some of us are wrong,” Clinton said.

"Some of us" translation: "Me".
"I care, they don't."
"Some folks out there just aren't smart enough to see how right I am."

“Some of us are ready and some of us are not. Some of us know what we will do on day one and some of us really haven’t thought that through enough.”

"I've been inside the White House! I know where everything goes!"

“And so when we look at the array of problems we have and the potential for really spinning out of control this is one of the most important elections America has ever really faces.”

Yeah. All of those other presidents were not ready either, but they managed well. Okay, President Carter didn't... but the odds are pretty good that you, Senator Hillary [Rodham] Clinton, will fare no better than any of the other potential candidates. To be honest, the only disaster I see waiting to happen is probably Senator Edwards. I'm willing to believe that you'll be a total trainwreck, though.

“So, as tired as I am and I am and as difficult as it is...”

Wasn't G.W. lampooned for suggesting the work was a little tiring? This is a woman who is tired now... long before she even gets into the real fight. What a sissy.

...to keep up what I try to do on the road like occasionally try to exercise and try to eat right, it’s tough when the easiest food is pizza. I just believe so strongly in who we are as a nation, so I am going to do everything I can to try to make my case and let the voters decide. Thank you.”

I'm the last guy to say this election is over for Hillary, as her team have apparently always known how to play the long game. That said, you would think that someone from Team Clinton would know how to coach their candidate better... how to more carefully sculpt these moments. Hmmm... maybe they have.

Whatever that means.

Perpetual Political Campaigns... That's Bad, Right?

2008-01-04T12:25:00.000-06:00

Maybe this works in our favor... sometimes.

John Hawkins points out where I assume we all agree.

* The Perpetual Campaign: We've gotten to the point that actual governance is being treated as markedly less important than campaigning.

The run at the presidency now features candidates spending a full two years on the campaign trail raising money and campaigning. Over and over again, important legislation is ignored so that symbolic votes on hot issues like the war can be held even though everyone knows that they're meaningless.

Instead of working on key issues like, let's say border security or Social Security reform, Congress looks for bills to attach earmarks to because that's how they believe you get elected, by bringing federal tax dollars back to their district to be used on comically useless Bridges to Nowhere, Liberace Museums, and buildings named after the Congressman who acquired the pork to fund them.

Who disagrees with that? No one, I expect.

However, take one of his other points later in the column (under Lack of Bipartisanship).

Granted, gridlock is generally a good thing in Congress, but it would be nice if the politicians in D.C. were willing to actually try to work together for the good of the country on occasion instead of only cooperating when they want to throw our money away on more pork or help out a lobbyist who has been spreading around a lot of campaign cash.

Government only takes away from the people... and it does so at the point of a gun, or with the threat of such violence. It collects taxes, the fruits of our labor, and in some cases distributes that to others... and if we refuse we'll eventually succumb to the force of government one way or another.

A government, specificially a legislative body, passes laws... and those laws cannot really grant us more freedom. We're already supposed to be free. The government only takes away. Some people reap the rewards of those laws, but it is probably at someone else's expense. Look at this item and this item from the Anti-Strib... is that or is that not a blow to freedom?

That is why I really enjoy a good government shutdown. We still go on, but government stops and creates no new laws (or, new infringements upon our liberty) our freedoms are more secure.

Of course, John is right when he says we want politicians to work on Social Security or boarder enforcement or illegal aliens or national defense. He's also right in regards to politicians making themselves look good by passing legislation that panders to the voters... that's where my idea falls short. When politicians engage in re-election activities we might very well see more bullshit laws than we see a politician simply neglecting his duties (and therefore not passing more laws).

Perhaps I'm looking for the silver lining.

By the way, welcome to 2008.

Christmas Traditions: part six

2007-12-26T09:10:00.000-06:00

Christmas Day sees much the same… however, this time we do it all at with relatives and we tend to have a bar available for a tasty libation steady my reflexes and stiffen my resolve. I consider myself clever and intuitive if the present I give my father to yield a “Hmm,” with a nod. This has occurred precisely once… and that doesn’t disappoint me, in fact, one time in the span of my adulthood to be quite a feat. This year might well see similar results. Should we have sufficient snow I might use last year’s Christmas present (from my sister and her cool boyfriend) to cross-country ski.

Regardless, we’ll go home tired, worn out, and in need of a vacation. However, I’ll go back to work Wednesday in the hopes that all of my clients have taken the rest of the week off. With a post-Christmas light load at work I might just be able to finish my Christmas shopping.

Christmas Traditions: part five

2007-12-25T03:00:00.000-06:00

The week of Christmas, the D&B puts up our stockings… which is a relief since I have no idea where in the Hell the damn things go when we store them or how they get hung up during Christmas. She’s not keeping secrets… she just knows, much like I just know how to put away all of the boy’s Thomas trains and rolling stock.

Of course, even she isn't immune to the tradition of dropping the ball on Christmas traditions... she's putting the stockings up right now as I blog. To make this more interesting, I didn't get anything for her stocking. I got her a few extra things for the Advent calendar-box-thingy-with-doors... I suppose that counts.

Christmas Eve sees a flurry of activity. Driving off to someone’s house. Driving back home after halfway to the destination because we forgot some presents. Hastily wrapping yet another forgotten present. Rushing off to a gas station to fill up. Filling out the cards in the car… with bumpy handwriting. Church at a mammoth church… either getting there early and waiting, or getting there on time and wandering around to find a seat. These days the boy gets too antsy… just like his old man, but with two of us we manage to get out and walk around. Somehow we find our car, then after about seven hours we start pulling out of the parking lot. Back to our relatives for diner… somehow there is no bar that I notice. Ever. We used to go out for diner… T.G.I. Friday’s, believe it or not. (I cannot say anything about this previous tradition without getting hit by my wife on behalf of her family.)

After eating we of course open presents… and the boy loves to help unwrap everything as well as throw away the wrapping paper, ribbon, and bows. After a little relaxing (again, without a tasty libation) we then rush out to get the boy home and into bed and the wife ready to go sing at our church. We also need to haul a few bags out of the car… and dump them unceremoniously inside somewhere with a few wrapped items (from Santa) prepared to be tucked under the tree as soon as a safe time appears.

The wife is out and the boy is asleep. Ah, Christmas time for Daddy. That means either I author a DVD for the new episode of Doctor Who as I've got folks counting on me, or I watch something fun on DVD.

Oh, shit! More last minute presents to wrap!

Christmas Traditions: part four

2007-12-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

Over the course of the Christmas season we also have a little case with twenty-five doors… it isn’t really an Advent calendar (although, I think Target believes it is), but it is close enough. It marks all of the days of December until Christmas in white with Christmas in red. We put little surprises behind each door… if we remember to do it. Some days are for the boy, some for me, some for the wife, some for the wife and me, and some for all three of us. Chocolate coins (otherwise known as Gelt), money, toy cars, magnets, candles, flowers… a little something to say “Whoo-hoo… it’s Christmas soon!”

More accurately, “Whoo-hoo… it’s chocolate, let’s eat it!”

Even more accurately, “Whoo-hoo… it’s a candle… let’s burn it!”

Candle. Aw, damn... forgot the Advent wreath again.

Christmas Traditions: part three

2007-12-23T10:00:00.000-06:00

As a movie fan, I prepare our Christmas viewing list. This involves me taking unsolicited suggestions from the D&B and turning them down while I try to select something, anything, worthwhile. I include a number of Christmas related television shows such as “The Blue Carbuncle” from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes featuring the incomparable Jeremy Brett. The D&B always turns this down in spite of the fact that I select the material. We always agree that we always watch “A Christmas Story” and “Scrooged” so we always agree to turn them down… however, if any part of those films appears on television we sit hooked for at least two scenes even though we have them ready to watch at a moment’s notice in splendid wide screen format.

A couple of years back I made special arrangements to watch a version of “Scrooge” highly recommended to me by a dear friend… the version with Alastair Sim. It is quite good, and as my friend insists it is rare in so far that you can believe the transformation Scrooge undergoes through the visits with the ghosts. I had to watch it without the wife since she wasn’t sold on watching yet another version of “A Christmas Carol”. Over the last few years we’ve been greatly surprised to discover that Patrick Stewart’s version (with Richard E. Grant!) isn’t very good although George C. Scott’s version (with David Warner!!!) is worth viewing again.

At least one television show gets watched on Christmas morning… “Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean”. If we’re lucky we also watch “The Season of Goodwill” from Bless Me Father. Maybe “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol”. As soon as the episode is available (typically in the evening) we also watch the new Doctor Who Christmas special. (This year, “Voyage of the Damned” appears to be a sci-fi disaster movie with a luxury spaceship designed to look like a titanic S.S. Titanic, golden robots in the form of angels, and an imminent crash into Windsor Palace.)

Christmas Traditions: part two

2007-12-22T16:00:00.000-06:00

After the tree, the wife puts up the garland, purchased from a family friend. They cover the outdoor railings and will probably be up until they turn a little brown… and the nettles fall off merely from someone looking at them briefly. I’d say around April. She also puts up the indoor garland (meaning fake) on the china cabinet.

We also set up our Advent wreath and candles. Some times we even do it on the first day of Advent. Occasionally, we even light them up on the right days.

With a tree in place, out come the boxes of decorations. I prefer to buy a new set of ornaments each year or every other year. Perhaps five years ago I found a nice set of small lanterns that evoke a Victorian house light. I only picked up four… should have picked up six, especially since I broke one this year.

“Daddy destroyed one, Mamma… but it was an accident.”

The boy wanted to pick up the broken glass, and he loves to maintain his reputation as a Really Useful Engine. Daddy, however, prefers to diminish his reputation as a “careless jackass” [the boy just said, "That's you, Daddy,"] and as a “toddler injuring moron”. (About a year ago, he fell down… head first… on to a die-cast caboose… in his hand… as he was running… pretending to be Sheriff from “Cars”… chasing me as Lightning McQueen. That’s three stitches.) He didn’t touch a thing… but I still broke one of my favorite ornaments.

Anyway, we put on The Rat Pack Christmas album (with Sinatra’s “Mistletoe and Holly”) as well as the Brian Setzer Orchestra’s Christmas album (with a great rendition of “Oh, Holy Night”). Between the D&B and I (with plenty of coaching and offers of help from the boy) we get the lights up. For the first time in many years (probably since I was a kid) my tree has multicolored lights. Typically, we have all white as it goes great with our cranberry colored string of beads. The boy wanted multicolored lights… and they look nostalgic.

For the first time ever I decided to bedeck the fake garland with ornaments. I didn’t want to put up the homemade ornaments this year… no offense to my nephew, but they really are not holding up anymore. The wife insisted, so I suggested the china cabinet. They look nice. Not only that, a few other decorations and it really looks nice.

My other favorite ornaments include Spider-Man hanging upside-down, a pair of long and dangly pieces with cranberry and gold bits that look like earrings worn by Goliath’s older sister for prom in 1987, and an old sailing ship in a globe. We also have a very nice wooden Father Christmas, a pyramid of tiny martini glasses, a swanky reindeer in a pin-stripe suit and a cigar, and a swanky reindeeress in a fur wrap. We also have a red English phone booth… and we’re looking for a blue police box, too. With luck, and a little more patience than I exhibited this year, they will all last until the boy reaches eight.

We prefer to put up a few ornaments at a time so we can gradually build up a nice looking tree over the span of a week. Fortunately, that tradition works well and it helps to cut down the frantic rush to get everything perfect in one night. However, it does tend to mean that a couple of ornament boxes sit around.

Christmas Traditions: part one

2007-12-21T14:09:00.000-06:00

Christmas traditions at the Badda household consist of several wonderful activities. Perhaps you practice some of the same.

On or shortly after Thanksgiving we start talking about our annual trip to the Revak Nursery. My Dutiful & Beautiful Mrs. Badda started going years before I entered the picture. Interestingly, one of my cousins ended up marrying a gal who occasionally works there. I think she said she still comes in once a year to help out. In any case, we cut down our own tree from those folks more often than not. In the eight years we’ve been getting trees as a married couple we’ve only picked up a tree from the local Boy Scouts twice.

We talk about the tree so we have one on the first or second weekend of December. I prefer to have it on or around the day of Saint Nicholas. Of course, we don’t always get the tree by that time. In fact, the tradition is that we put it off, for various lame reasons, until the week before Christmas. (The two trees from the Boy Scouts… days before Christmas.)

A recent tradition sends us to my family farm where we get a nice tree for outside. We even looked for a few trees before Thanksgiving. Some of them looked perfect. Technically, they still do as they are still in the ground up at the farm. Of course, without that little tradition we’re also going to miss another comedy of errors… the outside tree constantly blown down by harsh winter winds. There’s nothing like seeing a tree on its side in front of a half-decorated house (yet another great tradition). This year, we wanted to put the tree outside the boy’s window with plenty of lights and a light dusting of snow. We didn’t tell him so it could be a surprise… and when we actually put it up it will be a surprise.

Next year, I suspect.

I've Been Saying This For Years

2007-12-21T10:08:00.000-06:00

This often comes up, that you need to drink six, eight, or more glasses of water every day. Every time I hear it I ask from where the suggestion comes. "Studies show...". Okay, what studies? Where is it?

I've looked at Culligan brochures... they mention no study. In fact, whenever I see mail from a company that provides water I cannot find any link, any source, and sited information that confirms that you need to drink 64 ounces of water daily.

I usually tell folks to visit Snopes. Now, Yahoo News has this little feature story:

"There is no medical evidence to suggest that you need that much water," said Dr. Rachel Vreeman, a pediatrics research fellow at the university and co-author of the journal article. Vreeman thinks this myth can be traced back to a 1945 recommendation from the Nutrition Council that a person consume the equivalent of 8 glasses (64 ounces) of fluid a day. Over the years, "fluid" turned to water. But fruits and vegetables, plus coffee and other liquids, count.

So, when should you drink? When you are thirsty, or when you want to drink.

That ain't rocket science.

"But my skin is so dry!" Fine, drink some water if you like, but perhaps you should also use some lotion, take a shower, go for a swim, or use a gentle soap.

Now, if you decide to have a vodka sour, a vodka tonic, a vodka gimlet, or a screwdriver with freshly squeezed orange juice make sure you give me a call first.

Strib Letter: Pay More Taxes

2007-12-18T15:04:00.000-06:00

Paging Jason Lewis! Minnesota's Mr. Right to the white courtesy phone!

Apparently there is no problem with taxes in Minnesota... other than the problem that we do not pay enough taxes.

That according to a reader of the Star-Tribune.

Under-funding for the common good has to stop

Thank you, John S. Adams. Your Dec. 8 column on budget planning should be required reading by the governor, the Legislature and the antithetically named Taxpayers League.

For too long now, since President Ronald Reagan nationally, and Govs. Jesse Ventura and Tim Pawlenty at the state level, our leaders have promoted tax cuts and "no new taxes" as the utopian ideal. Actually, the reverse is true.

Ironically, the people most likely to trumpet American exceptionalism are the very same people who do not want to fund America. At some point, for example, the absence of additional public funding for our colleges and universities will price our future doctors, engineers, et al., out of the market at a time when places like China and India are becoming increasingly competitive in these areas. And the idea at the state level that we must continually cut taxes for business-friendly purposes has always been wrong on its face. If it were true, all businesses long ago would have moved to the low-tax states. In actuality, it's the higher-tax states that attract business because it shows the electorate is willing to finance and maintain the infrastructure -- from education to transportation -- necessary for the operation of successful businesses.

If we continue to under-fund for the common good to the extent we have for the last 40 years, we can be sure that American (or Minnesota) exceptionalism will be relegated to the dustbin of history in the not too distant future.

TOM OBERT, ALEXANDRIA, MINN.

Uh, yeah.

Say Tom... if you were paid $50,000 annually, but you had expenses for $75,000 would you simply say you were not paid enough and demand that your ungratful employer cough up the money?

After all, it isn't your fault that you spend more than you earn, right?

Additional insight gems from Tom Obert:
Another Tom Obert letter to the Strib.

Anti-Strib (specifically Brent) on a Tom Obert letter to the Strib. (Tom Obert doesn't understand that roads are used for the market much more than Governor Turnbuckle's light-rail... unless Mr. Obert often sees folks hauling cargo on the people-killing Hiawatha line.)

More from Tom Obert.

Music of Your Life

2007-12-18T10:30:00.000-06:00

From Berg's corner of the universe I found one of those meme things that I don't usually take the time to fill out. However, this caught my attention and got me thinking straight away.

What’s your favorite song about growing up?

What’s your favorite song about cars or driving?

What’s your favorite song whose title is a person’s name?

Tyranny and Mutation

What’s your favorite get-up-and-dance song?

(wince)

What’s your favorite novelty song?

For alternative answers, I'll just engage the Sinatra Circuits:
[Old School mode]

What’s your favorite song about growing up? Sinatra's version of "It Was a Very Good Year". Possibly the Tony Bennett version of "One for My Baby (and One More for the Road)"... if you can call it a song about growing up. It is more of a song about learning about women from the school of hard knocks.
What’s your favorite song about cars or driving?

What’s your favorite song whose title is a person’s name?

What’s your favorite get-up-and-dance song?

What’s your favorite novelty song?

[/Sinatra mode]

Following Guns, Smokes, and Fat

2007-12-17T11:23:00.000-06:00

Who would have thought that after our government hand-wringers started wagging their official fingers at guns, tobacco, and fat they would focus on a new target?

SF Considers a Tax on Sugary Drinks
SAN FRANCISCO (KCBS) -- For years, the idea of taxing soda to beat back obesity has been tossed around in medical circles. But now, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom is proposing a tax on beverages high in fructose corn syrup.

Newsom says obesity accounts for tens of millions of dollars in city health care costs. He cites a recent San Francisco Health Department survey that found nearly a quarter of the city's 5th, 7th and 9th graders were overweight and that high sugar drinks make up a tenth of a kid's daily calorie count.

Newsom reportedly wants all big box retailers and chain drug stores to pay into his new "Shape up San Francisco" program, which started this past summer with a walking regimen.

This comes as the state of California is considering slapping caffeine-infused sodas, and energy drinks with warning labels, saying consumption can contribute to diabetes.

If I were interested in changing the subject, I'd wonder aloud whether or not Mayor Newsom wants to tax adultery.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's re-election campaign manager resigned Wednesday after confronting the mayor about an affair Newsom had with his wife while she worked in the mayor's office, City Hall sources said.

Alex Tourk, 39, who served as Newsom's deputy chief of staff before becoming his campaign manager in September, confronted the mayor after his wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, told him of the affair as part of a rehabilitation program she had been undergoing for substance abuse, said the sources, who had direct knowledge of Wednesday's meeting.

He even looked for treatment for alcohol abuse following that story.

The mayor also faced scrutiny late last year for bringing a then 20-year-old woman out on dates, where she was reportedly seen drinking what appeared to be alcohol.

However, that is irrelevant. (Even if it was a media-dodge.)

Back to the topic. The mayor doesn't like kids drinking sweet drinks.

After banning plastic bags from chain grocery stores and bottled water from City Hall...

Now Newsom wants the soda sellers - primarily big-box retailers and chain drugstores - to chip in for his "Shape Up San Francisco" program and for media campaigns to discourage the soda habit.

The size of the fee (it won't be billed as a tax) is being worked out, but it may include a sweetener - namely giving the stores some other kind of fee break.

A fee... not a tax. Hmmm. Governor Pawlenty, call on Line One from San Fran.

"Shape Up San Francisco"? This is part of government's responsibility... how? If he were really interested in the health of citizens maybe they would focus on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases.

According to the press release from last Spring:

The Mayor will issue an Executive Order adopting the Shape Up at Work Standards and directing City departments to incorporate the standards as well as worksite wellness into each department’s goals and objectives.

I can hear Soucheray's bit with Buddy or the German right now.

For Christ's sake, just do what the government used to do, if you need to do anything at all... have the Department of Education hand out fitness awards for kids who aren't fat.

With all of that clap-trap, can you guess what else he likes (other than his employees' wives)?

...an unprecedented program called "San Francisco Health Access Plan," which Newsom hammered out with labor, business, and city leaders. More than 82,000 San Franciscans who lack health insurance and do not qualify for Medicare or Medicaid stand to benefit. The majority are employed adults (children already have access to subsidized care); others are unemployed, self-employed, homeless, or have pre-existing conditions like diabetes, AIDS or cancer; some are even undocumented (yes: illegal) workers. Starting in early 2007, every uninsured San Franciscan can seek comprehensive primary care at the city's public and private clinics and hospitals, including top research facilities like the University of California at San Francisco. Coverage includes lab work, prescriptions, X rays, hospitalization and surgery. Annual funding for the $203 million program will come from re-routed city funds (including $104 million that now goes toward uninsured care via emergency rooms and clinics), business contributions and individual enrollment fees, which will be income-adjusted.

Newsom considers San Francisco's historic undertaking a "moral obligation," one that other city, state and federal officials have shirked. "We are implementing this. We're not waiting around," he told TIME. "It's no longer good enough to explain away our problem and to point fingers."...

For what else is Mayor Newsom in favor? C'mon. You know the guy.
Mayors Against Illegal Guns
San Francisco as a sanctuary city and won't help feds on immigration raids
Carbon tax
Avoiding questions

[Mayor Newsom] called just about every lobbyist and special interest in town seeking money to defeat Proposition E, a ballot measure put before voters last month by his chief nemesis, Supervisor Chris Daly.

The measure, which lost, would have required Newsom to submit to a once-a-month "question time." According to records on file with the city Ethics Commission, Newsom raised some $194,000 to defeat it.

Although I'm breathing a sigh of relief for living in Minnesota... this stuff always seems to wash in with the tide eventually.

Pioneer Press Letter: Differences?

2007-12-14T13:18:00.000-06:00

I wonder if the writer of the following letter knows the difference between the people she's talking about.

Follow the money

Let's read some more information in the Pioneer Press about William McGuire, UnitedHealth, the other CEOs, CFOs and COs who have received grotesquely inflated income and backdated stock options.

Haven't we heard enough about Sonia Morphew Pitt?

For example, where will this money be returned, and will it include income realized on these amounts? Will it be returned to UnitedHealth to line others' pockets?

MARY TUOHY

West St. Paul

Is there a difference between Sonia Morphew Pitt (formerly of the Minnesota Department of Transportation) and the various chief officers of publicly traded companies?

Speaking of UnitedHealth, a high level government employee who may or may not work with the Attorney General's office refered to it and similar companies as The Dark Side. Neat... if you're a Commie.

Cartoon Search

2007-12-13T13:05:00.001-06:00

Getting a lot of hits from folks looking for cartoons... and possibly the Islam cartoons and Mohammad cartoons. This interesting traffic has been coming for well over two months, and probably longer. (Of course, it doesn't beat the Barney Lakner and BWCA Jackass traffic... that stuff still ranks pretty high.)

Just for fun, click the link to see a variety of Islam cartoons that pop up when you search Google Images. This cartoon was pretty good. This isn't bad either.

Strib Letter: Sense at Last

2007-12-12T22:26:00.000-06:00

It isn't often that you hear sense in a Letter to the Editor at the Star-Tribune... especially since most of the readers are still coming down from numerous hits from Nick Coleman's homemade bong.

Occasionally, you find someone who understands the founding of our country who can hold back the gag reflex while reading the Strib.

Your fire bothers me

And so it goes. We are happy and content that the government can protect us from the evils of smoking, whether we need protection or not. How nice it is that there is someone ready to insist on protection from the evils of wood smoke as well (Opinion Exchange, Dec. 5).

There can be no doubt wood smoke is a new and pressing danger, a direct threat to modern man. After all, it has only been around since the discovery of fire! How sad that we refuse to remember the Founding Fathers' idea that government intervention in our lives should be kept to a minimum. It all seems so beneficial or at least harmless, until they ban something dear to you.

MARK SUNDBERG, RAMSEY

Jim of the Anti-Strib mentioned something about the woman behind the proposed wood burning ban... and he mentioned a few folks who were interested. I hope his like minded folks carry out their plan... I might even make some time for the little caper myself. Just take a look and see if Julie Mellum is a little goofy... she's part of a group that calls itself Take Back the Air. (More than just a little pompous?) As the Anti-Strib mentions, Julie Mellum sells houses for Coldwell Banker. Would you be surprised to learn that she sells houses with fireplaces?

Someone ought to call her and her hive and offer to give them as much wind as they can spare. (She already has enough hot air blowing around.)

Now since Mr. Sundberg mentioned the Founders I'll add a nice little resource.

The Constitution.
The Bill of Rights.
The Constitution of the State of Minnesota.

Welcome to the Fold, Mr. Hadley

2007-12-12T19:30:00.000-06:00

Ah, I get to repeat myself.
Earlier this year, unfortunately with some lag time on my part, I made arrangements for fellow-blogger Mitchell from Our Word to see this year's season of Doctor Who. He and his wife finished off the episodes and I saw an opportunity to push something different their way.

For a number of years I've noted that a short-run sci-fi series might just hit the spot for them... Firefly, perhaps you've heard of it.

As luck would have it, an additional boxed set found its way on to my shelves. (The wife misplaced our first set, and after five months she decided to replace it... and within six weeks she found the original set.) I handed off the extra disks to Mitchell and wished him and his wife an enjoyable 10.5 hours of viewing.

So far, they have muscled their way through "Train Job", "Bushwhacked", and they might have just seen "Shindig"... which I enjoyed greatly.

Hard to get into 13 episodes of a modern cult favorite science-fiction series around Christmas... I believe they have some annual viewing they like to do, as do many folks this time of year. That said, I assured them that they were under no obligation to keep the disks let alone watch them all. If they enjoy them, the disks are certainly theirs to keep.

Of course, much like waiting to see their reaction for this year's key episodes of Doctor Who, I'm quite eager to hear how the series goes down for them. I cannot wait to hear their response to, "I got stupid. The money was too good." (Of course, if Mitchell reads that then the odds are in his favor that he's going to make a fairly accurate prediction.)

If they get through the series the D&B and I might make them a nice meal and have them over to watch the movie that came out.

Strib Letter: Mistakes Don't Count

2007-12-12T10:30:00.000-06:00

Yet another letter from a Star-Tribune reader who wishes to prevent the public from voting on local and/or school district matters. Is there any other kind of person who reads the Star-Tribune?

VOTING TEST
Did you abstain?

Let's have a simple rule on voting on abstinence-only sex education. Only if you practiced abstinence yourself may you vote for it or veto any law that doesn't try to enforce it. All those in favor, say "Aye!"

FRED E. HAHN, GOLDEN VALLEY

Fred might be a marketing consultant, so he might very well be qualified to live up to his rule. He might be a regular reader of the New York Times... if so, he's a wanker.

I wonder if Fred wants similar laws... for example, you cannot vote to strengthen sentances for thieves unless you've been a thief yourself. You cannot vote for pay raises for police or fire fighters unless you are a policeman, fire fighter, or an experienced and certified payroll expert. You cannot vote on school curriculum regarding evolution if you are in fact have clear evidence showing that you are indeed evolved beyond the level of writing damn-fool letters without reason or sense to the Star-Tribune.

Kadhafi: "Led Zep Rocks!"

2007-12-11T18:30:00.000-06:00

Libyan leader Moamer Kadhafi, a long-time fan of rock music, flew to London earlier this week to see one of the most anticipated rock and roll concerts in the last twenty years: Led Zeppelin.

Kadhafi arrives at London's O2 Arena for last night's Led Zeppelin concert.

Fans in the same section as Kadhafi say he is a very enthusiastic fan. A couple from Germany say they heard Kadhafi say, "Jimmy! Jimmy, we love you! It's been a long time!"

Kadhafi says the last time he was this excited to see a rock concert was the "Invisible Touch" tour by Genesis which he was forced to miss due to an unexpected scheduling complication in April of 1986.

"I waited in line for nearly an hour to procure a deluxe version of the program and a Two-X size jersey," says Kadhafi. "But some jerk ahead of me bought the last in my size, even though he probably only needs a large. Does he not know who I am? Does he not know that I could have ordered his death back in 1980? If he was born then, that is."
Last month, President of France Nicolas Sarkozy handed off tickets as promised.

After the show, he said he was quite excited, "Kadhafi wanna whole lotta love, baby!" He even expressed an interest to reunite with his bandmates from the Led Zeppelin tribute band Greased Air.

"If that doesn't work out, I pray to Allah that I get to see Knopfler with Dire Straits once more."

Mark Knopfler was not available for comment, however his answering machine noted that Kill to Get Crimson is out in stores now.

Fifteen Years

2007-12-10T10:40:00.000-06:00

I’ve never dated anyone for that long before.

Somewhere out there, a very small collection of women are wondering why they just gave reflexive sighs of relief. (To be honest, though, I just gave a ginormous sigh of relief… especially in the case of the first and the last exes.)

Sometimes I wonder about my luck. How did I manage to marry up? At the Anti-Strib Christmas party a number of us joked at how we all married up. I met Brent’s wife… a lovely woman. Last year I met Jim’s wife… a real woman in the Maureen O’Hara tradition. Tracy’s wife is universally praised as a gracious host and a great gal. To say that we all married up makes our wives sound like idiots and like women willing to settle for something less than their worth.

I’m not going to speak for the guys, but I’m sure they would agree in their cases… we may have married up, but we've closed the distance in terms of how we value and treat our wives.

Women, specifically wives, make us better men. We give them the treatment and appreciation they are due. They don’t merely take simple scraps of affection we dogs lay at their feet. They civilize us. They make us want to be better men… and we become better men.

I know some women wish to mold their men. They see their boyfriends or fiancés as great raw materials in which they may sculpt the perfect husband. Not me, baby. My wife knows she’s not the one that does the heavy lifting in terms of civilizing me. That’s my job. I’m the one who must aspire to greater things… and then carry it out.

In any case, fifteen years ago my wife and I went out on our first date. Dinner at Brit’s Pub. We unexpectedly met some friends of mine and ended up playing darts… they cheated at my wife’s request. I also walked her downstairs to show her (surprise!) the mistletoe. Our first kiss.

We’ve been laughing ever since.

Talking Cooking

2007-12-06T19:55:00.000-06:00

It has been too long since I cooked sauce in my house (gravy for those out East). The last time I cooked sauce was actually at a friend's house. The sauce tasted damn fine, though... and it kept good, too.

One of my friends (who I haven't talked to in over a year) does it all wrong. He drains the oil. Huh? Where do you expect the flavor to come in, the Humphrey Terminal?

Tonight, the boy and I sat down to a simple meal provided by the B&D. She's still learning. I'm half to three-quarters sick right now, so I couldn't taste stuff properly... so I'm not saying she made something bad. That said, I saw how she cooked the penne.

First of all, I've got a screaming headache... possibly from sleeping through lunch. She puts a pot with water on the stove. Not a tall pot like you'd use when you actually want pasta. She used the good medium-sized pot... the pot we normally use for cooking sauce. No big deal... this is penne. It will be fine.

Second, she only turned the gas up about half-way. Sweetheart, do you want to get this thing going or not? Kick it up to full.

Third, after I corrected the gas setting I come upstairs (bitching to myself because this damn headache is annoying the Hell out of me) and I see she's got the penne in the pot and the water boiling hard with the gas on full... but I don't see anyone stirring. Sweetheart, I've told you this before... if you want to make it right you don't over boil, you get a long handle spoon and stir, and you caress that stuff. Of course, I cut her some slack because I'm sick and if it were me right now I might just do the same thing.

Last, once you're done a little butter or olive oil ain't bad. You know, before you add the sauce.

Like I said, I'm hungry so she could have made SpagehttiOs and I would have been in heaven.

Dinner commences and the boy says his prayers before we even suggest it. He starts with the Sign of the Cross. Sometimes he starts at his head, other times he starts with one of his shoulders. Occasionally, he'll start with his neck.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit... the Son... the Spirit... Father-Son and the Son... Spirit, Spirit, Spirit... Hoooooooooly Spirit. .

Once in a while he even continues to cross himself.

Cross, cross, cross, cross.

Usually, he finishes with a very rushed and mumbled dinner prayer.

Godisgreatgoodthankfodfood. Amen.

In the past couple of weeks, he says it much more clearly and completely. When I'm in good spirits, we expand the amen.

Preacher Daddy: Can I get an Amen?
Kid: Amen!
Preacher Daddy: Gimme one more!
Kid: Amen!
Preacher Daddy: I can't hear you.
Kid: Amen!!!
Preacher Daddy: Say it loud and proud.
Kid: Amen!
Preacher Daddy: I wanna hear Hallelujah!
Kid: Hallelujah!
Preacher Daddy: And an Amen!
Kid: Amen!

I can't wait until he sees Reverend Cleophus James at the Old Landmark.

Tonight I asked him if he liked the sauce. I asked him to say "marinara"... using cliched hand gestures typically found at Central Casting.

Kid: Mara-mara.
Daddy: No. Marinara.
Kid: Marinbara.
Daddy: No... say mara.
Kid: Mara.
Daddy: Say nara.
Kid: Nara.
Daddy: Say marinara.
Kid: Bara-
Daddy: Marin.
Kid: Marin-narin.
Daddy: Marinara.
Kid: Menor-
Daddy: No. Well... it is the second night. Mar.
Kid: Mahr!
Daddy: Marin.
Kid: Marin.
Daddy: Marinara.
Kid: Barinmarnin.
Daddy: No.
Kid: Naramenara?
Daddy: No! Say Mara.
Kid: Kinda?
Daddy: Say Cheech Marin.
Kid: Ramone?
Daddy: Say Menorah.
Kid: Candelabrum?
Daddy: Say Inara.
Kid: Hubba-hubba!
Daddy: Nice!
Momma: Daddy!
Daddy: I got stupid, the money was too good.
Kid: Let's move this along, Daddy.
Daddy: Sorry.
Kid: Don't mention it.
Daddy: Where were we?
Kid: What's the name of the sauce?
Daddy: What is the fellow's name on second base.
Kid: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.
Daddy: Who's on first.
Kid: I don't know.
Daddy and the Kid: Third base.
Daddy: Surly you saw that coming.
Kid: I'm only three, of course I didn't see that coming... and don't call me Shirley.
Daddy: That's my boy!

In any case, we had Marinara... and not just any kind. It came right out of a jar. Someone might question my Italian credentials after hearing I ate sauce from a jar. Well, let me ask you... how many folks have their great-grandmother on a jar of sauce?That's her... and that's her recipe.

One of my cousins got this going. He's my old man's cousin's son. Apparently, you can buy this stuff in some of the supermarkets around St. Paul.

How's that for being Italian? I don't think even my Sicilian friend has that kind of credentials. (Her family is from Jersey, though.)

Wives Lie

2007-12-04T12:01:00.000-06:00

In touching on this subject I must write some personal and potentially salacious details. If you didn't like this golden post (which I count as one of my greatest works) then you probably don't want to read the end of this post.

Men know how women lie. Sorry, ladies… you lie. These lies range from benign to malicious. Sometimes you fool us. Sometimes you fool yourself. I love hearing a friend elaborate on some story regarding an argument or a little SNAFU or such confrontation where the lie is fairly obvious. That prompts me to boldly ask, “Whose benefit did you say that… yours or mine?” (Sometimes the friend knows I’ve just called her a liar.)

Sometimes wives tell different kind of lies.

“We can have sex every day of the week.”

Honest to God, that’s what she said. If I couldn’t detect that whopper then my Bullshit Detector © wouldn’t ever get calibrated correctly ever again.

We married nearly nine years ago. We’ve been a couple for exactly fifteen years. We first formally met 183 months ago… and we probably met or saw each other before that by two years. This was more than just some fun exaggeration on behalf of a playful wife. This was utter bullshit.

Oh, there were times when seven out of seven was regularly in the realm of possibility. (Ah, those carefree days of youth, those wonderful years, those glorious pages of history… we hardly knew you.) That’s why Rick says, “We’ll always have Paris.”

Some smug, probably feminist, jackass out there somewhere wonders, “How do you know for certain your Beautiful & Dutiful wife lied?” As if my extensive knowledge of her vocal inflections, facial expressions, posture, moods, and word choice isn’t enough… even the master burglar always leaves a tiny clue at the scene of the crime.

Earlier that evening she told me she was ovulating.

For a man of my experience (and with the pedigree and schooling with my Bullshit Detector ©) that was a no-brainer.

I instantly called her on it… however, part of me was wondering why seven-for-seven plan wasn’t a possibility last week, last month, or last year. A man can dream, …even if he’s married. The innocent, youthful, hopeful, and simple part of me (my naïveté, not just my libido) began to dance through dreams of possibility. I even started plotting out the when and where possibilities. (Think of the exuberance of Flounder in Animal House when he says, “Oh, boy! Is this going to be great?!?!?!”) Of course, the sensible side of me realized that this wasn’t going anywhere… well, more accurately; this vacation wasn’t going to be exactly like the pictures in the brochure at the travel agent.

Now, I’m not a vindictive guy… but my wife, the love of my life, the mother to my child, the civilizing force on my savage nature just told a lie big enough to incinerate every pair of pants she ever owned… and every pair she ever tried on since she was 13 years old. I wanted exactly what the Coz got on Junior Barnes.

“Revenge”

She unknowingly gave me the perfect opportunity. The boy was with my parents that night. We had the house all to ourselves. We had a great time… however, I completely surprised her by confounding her plans to conceive.

Her face immediately turned into the “What in the flaming hootie-hoo do you think you’re doing?” face. The first words out of her mouth were, “You bastard!” She was so shocked that I would be so damn clever… she was also annoyed. Annoyed at me for denying her plans, but also annoyed at me because she knew it was damn funny.

For the next fifteen minutes or more she cursed me while laughing.

I win and I got to have sex. Hell…I’m bulletproof!

No Justice: No Charges

2007-12-03T14:35:00.000-06:00

According to the county prosecutor, he can't file charges. Essentially, we knew this already... but that never gets in the way of a lawyer, politician, or some combination of the two from making a public statement.

You might remember the story of Megan Meier of Dardenne Prairie, Missouri... she hanged herself last year after one of her MySpace friends sent a few rather cruel messages. She was 13 years old... and understandably, the parents are frustrated in the extreme. I mentioned this in a post called No Justice.

County Prosecutor Jack Banas said at a news conference there was no applicable statue to file charges in the case. Banas said he looked at laws related to stalking, harassment and child endangerment, but found no repeated incidents of threats to someone's life or health, and no organized conspiracy.

Outside of the poor girl's suicide and the devastating effect upon her family and the people involved with the so-called friend's MySpace account, the important question is what to do about similar cases from here on out?

After the case became public, Missouri Gov. Matt Blunt asked lawmakers to review state law to see if changes were necessary to better deal with cases that involve Internet bullying. Some municipalities have also considered or passed statutes to strengthen laws that deal with Internet harassement.

Bullying, huh? Well, something tells me that the Internet really doesn't have anything to do with it. If you want to lay the hammer down on flks who bully, then that's your issue.

This is all about politicians, even those apparently involved in the less-government wing of politics, who want to hitch their wagons to big-story horses and create the appearance of doing the work of the people.

Here's some advice for Missouri's governor... read the Constitution. Simply because a very specific law addressing a specific set of circumstances isn't on the books doesn't mean you need one.

When a company comes out with laser pistols do you need to create a law that makes murder with a laser weapon illegal? Maybe someone in Missouri politics will think so.

School Kids and Good Intentions

2007-11-20T17:35:00.000-06:00

You need to raise your awareness.

Some self-righteous student in my Political Science class, who embraced the woman of color identity, actually said that to me in a class discussion. I cannot recall the topic, but that hardly matters. She saw a number of disagreements as those that should be fixed with re-education. She probably meant, "Someone should help raise your awareness for you."

This occurred on the same campus where, at this exact time of year, students camped out on the green to help understand and raise awareness of the plight of the homeless.

Even then that struck me as profoundly stupid. Now it seems even more arrogant. These are the kind of folks that may measure their level of activism and political action by the number of bumper stickers on their cars. They love to show you all their causes.

Anway, that was back in my college days at St. Thomas. This weekend, one of my priests introduced a member and local student who camped out on the church grounds with about 50 other people in a similar manner. He spoke about his experience, the homeless, and charity. Perhaps there was more to it. If there was more to it, he didn't mention it. I suspect there wasn't anything more to it... and that's the problem.

Sleeping out in a box with plastic wrap on campus or in your church parking lot doesn't really do anything. In fact, you've taken away valuable homeless-commodities... not that they will show up on the grounds of many suburban churches or on campus in a fairly good St. Paul neighborhood.

What exactly did you gain? You're in school with midterms coming up fast. If you are not going to work on school projects, papers, or prepare for tests you might just do some good working a few extra hours. Do what you want with the extra money you earn. You could buy food or clothes for the local food shelf or homeless shelter. You could donate some of that cash to your local church for Loaves and Fishes. Instead of working (for The Man) you could take a shift at the local food shelf, soup kitchen, or local church program. Other than that, you also could help other friends in school or you could see your family.

Sure, it isn't as much of an attention-getter at school. If you want to be an attention whore and claim you care about homeless folks... go rock your reel, pal. By all means, don't do anything useful. Get freezy-toes and get hungry for one night or even a couple of nights. Get a cold for a couple of days. After all you've got to help raise someone else's awareness.

No Justice

2007-11-15T11:50:00.000-06:00

Want to wipe the smirk off of almost anyone's face? Have him read the story about Meagan (linked in the post title).

You'll damn near cry. The problem is what to do... what can you do?

Read the story. The essentials are a 13 year old girl, a nice boy talking with her via MySpace, an eventual turn-around from the boy who then insults her and posts a number of vulgar smears, followed by the girl's suicide.

Turns out the boy wasn't a boy... it was adults, parents of one of Meagan's neighborhood friends. Meagan and the girl regularly were friends and then cold... apparently, the parents of the girl wanted to make Meagan feel as bad as their daughter had by creating a nice boy and then crushing her emotionally. Clearly they didn't make Meagan commit suicide, but they are the cause.

Meagan's parent mourn and are very frustrated... they are apparently divorcing. They can't do anything against the neighbors. Meagan's parents hope to see a state and/or federal law created to make such actions punishable.

Is that even possible? How could you prove it? I mean, clearly the parents of the other girl are jackasses, even if they wanted to protect their own daughter, but what they did was twisted in the extreme.

I just can't see how you would even begin to wrangle this legally... not without creating a huge problem.

Meagan's parents, Ron and Tina, are devastated as you can imagine. They want to make sure no one goes after the other parents as the police will immediately look to them. Maybe a prayer for Meagan and her family is in order.

Minor UPDATE: 2:10 pm, Friday November 23, 2007
The Admiral posted on this subject at Anti-Strib.

Apparently, city officials passed a law against cyber-harassment.

The penalty: A $500 fine and 90 days in jail. A misdemeanor.

Hardly the sort of punishment you would pin on folks who were the inadvertant cause of your daughter's suicide... and to where do you go from there? Isn't there already some kind of law for severe harassment on the books in some places? Wouldn't it apply to harassment via the Internet? Again, is is necessary?

We are setting a very dangerous precedent with political correctness in this country. Our rights are slowly and methodically being limited with "good intentions" being the excuse. Communism took hold by "good intentions" and we are not paying attention to history.

In the Comment section, Ed provided a link to the story as reported in the Enemy Paper. Unfortunately, his analysis in the Comment section is pretty lean.

Apparently there was no law against it, and maybe there needn't be, but what they did sure was mean.

I'm just going to take the opportunity to make the same comment I made to The Admiral... you guys are a day late and a dollar short. (Ed's comment might be two dollars short.)

Local conservative and frequent reader of the Anti-Strib (who would make a great addition to Minnesota politics as an elected official) Sue Jeffers adds:

I think MN passed a cyber bulling bill this past session of which I predict will be as effective as the ban on bullying on the playground that was passed a couple years ago.

Lots of foolish state laws become federal laws. More people should dust off their copy of the Constitution.

Unfortunately, what Sue said could apply to any number of proposed bills and laws in the world of local, state, and federal politics. (Again, with this attitude Sue would make a great contribution in the political world.)

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Cold

2007-11-06T12:22:00.000-06:00

Not much happening... not much will happen for some time. The story has gone colder than the comments.

It looks like Zachary Ross Barton (19), Travis John Erzar (20), and Casey James Fenske (19)...

...made their second appearance in State District Court in Lake County in Two Harbors today.

As mentioned earlier, Barney James Lakner (37... isn't that creepy?) and Jay Andrew Olson (19) are scheduled to appear in court later...

The so-called Rule 8 hearings were held in front of Judge Kenneth Sandvik, but no pleas were en-tered. Omnibus hearings are scheduled for December 3. Any trials won’t be held until next year.

That's probably all, then.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Some Delay

2007-11-05T11:57:00.000-06:00

Nothing yet on the Ely Six, but two have a delayed court appearance.

From Mesabi Daily News in Virginia, MN

...several of those accused in the BWCAW rampage last summer will appear again to answer to the terroristic threats charges in Sixth District Court in Two Harbors Monday.

[....]

In Two Harbors, Zachary Ross Barton, 19, Travis John Erzar, 20, and Casey James Fenske, 19, all of Ely, will appear before Judge Kenneth Sandvik at 10 a.m. Suspects Barney James Lakner, 37, and Jay Andrew Olson, 19, both of Ely, had their appearances delayed until Dec. 3 at 10 a.m. A 16-year-old boy has also been charged in the case.

Between them, the six stand charged with 79 separate counts of terroristic threats, harassment, theft and other charges after drinking and allegedly terrorizing many campers on Basswood Lake on Aug. 7. The threats by the group of six also allegedly included gunfire (with an assault rifle and a pistol), the lighting off of fireworks, alcohol consumption and lighting the water on fire with gasoline, according to the criminal complaint.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Still to Come

2007-11-02T16:41:00.000-05:00

Perhaps a small update on the horizon?

The next court appearance for the five adults is scheduled for Nov. 5 at 10:00 a.m.

We'll find out next week.

Courtesy: Timberjay Newspapers

Still Racists?

2007-10-30T17:55:00.000-05:00

“Conservatives are described over and over as mean-spirited, war-loving, greedy, bigoted, racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, homophobic, sexist, intolerant and oblivious to human suffering.”

Not much of a news flash. I’ve known about this, personally for some time… and later discovered that others were subject to the same smears and distortions. (See Ann Coulter’s “Slander”.) Left-leaners say this, especially online, almost reflexively. With some left-leaners the response comes so naturally you begin to wonder whether or not these folks actually believe it sincerely.

The quote comes from a recent column by Dennis Prager (The Left and the Term “Islamo-Fascism”). He discusses a recent speech… where he disarmed university students with his reasoning, sense of humor, and otherwise simply by being himself as opposed to the distorted image they expected.

“For the last couple of decades now, name-calling has been the principal argument liberals have deployed against conservative arguments.

“If Republicans opposed the National Endowment for the Arts, they were said to hate art. If Republicans opposed the Department of Education, they were said to hate teachers. If Republicans opposed the Environmental Protection Agency, they were said to hate the environment. Opposition to the government spending money on anything was invariably attacked as hatred for the thing money was to be spent on.”

As I mentioned earlier, Ann Coulter wrote a book on left-leaners targeting conservatives and Republicans with unrelated comments like hate, racist, ugly, mean, etc. Some simply diminish conservative arguements and politcies down to mere intolerance and bigotry.

It gets said all too often... and the recipiant, or his comrades, rarely seem to stand up against the smear. If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.

“Liberals are like the monkeys in Rudyard Kipling's "The Jungle Book" who explain: "We all say so, and so it must be true."”

The monkeys who think they understand conservatives and believe they cracked the reasons why we simply don't think like they do probably wouldn't hold on to these rediculous ideas if only more conservatives would speak up.

It happens at work. My boss and at least one immediate co-worker appear to be big anti-Bush folks. Not only that, they occasionally denigrate conservative political views. I simply respond in a friendly and jovial manner. I use humor the way they use it... and I make it clear that I like talking with these people regardles of the subject and whether or not we agree.

Someone else at work maintains the quote section of our home page... always an anti-Bush comment. Someone had changed things around for a while and we were getting various humorous or historical quotes... however, it was not to last. We're back on the "classic" stand-by quote. So be it. Some folks need to feel secure.

Again, mention it. Just point it out. Simply remind the person that, for example, “My support for the war doesn’t make me bigoted… it simply doesn’t follow.” Someone disagrees with who I support in the 2008 elections and calls me intolerant, so I say, “An interesting argument, please explain.” About two years ago some rabid woman proceeded to claim that I was intolerant as well as mean... all after speaking with me for about an hour. What’s more, she acted quite rudely. You can’t imagine my delight in pointing out that her intolerance made for a rather unpleasant evening out with friends.

All of this reminds me of my old man’s take on Dennis Prager. About a year ago I visited my mom and dad and the subject of radio came up. I mentioned to my mom, who enjoys Limbaugh, that if she doesn’t like one of Rush’s guest-hosts she should tune in to Dennis Prager. When talking to anyone about radio I always refer to Prager as a great radio tonic for anyone who simply doesn’t like Rush Limbaugh… regardless of whether the listener is more conservative or liberal. My mom took the advice, but my dad pooh-poohed Prager. He dismissed him as just like all the others… or words to that effect. He’s not a liberal, but he doesn’t have time for talk shows other than Soucheray. I told him that in spite of what he might have heard from others, that’s not Prager… he’s very fair with callers and fair with discussion. His responses are measured and thought out.

Go ahead and disagree with Prager, but you’ll have a hard time likening him to a guy like Savage or Levin or the late Morton Downy, Jr.

Cultural Conservatives: Meanies

2007-10-19T12:11:00.000-05:00

A number of years ago one of my uncles mentioned he liked "that new Huey Lewis and the News song" called Hip to Be Square. I like my uncles and they are all characters, but this uncle never seemed to worry about what folks thought of him. He always had a joke or an air of fun about him. Normally, you think your parents simply do not hold the genetic make-up for hip, cool, or anything you want to be associated with when you're in school or growing up. Your aunts and uncles have a little more flexibility, since they often seem to let their hair down. This uncle was not hip, but not unhip... I suspect presicely because he wasn't worried whether or not he was hip.

Since that time I really enjoyed Hip to Be Square. In my days of service on radio in Small Town, America I regularly played the song... even when it wasn't part of my scheduled playlist. Beyond that, I've mostly hovered around in potential/probable geek territory. Marching band. Jazz ensemble. History classes in college. Role playing games. Doctor Who. British television. Canada's power trio Rush. Renaissance Festival. Talk radio. Blogging. You can't wipe all of that stink off from yourself too easily.

I enjoy mainstream entertainment and culture, just like anyone does. That's not the point... the point is that I enjoy more than a handful of music, film, television, hobbies, culture, and activities that are normally fairly small provinces or those with some kind of cult-fan status.

I also bristle with some mainstream culture, too... just like anyone does. Not only that, I'm willing to metaphorically kick a number of celebrities and public figures... I suspect, just like anyone does.

So Jonah Goldberg's column caught my attention.

...let me switch gears and share with you the plight of the cultural conservative. If I were to write a column condemning the commodified harlotry of all this, I would be the bad guy.

He's talking about Paris Hilton, Madonna, Pam Anderson-Lee-Rock (now Anderson-Lee-Rock-Salomon... or is that Salomon-Rock-Lee-Anderson?) and any number of others in the world of some-kind-of celebrity.

That's fish in a barrel isn't it? Surely, it is not difficult or courageous to call Madonna or Pam Anderson a whore. (That might be giving short shrift to actual whores.) At least enough people in our culture look at them as out of the ordinary and even bizarre. That's not all. Cultural conservatives have been using these hedonistic tramps on display as extreme examples of what is wrong with the youth culture and culture in general... while the opposition pooh-poohs the criticism as overly judgemental. They might even suggest reasonably that Paris, Pam, Madonna, and their ilk are so far gone that no one backs them (we merely point and stare at the freaks)... and that most reasonable folks are concerned with the common misbehaviors of today's youth.

Let me use the word whore again. I would not want my daughter dressing like Madonna simply because it is trashy at best and at worst makes the wearer look like a whore. For that attitude, I'm not simply L-7.

It seems like the entire culture has adopted the "turn-ons" and "turn-offs" from one of Anderson's centerfold bios. Turn-ons: kids, animals, good food, good times. Turn-offs: uptight squares, scolds and all-around "meanies."

How many parents (back when I was a mere teen) thought of their kids' friends as looking a little trashy, or dressing far too maturely (with the word used as a euphamism), or acting far too casual (with the word used as another euphamism)? It is almost a cliche.

...For years, conservatives criticized the likes of Madonna for proselytizing commercialized decadence, and conservatives routinely came out the losers. The press, generally being liberal, disliked the perceived censorial uptightness of conservative "culture warriors." The press, also being professionally and personally infatuated with celebrity, instinctively defended stars over the meanies, because stars boost ratings and get you into glamorous parties. The meanies stay home with their kids.

But here's the thing: Conservatives were right about Madonna, and even Madonna has partially admitted as much. The problem is that Madonna - like Hilton and Anderson - is irrelevant. These celebrities can afford their sins or, if you prefer, their mistakes because they're rich and famous. Madonna told one interviewer that she's never changed a diaper. How many "working moms" can say that?

What matters is the signal such people send.

That's what our parents were saying back then. It's true. What's more, on some level Madonna knows it.

...she typifies the bind conservatives are in. Madonna pioneered a certain kind of slattern chic in the 1980s and early 1990s. But as she got older and had kids, she grew up - a little. She said she was embarrassed by some of her earlier exploits. To a sycophantically sympathetic press, she announced that she was going to be a good mom, not "the Material Girl."

That should have surprised anyone. All of her fans said the same thing. Some of them made good on their resolutions. Some didn't, namely...

Actually, she made these announcements fairly regularly, perhaps because she kept falling off the maturity wagon. In response to one such revelation, ABC News proclaimed: "She was in the pages of Playboy, published her own book on sex, and kissed Britney Spears in a live stage performance, but Madonna tells ABC News' 20/20 she may be through with propelling her celebrity with sex."

Again, the message and the signal they send out... that's what concerns folks.

In the same vien, cultural and social conservatives don't want schoolgirls ages 11 to 14 getting birth control from the school nurse. My mom tells me she was livid that we received an advert in the mail for my sister from Planned Parenthood around her 17th birthday. Obviously parents don't want their daughters knocked-up, but that doesn't mean they want them practicing. Since then the age of girls in the target market for birth control has obviously dropped down considerably.

Can you imagine having an 11 year old daughter or neice getting birth control without her parent's consent? Who wants that?

Apparently I'm mean, judgemental, and old fashioned. Perhaps, but it's hip to be square.

Son of a Gun: Joey Bishop Dead at 89

2007-10-18T12:45:00.000-05:00

Aside from being the ultimate inevitable, the last of the Rat Pack would sooner or later fade away.

The death of the Rat Pack happened quite some time ago, first with changes (both for better and for worse) in entertainment and the culture. Then, perhaps insignificantly, Peter Lawford died in 1984. Sure, he wasn't crucial to the guys... but that was another sign of their time gone.

Obviously when Sammy (in 1990) and Dean (in 1995) died a generation felt a great loss in the world of entertainment and in the history of American Cool. (I've commented a couple of times on Dean and his death.) If that wasn't enough, clearly the death of Sinatra (1998) was the 16-ton weight.

Now, the mouse in the Rat Pack.

Joey Bishop, the stone-faced comedian who found success in nightclubs, television and movies but became most famous as a member of Frank Sinatra's Rat Pack, has died at 89.

[...]

Bishop died Wednesday night of multiple causes at his home in Newport Beach, publicist and longtime friend Warren Cowan said Thursday.

Was he just another extra for Frank, Dean, and Sammy? Sintara didn't think so.

He termed the comedian "the Hub of the Big Wheel," with Bishop coming up with
some of the best one-liners and beginning many jokes with his favorite phrase,
"Son of a gun!"

[....]

In 1941 Bishop married Sylvia Ruzga and,
despite the rigors of a show business career, the marriage survived until her
death in 1999.

Bishop, who had one son, Larry, spent his retirement
years on the upscale Lido Isle in Southern California's Newport Bay.

Hard to think that "son of a gun" would make a great catch phrase, but apparently it did on stage with the rest of the boys, and in his television show.

I suspect Mitchel at Our Word might be able to tell you a thing or two about Joey's stint as a television talk show host and a sub for Johnny Carson. [Sure enough he did.] I vaguely remember him sitting in on "The Tonight Show" and not knowing who in the flaming hootie-hoo he was.

Still unavailable on video and DVD, "Sergeants 3"... a reworking of the great "Gunga Din" which is a wonderfully fun film, but apparently not everyone thought "Sergeants 3" measured up to its inspiration, or "Oceans 11".

All the same, I'd still like to see it and put it on my shelf. I even have "4 For Texas" with just Dean and Frank (and Ursula Andress and Anita Ekberg, va-va-va-VOOM!) and that doesn't seem to have been fondly thought of over the years.

Prevent Crime: Give to Beggars (Update with meeting notes)

2007-10-15T10:10:00.000-05:00

Funny, isn't it... some people in local government and politics believe the hold a possition of leadership and should lead instead of follow when it comes to taking care of the city they represent.

I suspect some folks might call that old fashioned... and in a derogatory way. I, on the contrary, appreciate and respect that kind of attitude.

A few weeks ago I saw a beggar who apparently hopes he doesn't need to steal. At least that is what he scribbled on his sign.

I reported the man to the local police, although I suspected they would do nothing. Then I e-mailed a link to my post to the city council. Apparently, they discussed it briefly.

Council Meeting Minutes -3- September 25, 2007

Council Member Wroge asked how the City handles beggars standing along the highway,
specifically referring to the person holding the sign “I’d rather beg than rob”.

Public Safety Director Scott stated the City of Minneapolis recently amended their ordinance on this issue and it only addresses verbal encounters not signage because of potential conflicts with the First Amendment.

City Attorney [Corrine] Thomson said she was not giving an opinion because she has not studied the issue but it appears conduct deemed harassing and disorderly is trying to be addressed not signage which needs close review for First Amendment rights. She said she did not believe the sign constituted a threat.

Council Member Wroge stated he disagreed, he did take it as a threat and it should not be tolerated. Richfield needs to be a leader not a follower to regulate behavior.

Thank you Councilman Wroge. I'll try to keep my eyes open for future developments or related incidents.

Anyone have an opinion for the council or for Richfield's attorney?

Richfield City Hall
6700 Portland Avenue
Richfield, MN 55423
(612) 861-9700
(612) 861-9749 (fax)
citycouncil@cityofrichfield.org

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Slight Update

2007-10-09T12:31:00.001-05:00

A story on the Ely Six and the BWCA idiocy popped up on Friday in Newsweek. We now have photos of three more of Ely's finest, upstanding, well-behaved, well-adjusted, big-talkers (and junk-beer-drinkers).

Let's all look at the jackasses: Barney Lakner, 37; Jay Olson, 19; Travis Erzar, 20; Casey Fenske, 19; and Zachary Ross Barton, 19.
The photograph and identity of 16 year old MU (refered to in the criminal complaint) will not be released as he is a defendant.

God help those who witnessed these lads swimming naked.

Let's have a recap:

* Barney James Lakner, 37, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, 11 felony counts of harassment, two felony counts of possession of firearms, two gross misdemeanor counts of theft, and one misdemeanor count each of transporting an uncased firearm, reckless discharge of a firearm and possession and use of fireworks.

* Jay Andrew Olson, 19, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, 12 felony counts of harassment, two felony counts of criminal damage to property, two gross misdemeanor counts of theft, one gross misdemeanor count of possession of stolen property, and one misdemeanor count each of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

* Travis John Erzar, 20, charged with three felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment and one misdemeanor count of underage consumption.

* Casey James Fenske, 19, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment, one felony count of criminal damage to property, and misdemeanor counts of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

* Zachary Ross Barton, 19, charged with three felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment and one misdemeanor count each of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

While we wait for more developments (and perhaps more pictures) we hear from Lakner's mother-in-law in the Newsweek story:

Dina Hill, a lifelong Ely resident and Lakner’s mother-in-law, worries about how this will impact her daughter and their children. "We have to hope for the best. It could just go away or it could be a medium punishment or full force,” she says. “You just shake your head 'cause these are all good kids. It was just stupidity. They were just showing off."

Showing off? If that is the case, then some of those campers were exaggerating quite a bit... still a possibility, but I'm going to hedge my bet that if these six were in fact showing off then they are all ginormous jackasses.

Here's another report from last week: WCCO: Ely distances itself from a rage against visitors.

Sitting and Waiting

2007-10-08T11:05:00.000-05:00

What to write about? The Lakner case from the BWCA (or, as Soucheray refers to it, the BWCABACWAACWCWBCABBAACWCABAWACACAAACAWCA) didn’t move ahead significantly on October 1st (which should have been no surprise, but I was hoping otherwise). The beggar/would-be-burglar case has not moved ahead yet. Nothing else has really grabbed me recently… however, I haven’t been scouring the news for information much, either. I’m behind on reading a number of columns… namely Williams and Sowell.

Recently, I watched a couple of films in an attempt to whittle away the back-log of unseen films and series. Most of these were new. Kenneth Branagh’s “As You Like It” was pretty good, although I probably enjoyed “Much Ado About Nothing” more. Stalone’s “Rocky Balboa” pleasantly surprised me and the wife. We also set the Way-Back Machine for 1976 since she never saw “Rocky”. She was surprised that it didn’t fit the cliché that the franchise became. “Fantastic 4” proved to be quite enjoyable pulp… and we’re ready to borrow a friend’s DVD of the sequel. “The Shootist” was everything my friends said… a wonderful coda to the Duke’s career and to Western films.

Still to come… “The Great Escape” (which I started some time ago, but I keep getting interrupted), another Marilyn Monroe film, “Operation: Petticoat” since my wife loves it, the BBC/Derek Jacobi version of “Hamlet” from the early 80s, and “The Day the Earth Stood Still”.

Every year in October I hope to sit my wife down in front of a horror film. She usually balks at the good ones, since they are usually pretty thrilling or frightening. A few years ago she gave in to “Alien”, but missed much of it. A little victory, I suppose. I really want her to see something like “Vertigo”, “Psycho”, “the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”, or perhaps one of the Hammer films (perhaps “Curse of Frankenstein” or “Horror of Dracula”). I suppose I’d settle for “Bubba Hotep”, “Jaws”, or “Fight Night”.

Prevent Crime: Give to Beggars (Update)

2007-10-04T21:18:00.000-05:00

Link to the City of Richfield video... see the September 25th meeting.

Since I sent this story to the City Council, I've heard back from one of the council members. The city attorney says, as expected, that this is a matter of free speech on behalf of the man (who many not-so-veiled threats to burglarize and thieve). However, she plans to go over this case and get back to the City Council.

I hope to hear back about this, too. I might be going to another council meeting.

Prevent Crime: Give to Beggars (Update)

2007-09-26T10:08:00.000-05:00

What to do about beggars in Richfield who claim they would prefer to beg than steal? Tracy from Anti-Strib notes that those two options surely cannot be the only two (if, in fact, the guy is just making easy, tax-free money).

I posted several links in my previous post... two included a list of charities in the Richfield area. Of course, the alternative that Tracy suggested was a four letter word... and I don't mean off-color.

This morning, I received an e-mail message from the City of Richfield:

Your first e-mail was forwarded to the City Council, the City Manager and Public Safety Director on September 24. I will forward this one to those individuals today.

The City Council discussed this issue at last night's City Council Meeting. The meeting should be linked to our website (www.cityofrichfield.org) later this afternoon so you can watch it (Channel 16, click on view programming). Also, the council meeting will be rebroadcast on Richfield's Cable Channel 16 beginning Sat, at 3 p.m., Sunday at 5 p.m. and Wed. at 7 p.m.

If you have any additional questions, you may want to contact the Richfield Public Safety Director, Dan Scott at 612-861-9810 or dscott@cityofrichfield.org

As of yet, I don't see anything in the City Council Agendas and Minutes, however we all know the pace at which bureaucracy and government move. For better and for worse.

I'll check later today... maybe I'll update this post with a link to the video. Checking the agenda, nothing obvious shows up. I'll try to read it when I have a moment.

BWCA Idiocy and Mayhem: Update

2007-09-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

Only a few days since this post, but traffic is way up and some punk suggests I'm going to get a civil lawsuit.

You remember the stalwarts of Ely, don't you? Take some time to refresh yourself with the story... visit the links in my previous post.

The group included Barney Lakner / Barney James Lakner (37), Jay Olson / Jay Andrew Olson (19), Zachary Barton / Zachary Ross Barton (19), Travis Erzar / Travis John Erzar (20), Casey Fenske / Casey James Fenske (19), and an unnamed 16 year old boy (check the criminal complaint, he's MU... and according to interviews with these jackasses, MU talks tough for a little kid of 16).

Ready? Then let's look at some of the charges:

* Zachary Ross Barton, 19, charged with three felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment and one misdemeanor count each of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

* Travis John Erzar, 20, charged with three felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment and one misdemeanor count of underage consumption.

* Casey James Fenske, 19, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, six felony counts of harassment, one felony count of criminal damage to property, and misdemeanor counts of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

* Barney James Lakner, 37, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, 11 felony counts of harassment, two felony counts of possession of firearms, two gross misdemeanor counts of theft, and one misdemeanor count each of transporting an uncased firearm, reckless discharge of a firearm and possession and use of fireworks.

* Jay Andrew Olson, 19, charged with four felony counts of terroristic threats, 12 felony counts of harassment, two felony counts of criminal damage to property, two gross misdemeanor counts of theft, one gross misdemeanor count of possession of stolen property, and one misdemeanor count each of reckless discharge of a firearm and underage consumption.

(Emphasis mine.)

Hmmm. If I was charged with terrorizing and shooting mayhem in the Boundary Waters, the last thing I would be concerned with is some guy with a blog who is quoting the news, slinging insults, and speculating that he hits on young men after giving them beer.

Not only that:

...the Ontario Provincial Police also are investigating the incident. It’s unclear whether Canadian charges will be brought for violations of Canadian firearms laws.

Federal charges and potential charges from another country, too?

Not only that:

Items authorities recovered from the suspects’ two boats included a high-powered, semi-automatic assault-style rifle with three 30-round clips, a .45 caliber semi-automatic pistol, a .22 caliber rifle, a .22 caliber pistol, ammunition, spent shell casings, fireworks residue, beer and items stolen from one campsite.

(Emphasis mine.)

What was it that Olson kid said?

According to the Star-Tribune, [Olson] told investigators that the men "kind of pushed it, yeah. We should have stopped."

Clearly the brains of the operation.

Just a little "fun" as Barton apparently said... you know, because they simply wanted to "stir things up a bit".

The man old enough to buy beer, Lakner (who apparently has such poor taste that he drinks Pabst), was in such a mood for cute fun:

Lakner was wearing a knit hat with fake dreadlocks attached to it. [Lake County Sheriff’s Deputy Jim] Hoberg had known Lakner for over 20 years, but did not recognize him at first.

During the pat-search, Hoberg noticed Lakner was wearing a .45 caliber semi-automatic side arm and had another bullet clip on his belt.

Just a reminder in case you didn't look at the original story (or didn't see this in the Duluth News Tribune), the criminal complaint stated that these fine young boys (at least one of which wears a dopey expression on his face) and a grown man (with a desire to get young men buzzed cheap beer and take them out to skinny-dip) yelled at some campers hiding in the woods and threatened to kill one camper and rape the camper's daughter.

Ah, their parents should be so proud.

As the officers continued arrest procedures, they heard the second boat approaching and instructed the first three suspects to remain silent.

However, Lakner continually talked louder, according to the complaint, apparently trying to alert the second boat of their situation. Ely Police Officer Chad Hood began to escort Lakner to a squad car about 50 yards away, but Lakner persisted shouting to the point that Hood had to wrestle him to the ground and cover his mouth.

Lakner apparently doesn't mind tangling with a cop from the Northern stretch of Minnesota in the wee hours. I'm telling you, this guy has issues.

In all, Deputy Hoberg and Agent Elkins talked to at least 80 people regarding the case.

If convicted, penalties for each count of aiding and abetting terroristic threats, harassment and firearms possession is five years incarceration, or a $10,000 fine, or both. Theft penalties include one year incarceration, a $3,000 fine, or both. Reckless discharge of a firearm, transporting an uncased firearm, and possession and use of fireworks all have penalties of 90 days incarceration, a $1,000 fine, or both.

(Emphasis mine.)

I'm not saying... I'm just saying.

The five were summoned to make their initial appearance in Lake County District Court on Oct. 1.

I get to update this story in next month, too! Maybe I'll quote the criminal complaint and provide some of the language these boys admit to making.

I think my blogging might pick up a little over the next two weeks. Just a hunch.

Prevent Crime in Richfield: Give to Beggars

2007-09-21T17:55:00.000-05:00

I got home early today... whoo-hoo. However, the drive home lead me to this sight.
That isn't exactly what I saw. (This picture comes from my return visit.) He actually opened up a cigar pack, unwrapped what must have been a cheap cigar, light it up, and puffed away. He also had a bottle of iced tea on the ground and some other stuff.

For reference:
The Portland exit from Crosstown.
44°53'27.87"N
93°16'3.60"W

Off the top of my head, I know at least three families within 1.5 miles of this spot. I've been driving through this area for well over twenty years. This year marks the only year I've seen so-called beggars on that patch... and so far I think I'm only up to four.

Perhaps I've seen them before and forgotten about them. I don't know. All the same I really don't want them there anyway. Especially when they have a sign like this one.

"I'd rather beg - than robb - God bless"

Written out poorly, with the word rob misspelled, and a good old God bless thrown in for good measure.

Really? That's your message??? Fine... I've got a message.

So, I drove down to the Richfield Police Department, which wasn't as far away as I thought. I wasn't hopeful that they would do much, or be able to do much. That's why I made a return trip with my handy camera.

Within about an hour I was back at the on ramp... there he was, cigarless this time. Thanks for posing, Scruffy.

For crying out loud, Richfield... get rid of these guys.

City of Richfield

Richfield Mayor and City Council

Richfield City Hall
6700 Portland Avenue
Richfield, MN 55423
(612) 861-9700
(612) 861-9749 (fax)
citycouncil@cityofrichfield.org

Richfield Public Safety Department
(612) 861-9800

Charity Guide: Richfield

How Do You Rack Up 79 Criminal Charges at the Boundary Waters?

2007-09-18T21:41:00.000-05:00

I'm guessing it is just like getting to Carnegie Hall. (Practice.)

Big story in the Strib... I heard about it on Garage Logic today while taking a quick break from work.

Apparently, back in early August a group of guys got drunk on some Pabst up in the Boundary Waters, acted like complete jackasses, yelled and swore at some campers, fired guns, launched some fireworks, and threatened to rape or even kill members of a family.

Christ, and folks in the South get tarred as jackasses. Folks, geography doesn't fence this stuff in.

One family's daughter claims these folks were less than civil:

At one point, Marina Koller told authorities, one of the men said, "Maybe if you make us s'mores for an hour, we won't ... kill you!"[The men said] they were going to kill me and rape us all, in very graphic terms,"

The group included Barney James Lakner (37), Jay Andrew Olson (19), Zachary R. Barton (19), Travis J. Erzar (20), Casey J. Fenske (19), and an unnamed 16 year old boy.

Lakner looks more like a 48 year old sex offender... just take a look:

Barney J. Lakner... jackass

Okay, he's probably not a sex offender... we hope he's not a sex offender. I suspect he a least fell out of the dumb-shit tree (and hit some of the biggest branches on the way down).

A 37 year old guy drinking, boating, shooting, and threatening rape along with a bunch of guys barely old enough to be legally termed "men"... and a minor. I suspect this Lakner guy has some BIG issues. If I were one of the parents of any of these other punk-ass, dork-faced, no-account, good-for-nothing, dim-bulb, one beer away from date-rape jackasses I would (after playing a little chin music) want to speak with Mr. Lakner regarding the relationship he may (or may not) have with my son.

According the the Strib story:

Two of the men skinny-dipped.

Yeah, I'm fine with my body... I don't mind being naked if there is a reason... but I can't really see the need to go get naked with a man roughly 20 years older than me. What's more, I really see no reason to strip off and swim with boys roughly 20 years younger than me.

However, maybe one of the guys was this prize winning genius:

Jay A. Olson... moron

...and if he was, I might just disown the moron. (I might also expect that some 37 year old guy convinced him to strip down and swim.)

According to the Star-Tribune, he told investigators that the men "kind of pushed it, yeah. We should have stopped."

Wow! The kid's got a great future as a Monday morning quarterback.

Going back to the creepy-looking Lakner, he had an interesting time back in Spring of 2004... look at this:

Illegal Snowmobilers Apprehended in BWCAW

During a snowmobile patrol on Saturday, March 6, Forest Service law enforcement officers apprehended five men who were illegally snowmobiling on Crooked Lake, north of Ely, inside the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCAW).

[...]

All five individuals charged in this case are residents, or former residents, of Ely, including: Barney J. Lakner, 34; David R. Marttila, 40; Thomas N. Edman, 40; Mark E. Merhar, 38; and Thomas M. Gardiepy, 35. An investigation is ongoing into other possible related violations.

My Spider-Sense tells me this Lakner fellow might have one or two other black marks on his record. Call it a hunch.

The Ely Echo suggests looking them up now and again for updates and a follow-up story.

The Lake County, MN website has an out-of-date press release regarding Lakner and Olson... perhaps they might step up to the plate with new information in the next week.

Jerk on a Bike

2007-09-13T14:00:00.000-05:00

I nearly killed a guy while driving to work today. Biker moron. Actually, that’s a bike moron. I’ve never seen a motorcycle moron… plenty of bike morons, though. Especially, in Highland.

While approaching an intersection with stop lights a bus stopped in the far right lane… probably picking folks up. I’ve got the green light… which means the cross traffic has a red light. Even my boy knows that a red light means stop. (He says it all the time.)

Since its Highland, I’m not running fast… the neighborhood pretty much maxes out at 30 MPH. Not only that, I’ve got an effing bus blocking my view from anyone on the curb, so I'm careful. This guy comes out of no where. (They always do.) He didn’t peek around the bus… the damn fool rode his bike past the bus and then looked. However, he didn’t stop. Ever. Effing stunod keeps going and waves at me, apparently to let me know he saw me.

Great! You saw me… so why did you keep going? What if I hadn’t seen you? You wouldn’t stop a two-thousand pound bullet, jackass. Do I need some bike moron’s death on my conscious? Hell no. Do the neighborhood a favor and get the Hell out of here.

I rolled down the window and yelled,

“What in the flaming hootie-hoo is all that about!”

I should have said, “I hope you get cancer of the eyes!” Not that I’d actually wish that on anyone.

Lucky to Suffer a Tantrum

2007-09-11T14:49:00.001-05:00

Apparently, I'm not prepared. Our flag has not flown outside the house since the pole warped with the tightening screw. (Apparently, the flag etiquette regarding leaving it outside at night and in the rain is more for protecting cheap-ass flagpoles than the flag.)

We've been meaning to fix it or replace it... but we've left that chore sit for some time.

Maybe this will encourage me and the wife to take care of that.

Then again, we really don't feel inclined... not because of a lack of patriotism (or some overwhelming sense of lefty-patriotism, or as it is more commonly described: moonbat activism). We're just looking for a house.

Maybe that's not a good enough excuse. I know if we fixed the set-up, the boy would love to put it out and take it down each day.

Speaking of which, the wife says he engaged the dreaded "Sass Mode"... with the "Obnoxious Behavior Mode" around the same time he experienced a "Leaky Diaper / Runny Poo" fault.

The wife is sick... and she was late. Needless to say she didn't enjoy the attitide (and actions) the boy threw her way. She needed to vent. Perhaps I should have let her vent a little longer, but all I could think was: "A number of folks don't have the luxury of dealing with an obnoxious, sassy, pain-in-the-ass toddler anymore."

That's not to say the boy should get his way. That's not to say we should let him act out. That's not to say he shouldn't be punish. I just figured it might give her pause for thought and not be so rattled.

She's still sick. Now she's at home where she doesn't need to talk (she's losing her voice). She can dress very comfortably. She can drink as much water and eat as much hot soup as possible. She can also get hopped on sinus medication.

Hopefully she'll feel better tonight... and the boy will have improved his attitude.

Here Comes Autumn

2007-09-04T10:23:00.000-05:00

Not more than a week ago I smelled Fall in the air. For some reason August played cool, which felt wonderful. Now, we're getting some more heat, but it will feel like Fall again soon enough.

I love autumn. Somehow it smells like school and new books and old friends. It represents the end of baseball and the beginning of football. (For that alone, Fall makes me think of George Carlin and HBO comedy specials.) Often enough, it led to a new Rush album and a new season of television (and with it, sweeps).

I remember one particular fall in high school (probably my senior year) where our football team played an away game. A downpour of rain hit after we changed from our marching band uniforms... my leather jacket took a beating from mother nature. The rain was really only the first step... after that, it developed quite a lot of character. I still have it, but my arms are a little longer. (According to my doctor's visit this morning I'm certainly not as scrawny as I was back then.)

Symbolicly, autumn preceeds death... the fall of man leading to the cold and sterile winter. (Got that from one of my great high school teachers... Melchoir.) My family might see that symbolism realized as one of my uncles is not in great health. That's all speculation, of course, and hopefully he'll be around for a long time. However, it's just a reminder that my older relatives will eventually go and he is no exception.

The more and more I see my uncle (and, I need to visit him soon), he reminds me more of my grandfather. My uncle's face seems round like my grandfather. He grins like my grandfather. A few years ago at a family reunion our big picture turned out great... and my uncle didn't so much grin as beam. Maybe he's just a funny old guy now. I still remember him with a cigar from all of the old family holidays when I was but a curmudgeon in training... like Thanksgiving in the fall.

Strib Letter: Go Ahead, Pay More

2007-08-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

Again, we are asked to pay more, more, more. By who?

Do you really need to ask?

Willing to pay for a better Minnesota...

Lieutenant Governor Molnau: For the record I would be willing to pay a bridge safety tax of 35 cents for every gallon of gas I purchase. Don't underestimate the willingness of Minnesotans to invest in what really matters.

LARRY WICHLINSKI, ST. PAUL

Glad to hear you've volunteered, Larry. Go ahead... start paying more willingly. Just don't expect to impose your desires on everyone else.

On a related note:

An Aug. 7 letter writer asks, "Why is our money being spent on things that aren't absolutely necessary?"

Given the redundancy of modifying "necessary" with "absolutely," we can deduce that the writer is pretty serious about putting a stop to all these frivolous purchases like theaters, museums, park, sports venues and light rail. All that is "necessary" (absolutely) is food, water and probably, in Minnesota, shelter.

The writer should understand that the other amenities are what attract businesses to a city, augmented by a reputation for excellent medical care and good schools. People with good salaries create a solid tax base. Investment generates revenue. Professionals want to take the kids to Twins game, or spend an afternoon at a special exhibition or see a live theater production or even an opera. If we don't provide that type of environment, they can always go somewhere that does aspire to be world class.

But wait! I have a better idea! The world, and even the United States, has plenty of grim and joyless cities, deprived of investment, destined to mediocrity. Instead of sucking all the life, beauty and livability out of the Twin Cities, why doesn't the writer just move to one of those cities? Everybody wins.

ANNTOINETTE GURVIN, BURNSVILLE

Here's a better idea, Anntoinette: instead of making taxpayers front for unnecessary items that you consider investments in sparks of joy, why not start investing yourself. Pool your resources. Wrangle up funding. Collect donations of money and volunteer work. Why should the taxpayers cough it up?

You folks want to spread the pain of paying for everything to all of us. You want us to pay for your joy.

Laughing at the Dead

2007-08-13T11:16:00.000-05:00

Growing up in my day you couldn’t help but know Merv Griffin. At least, you knew him as much as anyone you saw on television. Gene Rayburn, Bob Barker, Johnny Carson, Mr. Rogers, Lucy, and Merv Griffin.

My memory doesn’t capture anything specific about Merv, but I remember he was a television personality easy to like. In those days, you couldn’t be David Letterman or Howard Stern, much less Robert Downy, Jr. Even folks like Jackie Mason and Don Rickles were reserved for special venues… and you certainly wouldn’t have Rickles host a game show or interview guests. (I think "Mr. Warmth" guest hosted for Johnny a couple of times, but that must have been in the mid- to late 80s.)

Like Carson, Merv represents an era of entertainment that might not come back. I hope it will, but we’re not removed from our television shows or the personalities. Television was a window to another part of the country. We not only looked in on California and New York we looked in on national celebrities (in the true sense of the word). Now we see them at all hours of the day… and most of them are watered down celebrities.

According to Pat Sajak, Merv’s attitude was genuine.

…He was a dear friend to me and my family, and there was no better friend to have. First of all, Merv knew everyone. When you were with him, you rubbed shoulders with the most exciting and famous people on the planet. We vacationed together in some of the most glamorous spots in the world, and we stayed up very late laughing as long and hard as I’ve ever laughed in my life. No one ever told a story better, and no one ever had better stories to tell. And he was a great audience. That much-imitated laugh of his was completely genuine, and it breaks my heart that I will never hear it from him again.

…Whether on a TV show or in a living room, no one could make you feel more alive than Merv Griffin. His life was a celebration, and those of us who participated in it can’t help but feel blessed.

Merv would be very upset that his friends should be as sad as they are. He didn’t believe in sadness. He was upbeat, forward-looking and optimistic to the end…

I know, I know… Sajak? Look, say what you want about the guy, he’s got something.

A few members of my family passed away over the last few years. My Grandma Sue, my cousin Shell, and my Great Aunt Pat (Auntie Pat)… they were a riot. Sometimes a little abrasive, but I always remember them laughing. In fact, even at their funerals I wasn’t down. Knowing these folks you really couldn’t. They were real characters with big personalities.

Other family members and friends make me feel the same way. When they go I’m inclined to remember the joy they brought me and many other folks.

Can there be a better tribute to someone’s life than laughter and joy?

Strib-Letter:

2007-08-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm stunned. Someone at the Strib printed this letter:

RAISE THE GAS TAX?
No, forgo the frills

If I hear one more person whine about the need to raise taxes for bridges, I will pull out what little hair I have left.

Any politician who voted to give a single dime to any arts project, zoo, sports team or (insert nonessential boondoggle here) should be hiding his/her head. It is long past time that every government body -- be it city, county, state or federal -- get back to the fundamentals it is mandated to provide: basic infrastructure and the protection of the citizenry.

Until you get your act together, both Reps and Dems, a pox on both your houses. This bridge didn't collapse due to a lack of funding. It collapsed because politicians of both stripes got sidetracked from the necessities by the niceties, and the people asked them to ignore the difference between needs and wants. We all should recognize the difference.

JAY HUYCK, MAPLE GROVE

Thank you Jay. I guess I should thank the Strib, too.

Strib-Letter: You Are Cheap Killers

2007-08-08T16:33:00.000-05:00

From today's Netlets a man who blames himself, but points his finger at anyone who opposses reckless government spending.

The only real apology

I have been unable to sleep recently. Not because I can't imagine living without my wife who drove over the 35W bridge hours before the bridge collapse and survived, but because I feel responsible for the disaster itself.

In fact, we all need to own up to the "culture of cheap" in our government that we have either supported or didn't fight hard enough against for the past couple of decades. We have wasted the amazing infrastructure our parents and grandparents have given us by not maintaining it -- and we have paid dearly for that approach. I urge all of Minnesota to come together and support a new vision for our state and nation that puts real people ahead of "no new tax slogans," corporate tax giveaways, special interest groups and ill-conceived wars.

The only real apology we can offer now is to start supporting a government that is about more than a "culture of cheap." It's the least we can do for the victims of this disaster.

RUSSELL PETERSON, ST. MICHAEL

First he uses "it was me", then he swoops in with the "you, you, you".

Who, Mr. Russell Peterson of St. Michael, supported a so-called culture of cheap? Upon who are you painting blood?

You wouldn't by any chance be misstating your opposition's arguement and stance on taxes, would you? You wouldn't want to run a campaign for elected office with that tactic, would you?

Only 35 Actors at the BBC

2007-08-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

Something I haven't thought about in a few years... and James Lileks brought it to my attention today in The Bleat.

Lileks commented on a movie with Jack Webb called "The D.I."...

God bless Jack: Virginia Gregg has a role in the film. She played every single female on the Dragnet radio show and 57% of the women on the TV show. I swear: the more you listen to old time radio, the more you become convinced that the entire medium employed 14 actors, tops.

For years a friend of mine held a similar theory regarding the BBC. The Vid Master (a handle he used in the production of a newsletter) half-jokingly claimed that at any given time the BBC only employs 35 actors... and the evidence for this is watching any number of series from the BBC. Perhaps we should more accurately lsay that British Televison only employs 35 actors, since there is Channel Four, ITV, and who knows what else.

Just take a peek at the degrees of separation between "The Prisoner" and "Doctor Who"... I don't think there is a one-link connection, but Hell you can connect both with "Good Neighbors" (or, as the Brits call it, "The Good Life"). Leo McKern and Peter Boyles and Pennelope Keith alone connect a number of series and actors together. The guest appearances on "The Avengers" and "Good Neighbors" connect so many dots, and the sheer longevity of "Doctor Who" link more than a handful of shows with the legion of stalwarts who have popped into that series.

Of course, there's "Blake's Seven" and "Yes, Minister" and even "Jeeves and Wooster" (especially when coupled with "Black Adder").

In fact, I think I can link Kenneth Branagh to "Doctor Who".
He appeared in "Thompson" with his one-time-wife Emma Thompson. She appeared as a guest on "The Young Ones" with Hugh Laurie (star of "House M.D.") and Stephen Fry (among others). Hugh and Fry easily link to "Black Adder" starring Rowan Atkinson. Atkinson starred in a spoof of "Doctor Who" as the Doctor. (You might not have thought Atkinson would be suitable as the Doctor, even in a parody... however, he was letter perfect, staying on the right side of cliche.)

However, if you include film, Branagh get's to "Doctor Who" even easier... via Sir Derek Jacobi.

Burka Beach Babes

2007-08-07T10:45:00.000-05:00

Boy, do they look like they are having fun.
(I suspect, no one else will.)

Apparently, Hooters of America might just open up a restaurant in Dubai. I guess the company migth also get into Israel, too.

Who knows, maybe this could be the spearhead to peace... or additional Islamo-fascist terrorist war. All from the power of boobs.

C'mon... you know they hold great power. They are like the Ark of the Covenant.

Speaking of women in Islamic/Arab dress, I saw a few young ladies at the Original Pancake House yesterday... all of them that I could see were Indian or Iranian (or something just as hot). One had a scarf on her head, but the others didn't. Remarkable eyes on them.

Hmmm... tickets to Dubai?

"What the Hell was that?"

2007-08-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

The wife came home yesterday... wee! The boy was overjoyed. Breakfast at the Original Pancake House (whoo-hoo) and then a nap... then a trip to our friends' house for their son's first birthday (whoo-hoo).

The little goofball wanted to watch Superman later in the evening. Fine. I show him saving Lois Lane and the Daily Planet helicopter (still a great scene after almost 30 years), catching a jewelry thief climbing a building, stopping the bank robbers, and saving Air Force One. (Yeah, and the cat stuck up in a tree.) He wants more, so I show him a similar hero montage from the first Spider-Man film.

While the boy enjoyed it he loves watching Doc Ock and Spidey duke it out on top of an elevated train in Spider-Man II. He loves Spider-Man and he loves trains... what more could a kid want?

Now he's using a new phrase.

Not long after Spider-Man and Dr. Octopus begin fighting on top of the el-train, we get an interior shot of passengers surprised by the dents in the ceiling. Under the sound of the music score and the sound effects of the train one guy says, "What the Hell was that?!?!?!"

Apparently, he heard it and understood it.

Right between the B&D and me, our son earnestly starts asking questions:

"What the Hell was that? What the Hell happened to Spider-Man? What the Hell is happening to the train? What the Hell is going on?"

Uh, son... ah, you're going to... well, you know that the word you used, um... Momma? Where are you going?

She covered her mouth and claimed to need to finish cooking diner. (I thought I heard the sound of snickering as she climbed the steps.)

How in the Hell did I keep from laughing?

Strib-Letter: Appreciation

2007-08-03T13:20:00.000-05:00

I enjoy looking through Letters to the Editor (and Netlets) at the Star-Tribune. They often show the kind of thinking (left-leaning at best and moonbattery at worst) not just from the legion of hand-wringing readers, but from the reporters and editors inside the Red Star.

Ocassionally, they print a contrary opinion. Maybe they print them to show how "weird" those few and rare Minnesota conservatives think and live. However, sometimes they manage to understand the tone and the atmosphere of the subject at hand and they print the right letters.

This is where I give credit where credit is due.

Netlets for Thursday August 2

In the aftermath of Wednesday's bridge tragedy, Minnesotans can take pride in the bravery and professionalism of our emergency workers, and in reports of survivors who helped evacuate a school bus full of children before rushing on to safety.
We can honor their courage, and the memory of the lost, by broadening the definition of "homeland security" to include a sustained commitment to intelligently strengthen our country's aging infrastructure.

CARL SCHROEDER, MINNEAPOLIS

The only point I disagree with is in his last comment. Working on infrastructure such as roads and bridges is a role of government, one that shouldn't require special action.

KEEP THOSE HANDS AT WORK

And also in prayer

Let's thank God for the number of many hands that made lighter the work during the tragedy Wednesday. Let's remember that it will take many hands to do the same in the months and years to come.

A word to our elected officials: Put your finger-pointing hand to good use. Cover your mouth and think before speaking, and use your cell and keyboard to call upon creative, competent men and women to see that this doesn't happen again.

Finally, put both of your hands together and pray for wisdom and understanding. We'll be doing the same and keeping an eye on you.

JAY GUBRUD, ROSEVILLE

Mr. Walker, you should send a special letter to the Star-Tribune's own Nick Coleman. Who knows, perhaps the Strib printed his letter as a small counter to Coleman's rediculous column.

Letters to the Editor for Friday, August 3

HOW MINNESOTA RESPONDED
We stood tall ...

The collapse of the Interstate 35W bridge was truly a horrific event, and our sympathies should first and foremost be with the victims of this accident.

As I watched CNN and others unfold the grim details I realized a sense of pride in the way Minnesota was handling this disaster. The level of professionalism and preparedness shown by the responders and their leadership was unique in the face of this dire event. Those interviewed by the media, whether they were police, fire, medical or others, spoke with compassion, concern and competency not always apparent in other areas. Even our often-maligned elected officials stood tall.

There will be much dialogue regarding the cause of such a failure. Repercussions may result, but in the face of an extreme situation on Aug. 1, 2007, Minnesotans did very, very well.

PETER T. BROWN, LINO LAKES

Everyone but Don Shelby looked pretty good. Shelby, apparently, acted like a damn fool.

Someone else mentioned another lame element to the television news.

Thumbs down to TV

The collapse of the I-35W bridge Wednesday evening has undoubtedly affected all of us who call the Twin Cities our home. I commend the efforts of firefighters, medical teams, and all other invaluable individuals and organizations who worked throughout the night to rescue victims and reunite families. However, I found the local TV media coverage of this catastrophe very insensitive to the victims and, for the most part, devoid of news value.

KARE-TV, Ch. 11, showed an injured woman being lifted into an ambulance while a man was standing between the woman and the camera man, telling the camera team to back off and give the injured woman and health care providers some space and privacy. The camera team responded merely by airing more footage. Just moments later, two young men were interviewed at the wreckage site. It soon became apparent that neither of them could provide any information as to why the bridge collapsed, and only offered descriptions of "bodies flailing" in the river.

One would hope that a local news team would show more consideration and respect for their neighbors with whom they share the community.

JESSICA KLASSEN, ROSEMOUNT

Regarding the finger pointing folks are talking about...

Bridges are crying for help

I drove over the Interstate Hwy. 35W bridge three times on Aug. 1. The shock of this bridge collapsing rocked me like 9/11. I wanted to cry, and did. So many thoughts went through my head. I went home and turned on the TV.

I have worked with the highway construction companies. They have been begging for increased funding for years.

Based on my clients' objective analysis, I believe there are many bridges around the state, and country that need help. This is a warning to do something.

BRIAN WALKER, BROOKLYN CENTER

The title is a little melodramatic, but that was not likely something Mr. Gubrud wrote. That's the work of the paper. In any case, that's hardly something to get too worked up over. The letter is perfectly fine.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS

Grieving from afar

Please know that any worker who has ever been involved in bridge construction or rehabilitation grieves with your city today. We ache at the thought of this happening to a bridge we may have worked on. Each one of us is asking ourselves, "Did I do something that may have contributed to this tragic event?"

I can't speak for all construction workers, but I know a great many are sending their prayers to Minnesota right now.

JOHN HYMBAUGH, HOPEDALE, ILL.

Of course, after all of that we have a series of finger-pointing letters with snark and jackassary.

Perhaps I'll cover them later.

Damn Stupid Time to Go on Hiatus

2007-08-02T10:43:00.000-05:00

Thank God one of my good friends stopped taking that bridge about two weeks ago. To my knowledge, none of my friends nor my family were anywhere near the thing. I don't even work in that neck of the woods these days. I might need to call some folks I worked with a few years back, though.

In any case, the boy and I said a prayer for those who got caught and the families of those who are missing or dead. Actually, he said I should say the prayer, but he capped it off with an Amen.

From the troops...

Anti-Strib: My Take on Bridge Collapse by The Admiral

Comment section includes...

Jake: Now this ought to get the blood going. Why rebuild it? There have to be better ways to route that traffic across the river than there. This may be an opportunity for Minneapolis to steer congestion away from the city center.

Anti-Strib: Absolutely Freaking Unbelievable by Kermit

Comment section includes...

Jake: Fact is that our entire highway and bridge infrastructure is rotting across the country.

Why? Because we're not paying for maintanance and improvements. Why? Because taxes are BAD, and why should I give my money to the government anyhow, and I don't need no stinkin' government anyways, and people should look out for themselves and not rely on GOVERNMENT to babysit them, yadayadaya...

Fact is that anyone who has spouted this sort of CRAP over the past decade is in his or her own small way responsible for this and future bridge collapses.

Pray all you want. That isn't going to fix ANYTHING.

Followed closely by...

Jake: ...the knee jerk reaction has been on the part of the "no new taxes" folks. Those three words have been used endlessly by countless Republican politicans and operatives, as if the mantra makes sense in any context, for any reason, at any time.

Okay. Thank you for your contribution.