Tuesday, June 27, 2006

View Not Big Enough for Star and O'Donnell

That's unfair to say... since Star Jones lost all that weight. Even if Rosie didn't look like she does, she still acts like a pig.

Not that I'm into celebrity gossip (and not that Rosie and Star are real celebrities), but apparently Rosie and Star don't get along well. By the sound of the story Star might have been encouraged to leave the show.

I was actually surprised to hear the show was still on. The show has no substance... and the addition of a know-nothing blowhard like O'Donnell only brings even more ballast to a ship full of dead weight.

Photo courtesy: Tracy Morgan

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Moron Protests Historic Fort Snelling

Not much on this story just yet, but yesterday I drove under a bridge near Fort Snelling. Protestors held banners calling for the dismantling of Fort Snelling... and when I say protestors I mean two.

The banners mentioned something about removing the imperialist fort... and something else. I called the Historic Fort Snelling and the gal I spoke with said these people started about a week ago.

All I can find so far (for free) was the following published on June 16, 2006, Page B6, St. Paul Pioneer Press:

Two photos were taken by Chris Ploydoroff including:

1) Tiffany Eggenberg of Prior Lake and her son Wyatt, 7, held a banner with other protesters on the Mendota Bridge near Historic Fort Snelling on Thursday. The group of about 10 people are urging the state not to fund renovations for the fort.

2) Native plants and prairie grasses spread before Fort Snelling. The fort is in need of major renovations, and protesters say taxpayers' money would be better spent tearing down the structures and returning the cleared land to the Dakota tribe.

Perhaps I'll get the photos. However, in the meantime I have this:
Tiffany Eggenberg, Minnesota

Tiffany Eggenberg

Although I'm cheap, I might fork over the cash to get the details.

Based on the gal from Fort Snelling, this ain't nothing but a couple of crazy-leftists (is there any other kind?) and I might not want to give them publicity... which is hardly anything that I could give them here on my blog. ;)

Democrat New Direction

James Lileks is ours. He hails from Good Old St. Paul and Big Time Minneapolis, as Mischke would say. (Probably more from Big Time, at least based on his comments regarding his college days at the U of M.)

In any case, Lileks, The Bleat, and the Diner (from somewhere around the muddy ditches of Highway 61) come from a local boy... and boy can this local write.

He is just as sarcastic as Ann Coulter, but without Basil Fawlty/Blackadder sarcasm... which is fine because I'm not sure he could do that kind of sarcasm as well as Ann.

Lileks mentions that the Democrat party loves coming up with slogans. So many they might want to consider a quality control plan.

What new slogan have the sons and daughters of FDR crafted?
...another phrase focus-tested into a thin smear of rhetorical mush: "A New Direction for America." Disaffected Republicans were heartened. You mean less spending, quicker confirmation of conservative judges, permanent tax cuts and increased military outlays? Well, no. Nancy Pelosi announced that should the Democrats retake the House, item No. 1 will be bold and sweeping: They will "give America a raise by increasing the minimum wage."

I'll quote Judge Smails.
"Well... we're waiting!"

Oh! That was the new direction.
The minimum wage was indeed a New Direction — last century, anyway. But when the unofficial GOP slogan is "Fight and win the War on Terror by blowing up more bad guys real good," a call for a wage boost is like running against FDR with a pledge to reduce postal rates.

I won't go on (like I did on Anti-Strib yesterday... whoa, that horse charged outta the stable!)

Before you rush off to read his column for this week, I'll leave you with another fine couple of lines that made me laugh.
The Dems' manifesto goes on. My, it does go on.

"Lower Gas Prices and Achieve Energy Independence." By cutting the gas tax? More nukes? ANWR? Faster, pussycat! Drill! Drill! Right? Alas: They will "crack down on price gouging," presumably by hiring 100,000 people to roam the land looking at gas station signs and comparing notes...

Maybe James isn't your bag... but you gotta admit, that man can write.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Anti-War Has-Been Uses War, Soldiers to Pander to Public

For eff's sake, can't anyone see she's hoping folks think she's still "hip" and relevant?

That, and she's also hoping that the new helmets will be made of a more flexible material... one that might one day be used in plastic surgury and cosmetic enhancements.

Look at her, she's sculpted! It's freaky.

Celebrate Summer: The Frickin' Solstice

Huh? What kind of nonsense is this?

I should know, I have enough eco-friendly, left-leaning, differently faithed, namby-pamby, diversity-minded, non-judgmental, Godless-Commie friends.

Back in the glory days of my post-high school youth, before I was pair-bonded with a differently-sexed significant other, and before I assumed the role of uber-papa I was a cast member in a Christmas show (much like the Renaissance Festival). Four weekends in a building (or department store) made up to look like a Victorian mansion. Street characters, stage shows, palmists, Harry Collier (I think that was his name) the coal man, knick-knacks, Father Christmas, elves, English matrons, the match girl, vaudevillian comedy, Mr. Scrooge, carols, and even a few rather nice gift ideas (I loved the candles).

In any case, on the last weekend (which always happened right before Christmas) I heard one of the quaintly costumed characters call out to the ever-decreasing number of patrons, “Merry Christmas! Happy Chanukah! Happy Solstice!”

(I capitalized it in the quote, since that’s exactly what the guy meant.)

Happy solstice? What exactly is that?!?!?!

I can’t imagine many Jewish folks actually came in. As I recall, only two people ever mentioned Jewish folks… and in one case it was a street character hawking to passers-by and over-doing it with some Jewish people strolling by. (The kid was being extra inclusive trying to welcome them in when the folks had no intention of dropping by… especially not for five or eight dollars per person.) However, we crossed that bridge long ago… we’ve been equating Chanukah with Christmas (and Christmas with Chanukah) for years. They are absolutely not in the same league. (Now, Yom Kippur, that’s something else.)

But, the fricking solstice? At least the Jews have an honest to goodness miracle attached to Chanukah.

This may come as a shock to some folks… but those eco-friendly, left-leaning, differently faithed, namby-pamby, diversity-minded, non-judgmental, Godless-Commie also include pagans. Some are pagans (whatever that actually means these days) and some are so anti-male/patriarch, counter-culture, anti-establishment, anti-Christian, hyper-sensitive, ritual-obsessed, attention-starved, spiritually-confused folks that they flock to this stuff. None of them ever talk about the meaning of their holidays or the significance of the solstices and equinoxes (equinoi? equinai?) so if there is a redemptive message in the winter solstice, you’d never actually know.

However, we mustn’t exclude anyone. We cannot have anyone made to feel like grubby little urchins with their faces pressed up against the frost covered window-panes. In addition, these anti-capitalist hand-wringers don’t realize that they are using multiculturalism to borrow Christmas to bring capitalism to non-Christians… even pagans occasionally have five bucks.

In any case, my barber shop (which is a trendy, multicultural man-spa with extra copies of Lavender magazine) is having a Summer Solstice Celebration this week.

Oi gevalt. Madonn’.

It was only a matter of time, I guess.

Look, I expect someone to badly misinterpret this post (and blame would in part fall upon me)... they are a private business. So they get to do all that. However, would it kill you to have something for Independance Day? Flag Day? Washington's frickin' birthday? Lincoln's bloody birthday?

Just get another guy in to do straight-edge razor shaves and I'll be happy. (And maybe yet another hottie girl... even though the damn place is full of them.)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Rescue Me: Holy Effing Shit!

This show has entertained and disturbed me for a little while now. Great cast with hillarious scenes followed by gut-wrenching scenes followed by intense drama.

Failing marriages. Alzheimer's disease. Psycho girlfriends. Bizarre stalkers. Post 9/11 depression and anxiety. Anti-depresants. Drunk driving. Antagonistic siblings. Cop/Firefighter rivalry. Abuse. Single-parent strife.

Tonight really moved beyond that. (That's an understatement.) I hate to get vague, but I suspect some folks don't want to see "spoilers". (A friend of min gets wiggy when anything is spoken about a show or film he hasn't seen... in fact, he's neurotic enough to avoid trailers or information about production staff.)
Dennis Leary's character Tommy Gavin just raped his estranged wife Janet... their only son died because of a drunk driver last season and the Gavin family want another male to carry on the Gavin family firefighter tradition. It gets stranger. Tommy's cop brother John has been seeing and sleeping with Janet for a while now. Tommy found out recently and beat the shit out of John. Now, before Tommy went to Janet's house he arranged for John to arrive at Janet's house 30 minutes after Tommy arrived... and the impression is that John knows exactly what's going on.

How in the flamming hootie-hoo is this going to work???

I don't really get it... although, the episode clearly left a lot hanging for next week and further episodes. Some folks will not watch next week because tonight was over the line for them. (I can't really fault them.) I can't help but watch next week to see how in the Hell we can look at the character Tommy Gavin (played by Dennis Leary) in any light other than just plain wrong.

Perhaps one way to look at the decision for the show to go in this direction is gutsy... if you see it you'll know why. Dennis is a fairly well known actor and comedian and this show has earned him more recognition. What happened tonight might turn off more than a few viewers. Each of the characters are likable in a certain way, in spite of their private demons and closets full of skeletons (sometimes because of them)... but I really wonder how this will play out.

Tuesday nights at 9:00 PM Central... on FX.
From the Andrea Roth interview:
"Well, when Tommy comes over and we have sex, it starts off very violent, and you're not really certain exactly what the hell happened. I read in an article that Denis said that scene actually shows how complicated and strong the sexual pull is between these two people and why they are together and find it so hard to be apart. I haven't seen it, but a bunch of producers have said it's their favorite scene."

To the Left: You Are Doing Ann's Work For Her

How I love Ann Coulter. Not only can she turn a good phrase but she can make with the sarcasm better than most. She's got a wicked sense of humor, and I love that in a woman.
First of all, I'm getting a little fed up with people trying to make money off my book. Worthless little cable TV shows with teeny-tiny audiences, ridiculous legislators and tabloid newspapers are all trying to make a name for themselves off the profundity of "Godless."

Stick it to them, sweetheart!

Hey Left-Leaners... want some more?
The establishment's current obsession with me is the MSM's last stand. They've deployed the whole lineup of yesterday's power brokers against me, and all they've accomplished is to make my book the No. 1 book in the country. In other words, their efforts to defeat me have just created more people like me. Now who's stuck in an unwinnable quagmire, losers?
I remarked on a letter to the Star-Tribune last week at Anti-Strib. I also include Mark Davis' piece on the recent rants against Ann. He makes good points... chief among them:
Ms. Coulter does in prose what editorial cartoonists do with pictures: artful exaggeration with the goal of crystallizing a political point.

If her word choice is not your cup of tea, that's fine. Don't buy the book. For me, the Michael Moore mantra that Mr. Bush is an evil idiot is a tad harsh. We all have our tastes.

So, here's the deal - let's all be big boys and girls and realize that anyone intentionally entering a vigorous arena of debate is fair game. And instead of wasting our time hand-wringing over whose style wounds our sensibilities, let's focus on who has a point and who does not. does Tracy from Anti-Strib in the combox of my post.
I think the main differences are cultural, what's funny to the right isn't funny to the left and vica versa.
I've said it many times, Ann knows how to be sarcastic... and even aggressively sarcastic.

I'm still wondering where the jokes are in Michael Moore's comments. I'll grant him that this line is funny:
"He is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel. --Michael Moore on President Bush, after winning the top prize at the Cannes film festival for his documentary film "F*hr*nheit 9/11"
(I couldn't resist the *.)
But what else is there?

At least Ann's smart, funny, attractive, tenacious, and most of all... conservative.

Shame: I Said That!

...but not that well.

Late last year I wrote a couple of posts on the subject of shame... including Have You No Shame? and a follow-up called Louts on Airplanes.

Yesterday, Mary Kathrine Ham's column crafts a much better description.
Shame is a virtue—one of which we see entirely too little these days. It’s an unpleasant emotion, yes, but it can yield great things. It can be what makes us take responsibility for wrongdoing, change old, bad habits and avoid falling into new ones. It can be what makes us see a mistake for what it is and never make it again. It used to be that if you couldn’t muster your own healthy sense of shame that society would make up for it in most cases by telling you when you should hang your head a bit.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we spend so much time making sure no one is “stigmatized,” that we tend to forget that some things deserve a stigma. A good old-fashioned stigma can be useful.
I wish I said that.

Ham's example is much better, at least as far as I can understand why some folks might want to have sex in an airplane (and I have no idea how someone could actually spend government assistance on lap dances). She doesn't rest on one example either:
Excusing fraud produces more fraud. We saw such a pattern play out this week in the fake-and-decidedly-inaccurate scoop from TruthOut’s Jason Leopold about Karl Rove’s imminent indictment. The indictment turned out to be non-existent, and Leopold’s investigative techniques deceitful. Nonetheless, Leopold stands by the story and TruthOut stands by Leopold.

Is there any doubt that this kind of dishonest reporting is partly a result of the lack of professional shame exhibited by the likes of Mary Mapes and Dan Rather? After their laughably sourced Texas Air National Guard hit piece on the eve of the 2004 presidential election, both journalists won prestigious Peabody awards for their work on another “60 Minutes II” piece. Neither has backed off of the assertion that the substance of the National Guard story was accurate even if the documents are questionable (or, as the rest of us call them—forgeries).

Leopold will undoubtedly use a version of the same argument, and he can hold out hope for success with his upcoming memoirs ala other should-be-ashamed notables as Jayson Blair and Jessica Cutler. Shamelessness can get you on the road to a very lucrative career these days.
Luckily for me, I've never really pretended to be a very original thinker or writer... so I'm sure folks excuse my parroting and my "did you hear this" posting.

However, I suspect that at least some of the apparent increase in the lack of shame is looking back selectively at our own history. So much seems to have repeated itself, and continues to repeat itself. Corruption, vice, and wickedness brought about the end of the Roman empire (at least in part)... and that wasn't the first, nor was it the last.

Of course, that doesn't excuse the lack of shame.

Friday, June 16, 2006


Sometime ago I told a couple of folks that I would replace Blogger commenting with Haloscan commenting.

Even though it essentially is an automated process it took several months... not because of Haloscan, but because of me.

Now I need to figure out what kind of film I should watch on Father's Day. Of course, there is The Lion King, although I've often thought of it as a fairly overrated Disney film with a rather uneven collection of songs. It doesn't hold a candle to The Incredibles... which stands a good chance of playing the our DVD player.

Other possibilities include Big Fish, A Bronx Tale, Fiddler on the Roof, or The Godfather.

I might just pop in Miracle or Spider-Man... just because.

commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sleeping Goofy


The past day really goofed me up. Maybe the actual day didn't do it, but something messed with my sleep pattern. Actually, I'll declare Wednesday officially innocent of the crime, but perhaps she knows more than she realizes. Of course, Wednesday isn't going to say one word about it even if I put Lt. Columbo and Perry Mason on the case.

After the events of Tuesday (which aside from spending time with the Boy, were unremarkable and fairly uninteresting) I got to bed late... actually my clock said it was about 12:40 am on Wednesday when got into bed. I woke around 8:15 am to change the Boy and get him to day care. Once I returned home I noodled about with some little tasks and eventually decided to catch a quick nap before I tackled the yard, the kitchen, and (what appears to be) a ship's hold full of laundry. The quick nap started around 11:15 am and I set my alarm for 12:30 pm.

I woke up at 3:00 pm. What in the Hell happened? As if that wasn't bad enough, after getting the Boy and playing with him outside (minimal physical exertion on my part) the Wife returns home and gets food ready. I'm not feeling well, so I lay down on the couch. Almost every couch we get is a Killer... if you just look at it wrong, you fall asleep on it. Watching a movie? Better not lean sideways or you'll be out before the second act.

Luckily, the nap was short-lived. The Wife and Boy joined me downstairs... he was so good at diner that she granted his wish (which involved watching something on DVD... probably Thomas and Friends or one of the Veggie Tales stories). The Wife suggests that I lay down upstairs until my headache goes away, so I do.

Well, 1:15 am rolls around and I wake up. WTF?!?!?!

I used to work overnights. When I returned to a normal schedule I experienced some difficulty such as appetite, grumpiness, headaches, strange sleep patterns, a tendency toward sarcasm, and a desire to lose money to my friends at poker. (Actually the sarcasm, losing at poker, and headaches were already established patterns, but I'm going to blame them on radically changing my day-change.)

Damn, this annoys me... and, as you can tell, it makes for lame blogging.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Clean Joke

If this ain't one of the best clean jokes I know...
A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license and is told he has to take an eye test.

The examiner shows him a card with the letters:


The examiner says, “Can you read this?”

The Polish guy says, “Read it, I know the guy!”

The D&B is rather fond of an Italian joke a friend told her last weekend... although, I had to point out that I often told her that joke years ago. That, and it's as old as the hills.
What sound do flat tires make on an Italian car?

Dago wop wop wop wop.
Goodnight ladies and gentlemen! Tip your waitresses... try the veal.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Pixar Versus Al Gore?

Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg.

Jonah, Jonah, Jonah.

How could he even think of such a thing? That's cruelty to weirdos, half-wits, and charlatans.

Then again, I'm kind of a Pixar guy... and when they come up with a story they really sell it!
There's no need to revisit the arguments about the science of global warming. Let's give Gore et al. the benefit of the doubt and stipulate that they're right about their worst-case scenario hysteria. Let's also give them the benefit of the doubt that they actually believe global warming is the moral equivalent of the Holocaust.

And if we do this, we must ask: Why on Earth aren't these people denouncing the movie "Cars"? Laurie David, a Hollywood environmental activist and producer of "An Inconvenient Truth," said that after she saw John Kerry lose to George W. Bush in the 2004 presidential election, "I made a pledge to myself. I'd do everything I could in the next year to permeate pop culture on this issue. My whole thing is to get it off the science page and onto the front page. Get it off PBS and onto TBS."

Jonah's recent column, as you can see, wonders if Gore's assertion (that today's global warming issue is like yesterday's Haulocaust) is even sincere. Is he taking his own advice seriously enough?

Probably not, and with good reason. America (and the world) probably loves Pixar much more than Al Gore.

Who can blame them?

Monday, June 12, 2006

Speaking of John Cleese...

Apparently, Basil Fawlty recently met with Yakov Smirnoff.

Comdey Genius to Coach Coach Comic Classics

Enough of the aliteration.

John Cleese, one of comedy's greatest assets, says he will write a book to help pass on the basic rules of comedy to new comic hopefuls. He intends to cover stage, screen, and television... from the silent classics (presumably folks like Keaton and Chaplin) to one of England's more recent successes, Ricky Gervais (the man behind The Office).
"I can never do better than `Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game."

I'd argue that A Fish Called Wanda gave Fawlty a fair run for its money... at least in terms of comparing the best elements from each. Both had amazing casts.

Cleese also notes that although rare a few comics have demonstrated a keen understanding of old-fashioned comedy... he mentions a bizarre and hillarious comic from England, Eddie Izzard.

Izzard's earlier material is must-see, especially Glorious and Dress to Kill. He even took part in a few post-Python projects namely hosting one of the Monty Python anniversary specials. Anyone who has seen Eddie Izzard's material can probably detect a subtle presence of the Python masters... as subtle as a 16-ton weight or as a giant cupid foot (courtesy of Agnolo di Cosimo, and Terry Gilliam) descending from the heavens.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Career Oportunity for Zarqawi: Fertilizer

Take THAT, terrorist jackass! You suck!

Drudge Report: (various links)

Fox News: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi Killed in Bombing Raid

My Way News: Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi Killed in Air Raid

Sky News: First Pic Of Zarqawi's Body

Yahoo! News: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi killed in air raid al-Qaida in Iraq Vows to Continue Holy War Transcript: Bush's Statement on Al-Zarqawi

BBC News: Bush hails Zarqawi death in Iraq

Reuters: Al Qaeda's Zarqawi killed

Reuters: In his hometown, relatives pray for 1,000 Zarqawis

St. Paul Pioneer Press: Abu Musab al-Zarqawi killed in air raid

Access North Al-Zarqawi Now a Martyr, His Brother Says

Access North Arab Media Rush to Cover Al-Zarqawi

Minneapolis Star-Tribune (The Enemy Paper): Al-Zarqawi killed in air raid north of Baghdad (Look at the nice picture... what's with that?!?!?!)

Congratulations to the troops! A job well done.

UPDATE: 10:35 AM
The Strib has now changed their Zarqawi photo with a shot of him dead... hmmm. Fishy.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Number of the Beast

You know it is a slow news day when ABC Radio News, AP, Yahoo! News, and others use June 6, 2006 as news.
A Jesuit priest and professor of theology and religious studies called for calm on his web page devoted to 666, underlining that "combinations of three sixes can be found almost anywhere we want, if we look hard enough".
Of course, we've also heard that 616 is the Number of the Beast.

Actually, the one fact we do know is that The Number of the Beast is one of Iron Maiden's better albums, although it pales in comparision to Powerslave.

Well, I just dated myself.