Traitor

I practically gave away the keys to the kingdom yesterday. For this I might get branded, drawn and quartered, and sent to the fishes.

A couple of women at work talked about their spouses, boyfriends, and fathers on how they complain. Commercials come on television and the men charge that the company is conspiring and lying to the viewer. One buys a new vehicle, and after a couple of weeks begins to understand that it isn’t quite what he was sold… and he let loose a torrent of vulgarity. (I wish I could have heard it!) Things break, complain! Someone’s late, complain! Favorite show gets canceled, complain! Favorite show doesn’t get canceled but goes from good to terrible, massive complaining! Your team falls apart in the last few minutes, EPIC COMPLAINING!!!

They just couldn’t fathom how the guys would complain so much. The women told them to knock it off, and were then surprised with the guys were shocked.

Here is my betrayal.


I told them that we love to complain. Christ, I live in Minnesota… I complain every winter, in spite of the fact that I like it. Hell, I love it!

I didn't even realize I had revealed such precious information until well after it had tumbled out of my mouth.

In my defense, I got her to admit they women love to complain, too… so maybe in the interest of détente the two of us will get let free with a slap on the wrist.

Why Such a Cold Winter? Praise for G.W.

Theory: This winter is so snowy and cold because it's freezing in Hell.

Check it out, a Hillary Clinton fan blogs appreciation and thanks to President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush.

;)

...we will always be grateful for what George and Laura Bush did this week, with no media attention, when they very quietly went to Ft. Hood and met personally with the families of the victims of this terrorist attack.

FOR HOURS.

The Bushes went and met privately with these families for HOURS, hugging them, holding them, comforting them.

If there are any of you out there with any connection at all to the Bushes, we implore you to give them our thanks…you tell them that a bunch of gay Hillary guys in Boystown, Chicago were wrong about the Bushes…and are deeply, deeply sorry for any jokes we told about them in the past, any bad thoughts we had about these good, good people.

You may be as surprised by this as we are ourselves, but from this day forward George W. and Laura Bush are now on the same list for us as the Clintons, Geraldine Ferraro, Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and the other political figures we keep in our hearts and never allow anyone to badmouth.

Criticize their policies academically and intelligently and discuss the Bush presidency in historical and political terms…but you mess with the Bushes personally and, from this day forward, you’ll answer to us.

We hope someday to be able to thank George W. and Laura in person for all they’ve done, and continue to do. They didn’t have to head to Ft. Hood. That was not their responsibility.

Scrounge around a little, you'll see the author isn't quite what you'd expect from a Hillary supporter... but more importantly you'll understand why "Sometimes the Universe Brings You the Wrong French Toast". Go ahead... check the link. It's a great, personal story about how easy it is to simply accept some of those little accidents that occur. Sometimes an honest mistake isn't a travesty of justice.

Not only that, in a way your reaction can define who you are.

Vicious and Brutal, but Not a Terrorist

And Elvis is in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out, man.
- Mojo Nixon


If an extremist Islamic terrorist jackass was on an airline, like the Northwest flight on Christmas, who would you want on the flight to help subdue the dirtbag?

A sky marshall?
A courageous passenger?
Agent Jack Bauer?
Joan Rivers?

Personally, I'd want all three... but the reason I would want Joan Rivers, the queen of no-holds-barred quips, is to have her berate, ridicule, and embarass the son of a bitch. It should be part of the punishment for Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab... public vilification by a brassy Jewish woman from New York.

Broadcast the video live on a pay-per-view channel and video-on-demand online. Sell DVDs. Transmit it for free to Yemen. Send those Al-Qaeda jackasses free copies.

Then after that, perhaps folks won't consider her a suspicious passenger.

(Who in the eff was working as the gate agent, Heidi Abramowitz?)

What's Wrong With a Little Cold?

Nothing... that's what's wrong with it.

That's why we have socks... multiple layers of socks, if you like. Not to mention undershirts, long underwear, gloves, hats, scarves, ear muffs, jackets, and fires.

I can't handle the sharp, fierce wind, though. But other than that, a little cold ain't so bad.

My son took to it very well so he could try skating. He wasn't frustrated at repeatedly falling down... in fact, he rather enjoyed slipping on his ass. He also learned to get up quite well, as well as shuffle along on skates. Me? Oh, no. Not yet, anyway. I didn't have the right clothes, much less skates... but soon I'll take to the ice.

This reminds me of my only attempt at ice skating. You'd think a kid who grew up in the state of Minnesota would have at least given it more than one try. I was within fifteen miles of the spot where the boy was falling on his can... some thirty-three or maybe thirty-five years before. I was very discouraged at not being able to consistently get on my feet, much less balance, and I gave up. In fact, I started digging the back of my skate into the ice like a pain in the ass.

All I wanted was a cup of hot chocolate, and perhaps to be home in front of the television. Not that anything was on.

Maybe a little cross country skiing this coming weekend, if not an attempt on the rink.

Wasting Your Own Time and Money: Random Acts of Kindness

Throw out all references to Random Acts of Kindness… it is utter bullshit.

First of all, it is hardly random. You walk in to your local grocery store (already not random) and pay for someone’s groceries… whose groceries? The people who look poor? Not random. The people merely look poor… are they indeed needy or simply wearing old, comfortable clothes? What if you really wouldn't know a poor person if he jumped up and bit you on the ass? (Of course your judgment isn't sound... you want to practice "random acts of kindness" like a dutiful and mindless little quasi-lefty jackass.)

Secondly, why not have a purpose or a meaning behind your generosity? I know why… more than likely it is because giving with meaning takes a little more effort. If you intend to give generously, give to someone who actually needs and deserves your gift!

Perhaps you concern yourself with the plight of the homeless… if that is so, then randomly giving out cash to folks who merely fit the description on the street amounts to patting yourself on the back and showing other people how kind you look. You want to help the homeless? Get some of your old clothes and blankets and coats and gloves and hats and so on. Buy some new ones if you need. Bring that to a homeless shelter or to your local church or synagogue. Volunteer some time there giving those folks soup, cleaning up the place, offer to do odd jobs or offer to pay someone to do repairs.

See a soldier or a cop or a fire fighter or someone from a rescue crew at a restaurant or a bar or a store… quietly buy a gift card and give it to the cashier or waiter before the person checks out. Tell the cashier or waiter or manager to give the person the gift card, or pay for their purchases completely. Send beverages to their base or headquarters or where ever these folks work… hot ones on cold nights or cold ones on hot afternoons.

See someone working late night during a big game? Maybe a telephone repairman is out fixing the cables in your neighborhood on a holiday. Don’t forget the folks braving the traffic as they fix your roads… in the rain or snow. They would enjoy the kindness of a grateful citizen or neighbor bringing a box of cookies, a six- or twelve-pack of drinks, or a gift certificate for a meal on their way home.

Random Acts of Kindness is for well-intentioned, empty-headed hippies. Purposeful generosity and meaningful gratitude makes much better use out of your time and your gift.

Wasting the Peoples' Time AND Money

Are they insane?!?!?!

As mentioned in my previous post, of course they are, but this ain't because of puppy love or the ignorance of youth.

Irritated with loud commercials, the California Democrat found it was also a common complaint with the Federal Communications Commission. So she drafted a bill aimed at preventing TV ads from playing noticeably louder than the programs they sponsor.

(Emphasis mine.)

Of course it was a Democrat! Of course, I'll give you dollars to donuts there are more than enough RINOs getting on board so they can pander to the public.


The Monterey Herald features an editorial on this issue:

Loud commercials truly are one of life's annoyances. On a scale of 10, they rank a 2 or maybe even a 3. As far as nuisances go, they are almost as bad as commercials that are on too often, especially this time of year. Who among us does not know that every kiss begins with K?

But learning that there is legislation pending in Washington to regulate the volume of televised commercials is almost enough to send us searching for information on how to become Libertarians. As originally written by Palo Alto Congresswoman Anna Eshoo, the bill would have prescribed that the volume of TV ads be no louder than the average maximum loudness of the programs they were interrupting. She amended the language later to let the broadcast industry work out the details. What a relief!

The writer considers other "useful" legislative options should this one get pushed through:

· Food service: Waiters should not be allowed to cross the room in a restaurant without looking at the diners they are responsible for. First offense, felony.

· Toothbrushes advertised as "soft" should have to stay that way, statutorily.

· Our own congressman should introduce legislation requiring pharmacies to fill prescriptions within 10 minutes.

How about someone pass legislation requiring public servants read and comprehend the Constitution of the United States of America... and tested... often.

How about that?

However, even this massive turd has a silver lining... consider the damage the House and Senate CANNOT do because they spend their time on this jackassary.

Is it possible the whole world has gone mad?

What a ridiculous question… that’s one of the states of mankind. It seems like we all go a bit mad now and again.

Youth experiences ongoing and persistent madness, at least from the perspective of adults… which sends parents over the edge with madness. Love makes madmen of us all, while unrequited love makes us insufferably loony. Just ask your friends from high school.

Al Gore doesn’t merely make his opponents crazy, he makes his own supporters crazy! Even folks who don’t have much time for AlGore but adhere to his wacky environmental proclamations seem at least a little bit off their heads.

James Cameron, director of That Damn Boat Movie, made a new sci-fi action film with eye-popping visual effects and a thinly veiled message about raping the planet… and spent more than any other film doing it.


A film. You know… celluloid with still images used to make moving pictures with incredibly bright lights and loud sounds in a large comfortable room surrounded by parked cars. And it plays in these rooms around twelve hours out of a 24-hour day.

Madness… madness!