Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Special Promotion: You've Got the Wrong House

Just received a call from a girl offering a special promotion.

Badda-Toddler and I were running around the basement. (I hold him just a couple of inches off the ground so he can run in mid-air and pretend to be Dash from "The Incredibles" while we listen to the great soundtrack... he says "Rea'y, set, go Daddy!") We're worn out (me more than him), so even though the phone rings with the special warning (Mr. Qwest Customer... you have a long-distance call or a telemarketer!) I willingly answer the phone to get some air and a break. Caller ID showed Empereon Marketing calling from (303) 337-8074.

The call essentially followed like this...
Girl with poor grammar, pronunciation, not to mention extremely poor delivery: "Hello sir, um, I'm callin' on behalf of the, uh, Tribune."
Badda-Blogger: "From where?"
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "We're callin' from the Star-Tribune."

(Great, I've got royalty phoning me at 8:10 PM and Her Majesty makes the adults from The Peanuts sound articulate... should I courtsey or reply using a trombone and a horn mute?)

Badda-Blogger: "Oh."
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "We wou' like to see if you'd like to get the paper, the Star and Tribune, sent to your house."
Badda-Blogger: "Is this a special promotion?"
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "Uh, well... you can have the paper sent ta your house Monday through Sunday, Wednesday through Sunday, or just on Sunday."
Badda-Blogger: "Yeah, but is this a promotion?"
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "You can get the Star-Tribune sent from Monday through Sunday for (whatever price she quoted) or you can get it sent from Wednesday to Sunday for (whatever price she quoted) or you can jus' get it on Sundays for (whatever price she quoted)."
Badda-Blogger: "Actually, I write for the Anti-Strib blog in Minneapolis and our staff of commentators ridicule the Star-Tribune every day."
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "Wha' was that?"
Badda-Blogger: "I contribute commentary about how out of touch the Strib's Editorial staff are and how biased and incompetant the columnists are at that paper. I'm pretty sure you don't want to offer me a special promotion to receive the Star-Tribune."
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "You write about the Star-Tribune?"
Badda-Blogger: "Every day."
Girl w/PGPNtMEPD: "Okay."
Badda-Blogger: "Thanks!"
If I had known they were calling I would have prepared something better... and offered her the hotline number to the Anti-Strib offices.

I could have read her some of Nick Coleman's rabid rantings and ravings. Nothing special... any of his rubbish would do.


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