Friday, May 19, 2006

Celebrate the Threatened Urban Forest

Get bent, G. Rolf Svendsen. I'm not going to "celebrate" the "threatened" urban forest. In fact, this year I'm going to have the largest tree in my backyard hacked up and taken away. Damn thing will probably fall on my neighbor's house, or worse yet, my house. I'm going to celebrate less crap in my gutters and fewer signs of bird crap on my car.

We used to have Arbor Day, now we've got Arbor Month and effing Earth effing Day.

Last month I planted a couple hundred trees with the Old Man, my sister, and her boyfriend. We planted them on our Minnesota farm. That's were my sister and I grew up. We didn't spend most of our childhood there, but we've had it since our childhood. She's more into it than I was, but I'm spending more time there since now I'm a father.

We planted the trees for my nephew and the Badda-Toddler. In about 25 or 30 years those boys are going to be able to cut them all down, sell them, and have money to buy a car, pay off college loans, put a down payment on a house, buy an engagement or wedding ring, or to fund a counter-protest to whining Leftists.

In two simple weekends (plus the couple of hundred of trees we planted last year) I've done much more for the environment than your typical grungy, pierced, enviro-whacked, Republican-hating, anti-capitalist dweebs will do in their entire lifetimes.

Now go get your shinebox, Commie.


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