Worst Fortune Cookies

Lame. Utterly lame.

Let me just say I once saw a great fortune cookie fortune. It wasn't wisdom. Not a catchy piece of advice. Hell, it was clearly not going to be in my friend's future. He kept the fortune in his wallet for all time. He might even still have it... although, I can't remember who it was. (I think we've lost touch over the last fifteen years.)

His fortune?

Your ship will make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.

That was a keeper.

What do I get? Oh, over the years I've had some clever phrases, some good advice, some nice sayings, some weak fortunes, others were run of the mill. However, I've had two of the lamest fortunes ever printed. The writer should be ashamed.

The first was between ten and fifteen years ago.

A gentleman is a gentle man.

Complete crap.

Last Sunday I got some great Chinese food and another lame fortune.

Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today.

Who ever wrote that, you are a pratt. A pillock. A berk. Go stick your head in a pig.